Danielle Steel - Full circle

“I will. Have a good Thanksgiving, Mom.”

“I shall. And I'll thank Arthur for you.” Jean said the words pointedly and Tana looked blank at her end.

“What for?”

“The ball, Tana, the ball … I don't know if you realize it yet, but something like that is very important for a young girl, and it's not something that I could provide for you myself.” Important … ? Important to whom … ? “You have no idea what something like this means.” Tears stung Jean Roberts' eyes. In some ways, it was a dream come true. Andy and Jean Roberts' little girl, the baby Andy had never seen, would be coming out in New York society, and even if it was on the fringe, it was an important event for both of them … for Tana … and especially for Jean … it would be the most important moment in her life. She remembered Ann's coming out ball. She had planned every exquisite detail and had never thought that one day Tana would be coming out too.

“I'm sorry, Mom.”

“You'd better be. And I think you ought to write Arthur a nice note. Tell him what it means to you.” She wanted to scream into the phone. What the hell does it mean? That she'd find a rich husband some day, that they could mark it on her pedigree? Who cared? What accomplishment was that, to curtsy at a dumb ball, being gaped at by a lot of drunks? She didn't even know who she was going to take with her, and she shuddered at the thought. She had gone out with half a dozen different boys during her last two years of school, but there had never been anyone serious, and after what had happened in Greenwich in June, there was no one she wanted to go out with at all.

“I have to go, Mom.” She was suddenly desperate to get off the phone, and when she returned to her room, she looked depressed and Sharon looked up. She was doing her nails again. It was an eternal process with both of them. Recently they had both tried beige, “Straw Hat” by Faberg6.

“She said no?”

“She said yes.”

“So? You look like someone just burst your balloon.”

“I think she did.” Tana sat down on her bed with a thump. “Shit. She got her damn friend to sign me up for some dumb coming out ball. Jesus Christ, Shar, I feel like a complete fool.”

Sharon looked up at her and started to laugh. “You mean you're going to be a debutante, Tan?”

“More or less.” Tana looked embarrassed and groaned at her friend. “How could she do that to me?”

“It might be fun.”

“For who? And what the hell's the point? It's like a big cattle drive. They shove you around in a white dress and show you off to a lot of drunks, and you're supposed to find a husband somewhere in the bunch. Pretty cute, huh?” She looked sick, and Sharon put her nail polish away.

“Who're you going to take?”

“Don't ask. She wanted Billy Durning to be my escort of course, and thank God he'll be out of town.”

“Be grateful for that.” Sharon looked pointedly at her.

“I am. But the whole thing sounds like a farce.”

“So are a lot of things in life.”

“Don't be so cynical, Shar.”

“Don't be so chicken, Tan. It'll do you good.”

“Says who?”

“Says I.” Sharon advanced towards her and tried to stare her down. “You live like a nun around here.”

“So do you. So what?”

“I don't have any choice.” Tom had never called her again, it was more than he could cope with, Sharon knew, and in truth she understood. She hadn't expected more of him. But it didn't make her life very interesting at Green Hill. “You do.”

“Never mind.”

“You've got to start going out.”

“No, I don't.” Tana looked her right in the eye. “I don't have to do a goddamn thing I don't want to do. I'm eighteen years old, and I'm free as a bird.”

“A lame duck.” Sharon stared her down. “Get out there again, Tan.” But Tana said nothing at all. She walked into the bathroom they shared with the next room, locked the door, ran a bath, and didn't come out for an hour. “I meant what I said.” Sharon's voice was husky in the darkened room, once they were both in their beds.

“About what?”

“You should start going out again.”

“So should you.”

“I will one of these days.” Sharon sighed. “Maybe over the holidays when I'm home. There's no one for me to go out with here.” And then she laughed. “Hell, Tan, I don't know what I'm complaining about. At least I've got you.”

Tana smiled at her and they chatted for a few minutes and then drifted off to sleep.

The following week Tana went home to Washington with her. They were met at the train by Sharon's father, Freeman Blake, and Tana was instantly struck by how tall and handsome he was. He was a regal looking man, with a proud, beautifully carved, almost mahogany face, broad shoulders, and Sharon's same endlessly long legs. He had a warm smile, brilliantly white teeth, and he was quick to pull his daughter into his arms and hold her tight. He knew just how much she'd been through in the last year, and she'd come through it like a champ, just as he'd known she would, and he was desperately proud of her.

“Hi, baby, how's school?” She rolled her eyes, and turned quickly towards her friend.

“Tana, this is my dad, Freeman Blake. Daddy, this is Tana Roberts, my roommate at Green Hill.” He gave Tana's hand a powerful shake and she was magnetized by his eyes and the sound of his voice on the way home. He was filling Sharon in on all the local news, her mother's appointment to an even more important post, her brother Dick's big new romance, the remodeling of the house, the neighbor's new child, his new book. It was a warm friendly patter that touched Tana's heart, and she felt envious of the life that Sharon obviously had. And she felt it even more at dinner that night in the handsome colonial dining room. They had a beautiful house with a huge lawn and backyard, three cars in the garage, one of which was a Cadillac Freeman drove, despite the rude things his friends said. But he admitted that he had always wanted a Cadillac convertible and he had one now after all these years. They were obviously all four closely knit, and Tana found Miriam more than a little formidable. She was so intelligent and so direct that it took one's breath away, and she seemed to constantly expect the ultimate of everyone. One was never safe from her questions, her demands, and her ever-searching gaze.

“See what I mean?” Sharon said when they were alone upstairs. “It's like being on the witness stand, just having dinner with her.” She had wanted to know everything Sharon had done in the last two months, and she was interested in both the incident with Tom at the movie house, and the one at the coffee shop with Tana after that.

“It's just that she cares so much, Shar … about everything!”

“I know that. And it drives me nuts. Daddy is just as smart as she is for chrissake, and he's so much gentler about everything.” He was that, he told exquisite tales, made everyone laugh, and he had a way of making everyone comfortable, of bringing them closer together and forming an irresistible bond. Tana had noticed it all night long and she thought him the most remarkable man she had ever met.

“He's the most incredible man, Shar.”

“I know.”

“I read one of bis books last year. I'm going to go home now and read them all.”

“I'll give them to you.”

“Only if I can have an autographed set.” They both laughed, and a moment later, Miriam knocked at the door, anxious to know that they were all right.

“Do you have everything you need?” Tana smiled almost shyly at her.

“I do. Thank you very much, Mrs. Blake.”

“Not at all. We're so glad you could come.” The smile was even more dazzling than Shar's, and the eyes were driving, omniscient, almost frightening they plunged so deep and so hard. “How do you like Green Hill?”