Henry Wheatley - How to Make an Index

"A circumstance in the situation of the mansion of early Discipline, discovering the surprising influence of the connexion of ideas."

"Some peculiarities indicative of a country school, with a short sketch of the sovereign presiding over it."

"Some account of her night-cap, apron and a tremendous description of her birchen sceptre."

"Her titles and punctilious nicety in the ceremonious assertion of them."

"A view of this rural potentate as seated in her chair of state, conferring honours distributing bounties and dispensing proclamations."

Gay composed a full and humorous index for his interesting picture of eighteenth-century London— Trivia . The poet added a few entries to the index in the quarto edition of his Poems (1720). The following selected references will show the character of the index:

"Asses, their arrogance."

"Autumn, what cries then in use."

"Bully, his insolence to be corrected."

"Chairs and chariots prejudicial to health."

"Cellar, the misfortune of falling into one."

"Coach fallen into a hole described."

"Glazier, his skill at football."

"London, its happiness before the invention of Coaches and Chairs."

"Periwigs, how stolen off the head."

"Quarrels for the wall to be avoided."

"Schoolboys, mischievous in frosty weather."

"Wall, to whom to be given.

–– to whom to be denied."

"Women, the ill consequence of gazing on them."

Of modern examples of the amusing index, by far the best is that added to the inimitable Biglow Papers by the accomplished author, James Russell Lowell. Here are some extracts from the index to the First Series:

"Adam, eldest son of, respected."

"Babel, probably the first congress."

"Birch, virtue of, in instilling certain of the dead languages."

"Cæsar, a tribute to. His Veni, Vidi, Vici censured for undue prolixity."

"Castles, Spanish, comfortable accommodation in."

"Eating Words, habit of, convenient in time of famine."

"Longinus recommends swearing (Fuseli did the same thing)."

"No, a monosyllable. Hard to utter."

"Noah enclosed letter in bottle, probably."

"Ulysses, husband of Penelope. Borrows money. (For full particulars see Homer and Dante .)"

"Wrong, abstract, safe to oppose."

The following are from the Second Series:

"Antony of Padua, Saint, happy in his hearers."

"Applause, popular, the summum bonum ."

"'Atlantic,' editors of, See Neptune . [There is no entry under Neptune.]"

"Belmont. See Woods ."

"Bible, not composed for use of coloured persons."

"Charles I, accident to his neck."

"Ezekiel would make a poor figure at a Caucus."

"Facts, their unamiability. Compared to an old fashioned stage-coach."

"Family trees, a primitive forest of."

"Jeremiah hardly the best guide in modern politics."

"Missionaries, useful to alligators. Culinary liabilities of."

"Rum and water combine kindly."

"Shoddy, poor covering for outer or inner man."

"'They'll say,' a notable bully."

"Woods, the, See Belmont ."

"World, this, its unhappy temper."

"Writing, dangerous to reputation."

The witty Dr. William King, student of Christ Church, Oxford, and afterwards Judge of the Irish Court of Admiralty, presented an example of the skilled controversialist spoken of by Hill Burton as letting fly "a few Parthian arrows from the Index." He was dubbed by Isaac D'Israeli the inventor of satirical indexes, and he certainly succeeded in producing several ill-natured ones.

When the wits of Christ Church produced under the name of the Hon. Charles Boyle the clever volume with which they thought to annihilate the great Dr. Bentley, Dr. King was the one who assisted by producing a bitter index.

The first edition of Dr. Bentley's Dissertation on the Epistles of Phalaris and the Fables of Esop examin'd (1698) has no index; but Dr. King's work was added to the second edition published in the same year. It was styled, A short account of Dr. Bentley by way of Index . Then follows:

"Dr. Bentley's true story of the MS. prov'd false by the testimonies of

–– Mr. Bennet, p. 6.

–– Mr. Gibson, p. 7.

–– Dr. King, p. 8.

–– Dr. Bentley, p. 19."

"Dr. Bentley's civil usage of Mr. Boyle.

"His civil language to

–– Mr. Boyle.

–– Sir W. Temple.

"His singular humanity to

–– Mr. Boyle.

–– Sir Edward Sherburne.

humanity to Foreigners.

"His Ingenuity in

–– relating matters of fact.

–– citing authors.

–– transcribing and plundering

notes and prefaces of

–– Mr. Boyle.

–– Vizzanius.

–– Nevelet.

–– Camerarius.

–– Editor of Hesychius.

–– Salmasius.

–– Dr. Bentley.

"His appeal to Foreigners.

–– a suspicious plan.

–– a false one.

"His modesty and decency in contradicting great men.

"(Long list from Plato to Every body).

"His happiness in confident assertions for want

–– of Reading.

–– of Judgment.

–– of Sincerity.

"His profound skill in Criticism

From beginning to

The End."

This is certainly more vindictive than witty.

All the wits rushed madly into the fray, and Swift, in his "Battel fought last Friday between the Antient and Modern Books in St. James's Library," committed himself irretrievably to the wrong side in this way: "A captain whose name was B-ntl-y, in person the most deformed of all the moderns; tall but without shape or comeliness, large but without strength or proportion. His armour was patched up of a thousand incoherent pieces...."

Then look at the leader of the opposing host: "Boyl clad in a suit of armor which had been given him by all the gods immediately advanced against the trembling foe, who now fled before him."

It is amazing that such a perverted judgment should have been given by some of our greatest writers, but all is to be traced to Bentley's defects of temper, so that Dr. King was not altogether wrong in his index.

Sir George Trevelyan in his Life of Macaulay refers to Bentley's famous maxim (which in print and talk alike he dearly loved to quote), that no man was ever written down except by himself, and quotes what the historian wrote after perhaps his tenth perusal of Bishop Monk's life of the great critic: "Bentley seems to me an eminent instance of the extent to which intellectual powers of a most rare and admirable kind may be impaired by moral defects."

Charles Boyle's book went through four editions, and still there was silence; but at last appeared the "immortal" Dissertation , as Porson calls it, which not only defeated his enemies, but routed them completely. Bentley's Dissertation upon the Epistles of Phalaris , with an answer to the objections of the Hon. C. Boyle, Esq., first appeared in 1699. De Quincey described it as one of the three most triumphant dissertations existing upon the class of historico-critical problems, "All three are loaded with a superfetation of evidence, and conclusive beyond what the mind altogether wishes." 7 7 Rosicrucians and Free-Masons (De Quincey's Works , vol. 13, p. 388).

In another place De Quincey points out the line of argument followed by Bentley: "It was by anachronisms of this character that Bentley detected the spuriousness of the letters ascribed to Phalaris. Sicilian towns, &c., were in those letters called by names that did not arise until that prince had been dead for centuries. Manufactures were mentioned that were of much later invention. As handles for this exposure of a systematic forgery, which oftentimes had a moral significance, these indications were valuable, and gave excessive brilliancy to that immortal dissertation of Bentley's." 8 8 Memorial Chronology (De Quincey's Works , vol. 14, p. 309).