hunnyfresh - Letters from War

Regina shook her head in understanding. "Nightmare?"

"Yeah." Emma finally withdrew from the window and crawled to the head of the bed sitting with her back against the headboard.

"Do they happen often?" Regina asked hesitantly, sitting on the edge of the bed.

"Sometimes." Emma gave a half shrug. "I didn't mean to wake you."

"Motherhood has made me a light sleeper," Regina admitted.

Emma gave a half-hearted smirk, leaning her head back and shutting her eyes, counting backwards from ten as the noises in her mind slowly faded away. When she opened them again, she saw Regina still watching her, concern etching her brow. Despite the light orange glow peeking into the room from behind the drapes, Regina shivered in the barely used room and ran a palm up and down her arms. The goosebumps pebbled on her flesh, and Emma felt bad again for waking up the woman who had already extended her generosity to Emma far more than was necessary.

"Are you okay?" Regina asked again, her question laced with numerous other inquiries yet Emma heard them all loud and clear.

Compartmentalizing was key to her job. A soldier fought better when emotions didn't get in the way, Emma knew that. Hell, that got her through some of the toughest foster homes she had ever been in. But she knew the consequences of it as well, the horror stories of suffering from PTSD, of snapping under the weight of the pressure, going home a changed person. Not me, Emma thought. That wouldn't be her. So she was honest and shook her head, clenching the sheets in her tight fists. "I couldn't save August," she admitted quietly.

A brief moment of confusion clouded Regina's features before her mouth parted into a small, understanding "o".

"I exposed him and he got killed," the blonde continued, her fists clenched in her lap as they rubbed over one another as if they were stained with blood. "I might as well have put the gun to his head."

"Emma," Regina drawled cautiously, scooting up further to the head of the bed. A warm hand came down gently on Emma's forearm though it didn't cease the tension coiling through the blonde. "You saved his life. You went back for him, and you got him the medical attention he needed."

Emma laughed dryly. "So he can live the rest of his days either confined to a wheelchair or hobbling on a prosthetic?"

"So he can live ." Regina rubbed her palm further down Emma's forearm until she reached the clenched hands and carefully extracted them from one another. With Regina's soothing rubbing circles to the back of her hand, Emma allowed the tension to seep away from her body, escaping right where Regina was touching her. "Does he seem dissatisfied by the turn of events?"

Emma shrugged, finally looking up to make eye contact with the older brunette. "He says he's doing okay, but I saw the beer bottles. It's hard on him."

"As it would be. He's suffered a life altering event," Regina reminded her with a squeeze to her palm. "His life has changed drastically, but he can continue to live it. I understand the guilt you must feel, but you are not the one who damaged his leg. You are the one that brought him home."

Emma was quiet for a moment, replaying events in her mind where August's end result wasn't lying in a hospital bed fighting for his life. No matter how hard she tried, even the best circumstance had an unpleasant end. Emma knew that when she enlisted. She knew the risks and was willing to take them. She sighed, running her free hand through her hair. "It could have been worse," she guessed.

"And it could have been better. But your actions were honourable and selfless. Don't ever forget that, soldier."

Emma smirked, the guilt and tension subsiding for now before she removed her arm from Regina's grasp and squeezed the brunette's palm in gratitude. "I won't."

Regina gave a small smile which the blonde returned shyly. "Do you feel better?"

Emma nodded. "It's nice to talk to someone. Definitely quicker than mail."

"More pleasant to look at too," Regina said before she could fully process her words. It was only Emma's intrigued raised eyebrow that made Regina blush and flounder for clarification, something that Emma found endearing and absolutely adorable. No doubt the high strung Mayor was never at a loss for words before. "I mean, talking to a real person is more appealing than words on a page."

Emma chuckled and relaxed back into the bed. "I'm sure that's what you meant."

Regina rolled her eyes, glaring softly at the blonde in the bed before her gaze zeroed in on the charm hanging on the beaded chain of her dog tag. "You kept it," Regina observed, leaning over to finger the swan charm partially hidden behind the identification tags.

Emma looked down at Regina's touch and reflexively pressed her own fingers to her necklace, brushing Regina's in the process. The brunette made no start to move her hand and instead grazed her thumb over the engraving.

"Yeah," Emma said, lifting up the chain between them as they both examined the charm closely. "Why wouldn't I?"

"I didn't expect you would wear it on your person." Regina moved her fingers to one of the two dog tags, squinting her eyes at the piece of metal. "I always wondered what these meant."

"They're ID tags," Emma explained, easing the one Regina was fingering out of the woman's grasp before scooting closer so she could help bring it into the glowing light of the morning sun. She skimmed over every embossed line and spoke. "My name. Social security number. And blood type. There's two tags so that one can be left with the body in case..."

"In case your body can't be retrieved right away," Regina provided darkly, meeting Emma's gaze, but the blonde nodded nonetheless.

Regina shook her head. "The tag taken, who do they notify in the event of a fatality?"

"Usually a spouse, but the closest kin or the emergency contact."

"Who do they notify if anything happens to you?" Regina clarified.

Emma bit the inside of her cheek, rolling a shoulder nonchalantly. "I don't know, I haven't really put anyone down for it."

"Why not?" Regina asked alarmed.

"Group home to group home to boot camp, remember?" Emma said with a tight smile. "Nobody to contact. I'm a glorified ward of the state."

Regina opened her mouth, but as soon as the barest of sounds escaped her lips both Emma and Regina turned their heads at the sound of Regina's alarm clock blaring in her room.

Emma feigned a stretch and looked at Regina pointedly. "Well good morning, Regina."

Regina laughed once and stood. "I'll turn that off and let you return to bed."

Her statement was useless for Emma was already up and out of bed, fluffing out the blanket to drape it over its length, tucking the ends under the mattress until it was taut. "I get up with the sun. I was hoping to go for a run."

"Of course," Regina said standing by the wall, impressed at Emma's impeccable bed-making skills. Looking at the blonde, one would question her discipline since her light-hearted and jovial nature was her most striking characteristic, but habit and duty was ingrained in her blood and surfaced at even the oddest moments.

Emma smirked when Regina blushed down at her attire, finally realizing that her blue nightie was more revealing than she had expected. Her haste to see to her guest superseded her need for modesty. Suppressing a chuckle, Emma stood proud in her own tank top and underwear attempting to make Regina feel as comfortable as possible. Regina left the room, and soon the house quieted from the blaring alarm, and Regina returned to Emma's room, donning a robe cinched tightly around her waist.

"I'm afraid I can't give you that tour I promised you for today. I have a few meetings that I couldn't reschedule."

"It's okay. I'll explore the town." Emma moved to the far wall where her rucksack lay and bent over to retrieve a pair of leggings before pausing in thought. "My sneakers are in my duffel in my car."