Danielle Steel - Accident

Brad was very upset when he heard about Andy's arm, and it sounded as though he blamed Page, but he didn't say it.

“Are you sure he's all right? It's his right arm, isn't it?”

“It is, and it's a nasty break, but they said it should heal cleanly. He has to be a little more careful with the shoulder. No pitching this year, and maybe even no more baseball till next year.”

“Shit,” Brad said, sounding almost as upset as he had been about Allie. But their reactions were no longer appropriate. They were both filled up with fear and disaster. She understood perfectly why he was reacting the way he was about Andy.

“I'm sorry, Brad.”

“Yeah …”he said absently, and then remembered to ask. It had been such a relief to be in Chicago. “How's Allie?”

“The same. I haven't seen her since this morning. I stayed home with Andy.” She didn't tell him that Trygve and Bjorn had brought dinner for them, and oddly enough neither did Andy. She didn't tell him not to tell Brad anything, she wouldn't have done that to him, but it was as though he sensed there was already enough trouble with his parents.

She and Trygve had been very circumspect while they were there, but there was something warm and different now that passed between them. Just since that morning, things had changed, and it was suddenly very hard to deny their feelings.

They had sat and talked in the living room for a long time, while the boys played quietly in Andy's room with the dog. Bjorn really liked Andy's baseball cards, and his rock collection from the previous summer. Bjorn wanted to play slapjack too, but Andy was too tired.

They were both sorry to see them go, and Page let Andy sleep in her bed that night, and for once he didn't wet it. He had been having accidents ever since Allie had been hurt. But now he seemed calmer than he had in a long time, and the pain pills let him sleep peacefully until morning. And while he slept, Page lay in bed and held him for a long time, stroking his hair, and thinking about him …and Brad …and Trygve. She didn't know what she was going to do. Trygve had become a dear friend and she was very attracted to him. But Brad was her husband of sixteen years. She still couldn't bring herself to believe she would lose him, and yet in a way she already had, and she knew it. But she had never cheated on him before, and no matter how attractive Trygve was, or how difficult her situation, she didn't want to do anything she'd regret later, or start their relationship in a way that might spoil it.

But when Brad came home from Chicago on Wednesday night, he was distant and cool, and he acted as though he scarcely knew her. He stayed away Thursday night, never called, and was chilly with her on Friday night when he came home briefly. It was impossible to pretend that the marriage wasn't over. The mark of Stephanie was all over him. He was wearing different ties, new suits, and had had a different haircut. But no matter how far Brad went, she didn't want to go to Trygve on the rebound. She wanted more than anything to sort out her situation with Brad, and what they were going to do, before she did anything, but he wouldn't even discuss it. The only thing he would discuss with her now was how furious he was about her mother's visit.

“How can you let her come out here right now? And your sister on top of it! Did you hire a hairdresser to stay with us, or are you going to call 911 and have one sent over anytime she needs it?”

“All right, Brad. I'm not happy about it either.”

They were discussing it on Friday night before he went out for dinner, supposedly with clients. “How can I tell them not to come? Allie's in critical condition, and they want to see her.” It sounded reasonable, but she also knew that her mother and sister were not reasonable people. Brad had always hated them, and they really weren't fond of him either, although her mother pretended she was, but she wasn't. He knew too much about the past, her mother had always held it against her that she had told him. “I did everything I could to discourage them, but she just announced that they were coming.”

“Then you just announce to them that they can't stay here.” She could see from his expression that he meant it.

“I can't do that, Brad. They're my family,” she said uncomfortably. She had managed to run away from them finally, but she still couldn't bring herself not to see them, or keep them away completely.

“Horseshit, you can do anything you want and you know it.”

She started getting angry then. He didn't do a damn thing to help her, all he did was issue ultimatums. “Like you do, Brad? Are you afraid they might interfere with your social life, now that you've become so open about it?” The war was on again, it had actually been very restful while he was in Chicago.

“I've been busy at the office.”

“Like hell you are. And I'll bet you were real busy in Chicago.” But he wheeled on her then with an angry look that warned her not to push him any further. He was in the wrong, but he still didn't want any pressure from her. It wasn't fair, and he knew it, but he wasn't ready to do anything to change that.

“That's none of your business,” he said in a taut voice.

“Why not?”

“Things are moving too fast for me.” They were moving too fast for her too. They had moved with the speed of lightning in the last two weeks, but it wasn't her fault. “I want things to calm down before I make any major decisions.” And then he turned to her and said something that surprised her. “I've decided that I'm not ready to move out yet.” She didn't say anything as she looked at him, wondering if he'd had a change of heart, or if he was fighting with Stephanie now too, or just scared of too many changes.

“Does that have anything to do with geographies, or our marriage?” she asked, her heart giving a little leap of confusion. No matter what he had done to her in the last two weeks, he was still her husband, and maybe she still loved him.

“I don't know,” he said unhappily, but making no move toward her. “Moving out is such a big step, it scares the hell out of me. Maybe I've been a fool … I just don't know. But I don't think I could go back to the way things were either.”

They both knew that nothing would ever be the same again. She would never trust him, and they both suspected he couldn't give up Stephanie. He wondered about that most …but leaving Page meant leaving Andy. In the past week, he had thought about that a lot, and the pain of it almost killed him. Stephanie didn't seem to understand that. She said Andy could visit them, but it wasn't the same thing, and Brad knew it. “I just don't have any of the answers.” He looked at Page unhappily. “I don't know which way to turn.” He sat down on the bed and ran a hand through his hair, as Page watched him. She was leery of him now after he had hurt her so much, and was continuing to do so daily.

“Maybe we should wait and see.” Maybe some of it was a reaction to the accident, but she knew now that a lot of it wasn't. “Want to try seeing a counselor?” Page asked hesitantly, not sure she wanted to herself, but Brad's answer was quick and certain.

“No.” He shook his head. Not if it meant giving up Stephanie. He wasn't willing to do that. He didn't want to leave Page yet, but he didn't want to lose Stephanie either. Stephanie was more important to him. She seemed to embody youth and hope and the future, almost like Allie. But even he knew that his life was a mess, and everything he touched confused him.

“I don't know what else to suggest. Other than an attorney.”

“Neither do I.” He looked at her honestly. “Can you go on living like this for a while, or is it too hard on you?”

“I'm not sure. I couldn't do it forever. Or maybe even for very long. Not much longer.”