hunnyfresh - Letters from War

"Regina." Her name on Emma's lips was quiet plea, a whisper, a prayer, a promise.

And as Regina woke slowly from her sleep, an ache in her heart more intense than the throbbing in her core, not for the first time she cursed herself that she and Emma hadn't done more that night, or that week for that matter. Carnal desire wasn't what she craved whenever Regina wondered about what could occur between herself and Emma. On more than one occasion had she had a similar dream, but in the end, she just wanted to feel Emma pressed against her, know that she's there.

When Regina adopted Henry, she knew she would never again have another lonely Christmas with a little too much eggnog and way too much time on her hands to mull over the fact that another year was passing, and she was alone. This past Christmas held a hollowness to it where a certain blonde haired soldier no doubt would have filled the void, and Henry had felt it too.

The days leading up to Christmas kept the pair busy as they spent a full day putting up their Christmas tree. Regina had learned that although real trees smelled delightful, after their first year where eight-month old Henry tended to play a little too closely to the tree to see the sparkly lights and wound up getting poked and prodded by the sharp pine needles, or worse putting them in his mouth, that they needed a real Christmas tree simply wasn't practical. Putting together the artificial tree was much more pleasant to do as Henry had helped to pull apart the branches, though the ball of artificial snow had him rolling around in the cotton like a cat around string.

Then they had the annual Christmas party where Regina had suffered through numerous photo ops and Henry kept pilfering gingerbreads from the sweets table. Regina had even apologized to Tina Bell who was one of Santa's elves that year. The younger blonde smiled sincerely, and later that night Regina had overhead her speaking with Ruby that Christmas miracles do happen. Any other time Regina would have reprimanded her for such a statement, but the brunette just rolled her eyes affectionately and let it slide.

Within the blink of an eye, it was Christmas Eve, and Regina was chasing an overexcited Henry around the house, his reindeer house slippers sliding on the polished hardwood as he turned corners to avoid his mother before darting up the stairs and tucking himself into her bed where he cuddled under the covers with a pleased and innocent smirk on his face.

"Santa's coming tonight," Henry whispered excitedly when Regina finally appeared at her bedroom door slightly out of breath.

"Santa will only come if you go to sleep," Regina said gently as she sidled into bed, knowing that attempting to move Henry into his would be a futile decision. Besides, who knew how quickly he would tire of being Mommy's bestest friend, so she soaked it up when she could.

Henry grinned and promptly shut his eyes before curling an arm around his mother's neck. "Was I good, Mommy?"

Regina pressed a kiss to his forehead as her hand rubbed soothing circles on his back. "You're the best."

Henry hadn't felt like the best that Christmas Day, and it broke Regina's heart to find out why.

Like any toddler on Christmas morning, Henry woke at the crack of dawn and it took much persuasion on Regina's part to get him to sleep for at least another hour. He hadn't visited dreamland as his mother would have liked, but at least he was laying still and quiet, if not a bit fidgety, for the forty-five minutes, so Regina showed him some mercy and helped him down the stairs where he raced to the Christmas tree, finding the presents Santa had placed under there in the middle of the night.

He had been preoccupied for a while, opening presents and oblivious to the pictures Regina kept constantly snapping. Now and then he would pause to take a bite out of the cinnamon and raisin oatmeal Regina had prepared, but when the mess was cleaned up and under the tree was bare, Henry continued to search under, around, and in the tree for more.

"Henry, what are you looking for?" Regina asked, placing the clay-mold handprint Henry had made for her on the side table.

"Can't find it," he gruffed, dropping to his belly and looking under the couch.

"You can't find what, dear?"

"My present." He moved to the fireplace and peered upward to see if it had gotten stuck in the chimney.

"That's all Santa brought," Regina said confused. She was sure she had gotten everything on his list.

"No!" He stomped a foot and pouted before running back to the tree for another look.

"Henry," Regina warned disapprovingly when the tree wobbled in its stand. She walked to him and crouched to his level. His lip quivered and his eyes were already filling with tears. "It wouldn't be fair if you got all the presents, would it?"

"I was go-oo-oo-ood!" The final word came out in a loud cry as Henry collapsed into his mother's embrace.

Regina instinctively cradled him, carrying his sobbing form to the couch and sitting him on her knee. He pulled the collar of his pj top up to cover his eyes as he cried into the shirt.

"I know you where very good, but sometimes Santa can't give you everything you want."

"But–b–but–" he blubbered and wiped at his eyes with his forearms and collar before staring pleadingly at his mother. "But I wanted it!"

"What did you want?"

" Emma! " A fresh wave of tears struck his cheeks before he fell limp into Regina's neck.

The brunette woman paused when the word hit her ears, and all she could do was press her cheek to the top of Henry's head and rub his back. She could have tried to tell him that Uncle August was visiting soon, that Rex was now a married dino with Henry's new Mrs. Rexy, or that a small amount of snow fell during the night, but Regina knew none of those things could ever make up for Emma's absence that day.

"Me too, sweetie," Regina whispered into his hair. "Me too."

Henry had relatively settled down for the remainder of the day, but the usually energetic boy became shy when he came down from his room, clutching his backpack and producing two art crafts made of a paper plate cut into a triangle with a circle at its tip for the head, baby blue wings glued to the back, and a clothes pin hot glue gunned to the base to be clipped to the tree. One had brown string glued for its hair while the other had long, yellow strands, and both had gold pipe cleaner halos glued to the top of the head. It didn't take a genius for Regina to deduce who they represented and who they were for, but the brunette smiled happily, if not a little watery, promising Henry they'd show Emma when she returned.

The family had spent the rest of the day playing with Henry's new toys and marathoning the House of Mouse before having a feast for dinner that was far more than two people could handle. Regina had indulged in two bowls of rocky road ice cream and constantly played with her necklace, well Emma's. She couldn't help but think this was break-up behaviour and refused to have such juvenile thoughts until she took another hefty bite of ice cream and distracted herself by helping Henry show Mrs. Rexy around the house.

Even now, two days later, Regina woke still feeling like the holidays weren't quite right. She had sent Emma a Christmas gift weeks prior despite their dispute, and the wait never ceased to drive Regina mad. Pulling herself out of bed, she mused over the chores she had to get done today for August's arrival the day after next. She stopped by Henry's room, content to find her son snuggled into bed with Mrs. Rexy and Junior under each arm. The covers were kicked off and one leg was hanging off the bed––all signs of a good sleep. Deciding not to wake him, Regina showered and dressed for the day, donning leggings and a long sweater.

It took her an hour to tidy up the kitchen and the living room, and by that time, Henry had sleepily stumbled into the kitchen where she was cleaning out the fridge. He hugged her back from behind and nestled into the crook of her shoulder blades, his breathing already evening as if he were ready to fall asleep all over again.