Danielle Steel - Happy Birthday - A Novel

“What if we loved each other and were married, and you died? Then what, should I kill the child then too because you wouldn’t be around?” She had a point, but he wouldn’t concede it. He was adamant on this subject, and had given up a woman he loved over just these arguments. She had had two abortions for him in five years and refused to have any more. She wanted kids, and he didn’t.

“That’s different and you know it,” Mike fumed at her, squirming in his seat. It had turned into a miserable evening. The lobster dinner hadn’t been worth it, and he never wanted to see her again. She was always plying him with something, with some ulterior motive and scheme, but as far as he was concerned, this was the worst of all. Feeding him exquisite food in order to tell him about the baby she was having that he didn’t want was far more serious than getting him drunk to get a good review.

“Mike, lots of people have only one parent. And these days, lots of women have babies without men. They go to sperm banks, they get gay men friends to donate sperm for them so they know who the father is, single gay men and women adopt babies. I’m not saying it’s ideal, but people alone have babies. Sometimes people who even love each other, if one of them dies or disappears. I saw this baby on the sonogram, its heart was beating, it looked like a baby, it’s going to be a baby one day, a person. I didn’t want to have a child either, it’s not in my scheme of things right now, and it won’t be easy for me. And you’re right, I don’t know who the hell you are, or if you’re a decent person. But I’m not going to kill this baby, my baby, our baby, because your parents were shitty to you. I’m sorry as hell about that, and those things shouldn’t happen, but sometimes they do. But now that it’s there and it happened, this baby has a right to live, so I’m giving it that opportunity, even if it’s not convenient for me. I’ll do the best possible job I can. And I have three parents and two sisters who will love it too.

“If you want to step up to the plate and be its father, terrific. And if you don’t, it’ll be okay too. This was an accident that happened to both of us. I’m trying to make the best of a tough situation, that’s all we can do.” She was being very sensible about it, but he shook his head miserably. He had had the same conversation with his previous girlfriend before her second abortion. He had managed to convince her, but he could see that April had made up her mind. He was screwed, or he felt that way at least.

“This is an accident that can be fixed, if you’ll be reasonable about it,” Mike said quietly but intensely, still hoping to deter her. “If you want kids, find some guy who wants them too. I’m not that person. I never will be. I don’t want children. I don’t want to be married, to anyone, April, and I don’t want this baby.” She didn’t want him either, but she was still going to have his child, and nothing would convince her otherwise. He could see it in her eyes.

“I wasn’t looking to have children,” she said clearly. “I’m not after you. I want nothing from you. But I’m going to have this child. Whether you want to be involved or not, or even see it, is up to you. I’ll let you know when the baby is born, and you can decide then.”

She could see that he was very angry with her, but more than that, he was scared. She had faced him with something he had done everything to avoid until now, even giving up a woman he had truly loved. He told her that she was already seeing someone else, and hoping to get married soon. She was thirty-four years old and felt she didn’t have time to waste if she wanted kids. Mike said he had been willing to let her go rather than do that with her. And now April had just sprung a baby on him that was already in the works. It was just too cruel, as far as he was concerned.

He stood up finally, still looking furious. “Thanks for dinner,” he said coldly. “I’m not sure it was worth it, given the acute indigestion at the end of the meal. I’ll call you when I figure out what I want to do about this.”

“There’s no rush,” she said quietly, standing up and facing him. She was beautiful, but he didn’t care about that now. All he could think about was what she had just told him. “The baby’s not due till June. Thanks for coming to dinner. I’m sorry it’s such bad news for you.” He nodded and said nothing, and walked out of the restaurant with his head down, without ever looking back at her. The waiters and sommelier could see that they’d had an argument, and they knew who he was, the critic who had given them the bad review three months before. It was obvious that he wasn’t going to be giving her a good one anytime soon.

Chapter 7

April told both her parents about her meeting with Mike Steinman the next day. Valerie was sorry to hear about it, and her father was furious. He thought Mike could have done a lot better than that.

“He doesn’t want kids, Dad,” April said calmly, although she was upset about it too, but there was nothing she could do. “He broke up with a woman he was crazy about rather than have children with her.” She was trying to be reasonable about it, although she had found Mike’s position both harsh and extreme, just like his review. It was apparently who he was. And it was not a trait in him she liked, despite his obvious brains and good looks. He had apparently been severely mistreated as a child. She felt sorry for him, but she thought it was a poor excuse for the way he was behaving now.

“You didn’t want a child either,” her father reminded her, “but you’re making the best of it. Why can’t he?” He had a point.

“He doesn’t want to, Dad. Don’t worry. I’ll be okay.”

“I think he’s a total jerk.”

“He has a right to be upset,” she said quietly. She was being adult about it, or trying to, but she’d shed tears over it the previous night. Mike had been pretty nasty.

And she was utterly stunned when he walked into the restaurant kitchen the next day after the last lunch customer had left. April was in the kitchen, discussing new wine purchases with Jean-Pierre, the sommelier. He disappeared as soon as Mike walked in. He looked stormy, but calmer than he had on Saturday night when he left. It made the sommelier wonder what was going on between them. This looked more personal than business.

“Can I talk to you for a minute?” Mike said tersely. He looked like he hadn’t slept in two days, and he hadn’t shaved. He looked utterly tormented and deeply unhappy, but less angry at her.

“Sure,” she said calmly, and led him upstairs to her office. She pointed to a chair, but he didn’t sit down. Everything in her office was ancient, ugly, battered, and had been secondhand, in order to save money.

He stood looking at April intently. “Look, I’m sorry I got so upset the other night, and was so tough on you. I just didn’t expect this to happen. It’s my worst nightmare come true. I respect what you’re trying to do, and that you’re stepping up to the plate. And I’m sorry I’m not doing the same. I wish this had never happened to either of us. I don’t want a kid, but I also don’t want to be someone who deserts a child and creates even more problems. I wish you’d have an abortion, but if you won’t, I need to consider this. Give me some time to think, and I’ll get in touch with you. That’s the best I can do for now.” She looked at him and appreciated that he was at least wrestling with it, she could see how hard it was for him. He wasn’t an asshole or a bad guy probably, he was someone who had been very badly hurt, didn’t want to hurt anyone else, and just didn’t want to have children. He looked as though he rued the day he had come to the restaurant at all.