Danielle Steel - Happy Birthday - A Novel

“Thanks for thinking about it, Mike,” April said quietly. “I’m sorry this is so hard, for both of us. It shouldn’t be like this.” No child deserved to come into the world with grief-stricken, devastated parents. At least she didn’t feel that way now. There were times when she was even excited about the baby, and she knew that when she finally saw it, she’d be happy. It seemed very obvious now that Mike wouldn’t. He was too frightened by it to ever enjoy it. But he was trying to be responsible, and she respected him for that.

“I’ll call you,” he said miserably, looked at her for another moment, and then hurried back down the stairs and vanished. He was gone by the time she walked back into the kitchen. She had no idea when she’d hear from him again. Maybe not until the baby was born, if then. She was certainly not going to pursue him. And if she never heard from him again, that was just the way it was. She wasn’t in love with him fortunately, he was “just” her baby’s father. It didn’t get much more serious than that.

She told her mother about his visit when they spoke that afternoon.

“At least he’s trying,” April said generously.

“He’s lucky you’re not suing him for support,” her mother reminded her. “Another woman would have.”

“Whatever. I’m not counting on him in any way. It might be easier if he’s not involved.” She had thought that from the beginning, and had only contacted him to be fair. She’d done her part now, and whatever he decided about it was up to him. She had no expectations or illusions about him.

For days after Mike had last seen April at the restaurant, he could hardly think straight and couldn’t concentrate on his work. He had reviews to write of three new restaurants, and he couldn’t think of a word to say. He didn’t remember the meals he’d eaten there, everything around him had become a blur. He was sitting, staring blankly at his computer at the newspaper, when his longtime friend Jim stopped at his desk and grinned at him. Mike hadn’t shaved all week, and he looked as discombobulated as he felt. His expression was a combination of desperation and grimness.

“It can’t be as bad as all that,” Jim said, leaning against Mike’s desk.

“Actually, it’s considerably worse.” He looked at Jim miserably. They had shared a cubicle at the paper for five years, and had been friends even before that. Mike considered him his best friend, and had been thinking about telling him about the horror that had happened to him, but he was still too upset to do even that. Talking about it would have made it seem all too real and irreversible.

“You look like the roof fell in.” Jim knew he wasn’t getting fired, their editor loved the reviews Mike wrote, and he hadn’t had a girlfriend in a while, so he hadn’t broken up with anyone. Jim couldn’t imagine what had happened to make him seem that upset.

“It did,” Mike confirmed with a desolate expression, as Jim sat on the corner of Mike’s desk attentively. “Last weekend.”

“Something happen to your parents?” Jim asked sympathetically. He knew Mike had had an unhappy relationship with them for years.

“Who knows? They never call me anymore, and I don’t call them either. The last time I did, my mother was so drunk she didn’t even know who I was. I figured they wouldn’t miss the calls.” Jim nodded. He had heard it before.

“So what gives?” Mike seemed unusually reluctant to spill the beans about whatever was bothering him. Most of the time the two men confided in each other about everything.

“I reviewed a restaurant over Labor Day weekend,” Mike began as Jim listened quietly. “I hated the food … well, actually that’s not true. I liked the food, but I thought the chef was underachieving with the menu. It was diner food, prepared by a first-rate chef who is capable of a hell of a lot better. I gave her a lousy review.” He looked mournful about it now.

“So she’s suing you?” Jim volunteered, and Mike shook his head.

“No. Not yet anyway. But in time, she could,” he said cryptically, and Jim smiled. If that’s what it was, he knew Mike had nothing to worry about. There were no grounds for a lawsuit in a bad restaurant review, if what he had essentially said was that he didn’t like the food.

“She can’t sue you for that. Hell, if that were true, you’d be sued three times a week.” Jim laughed.

“She could sue me for child support,” Mike said bluntly, as Jim’s face grew serious and he looked long and hard at his friend.

“Would you mind elaborating on that for me? I seem to have missed something here.” Now Jim looked worried too.

“So did I apparently, my self-restraint,” Mike confessed to him, and felt foolish as he did. “She had a terrific wine list, and I must have tried a half a dozen different wines. We got drunk together, and she’s a hell of a good-looking woman. I don’t remember exactly how or when it happened, but I know that eventually we wound up in bed, and what I do remember was pretty impressive. It would have been memorable, and I would have seen her again, except I decided to write the review I did anyway. I thoroughly dumped on her restaurant, so I thought it would have been tasteless to call her. I never heard from her either, until last week. She invited me back to the restaurant for dinner, as some sort of peace offering, I thought. It turns out that she asked me to dinner to tell me she’s pregnant.” Mike looked almost ill as he said it, and Jim looked stunned.

“And she wants money?” That much he could figure out, but the rest of what had happened was a little fuzzy.

“No, not a penny,” Mike said grimly. “Her mother is a well-known TV personality, and the restaurant is successful, in spite of what I wrote about it. She doesn’t want anything from me, nor did she ask me to participate in the decision. She has decided to have the baby, and all she wanted was to inform me.” Mike looked miserably at his friend, who was staring at him in consternation. “I’m screwed whatever I do in this. Either I stay away from her and the baby, and then I’m an asshole who is ruining some innocent kid’s life. Or I get involved, and then I’m up to my neck in a situation I would do damn near anything to avoid. I don’t want a child, ever. I promised myself years ago, after my own childhood, that I would never have children. And now this woman I don’t even know does this to me. I can’t goddamn believe it. And nothing is going to sway her. Believe me, I tried. She is absolutely determined to have this baby, and she doesn’t give a good goddamn if I participate or not. I think she’d almost prefer it if I didn’t.” And in some ways that was true. He could sense it in the way she had told him. She expected nothing from him, which somehow made the situation even harder for him. She was being so gracious about it that it made him look even worse for his violently negative reaction. It was visceral for him. He didn’t want the baby.

“Does she seem like a nice person?” Jim asked with interest. He was still stunned by what Mike had just told him.

“Maybe. I think so. All I can focus on is this baby she’s foisted on me.”

“If she’s not asking you for anything, it doesn’t sound like she’s doing much ‘foisting,’ ” Jim pointed out fairly.

“Not financially, but she’s sticking me with the responsibility of fatherhood for the rest of my life if she has this baby,” Mike said, looking angry about it again.

“Maybe that’s not the worst thing that could happen to you,” Jim said thoughtfully. He was two years older than Mike, had been happily married for fourteen years, and had three children he was crazy about. He had been telling Mike for years that he should find a nice woman, get married, and have children. Mike was always adamant when he said no. “Since she’s going to have the baby anyway, why don’t you spend some time with her and get to know her, and see how you feel about it then? It’s hard not to fall in love with your own children,” Jim pointed out to him. He had been there when each of his were born, it had been a life-changing event for him, but he had never had the resistance to having children that Mike very obviously did, and Jim loved his wife.