Danielle Steel - Heartbeat

“The baby?” He felt totally confused and like a complete fool.

“Of course,” the doctor went on, assuming he was in shock and having trouble remembering anything after almost losing his son, and still being in danger of losing his pregnant wife. “She must be, what …four, four and a half months pregnant?”

“I …of course …I …I'm just so upset, I …”It was insanity, why was he pretending she was his wife? And why did he feel like this? Why did he actually feel as though she were his wife and this were his baby? And why in God's name hadn't she told him? He felt as though he had had yet another shock, as the doctor asked him to stay where he was. He was going back to check on Adrian again and he would report to Bill the moment there was any change in the situation.

He sat there alone for a long time, trying to absorb what had happened and what he had just heard, and for a long moment, he just couldn't. It was impossible to understand what had gone on, except suddenly little pieces of the puzzle began to fit into place …her enormous appetite …the fact that she looked as though she had gained a little weight since he first met her …but far more importantly, Steven's leaving her …but why, if she was having a baby? He had to be some kind of son of a bitch, Bill thought to himself. And that was also why she kept thinking he might be coming back, and why she still wore her wedding ring probably …and it was why she was loath to get into a relationship with him. Suddenly, it all made sense.Except now she might lose the baby. Four and a half months was serious …and she might die herself, which was a great deal more so. He felt as though his heart had just been torn out, as another doctor came slowly toward him. He looked ominous as Bill stared up at him, afraid of what he was going to tell him.

“We've done everything we can for her. She's breathing on her own, she's had a unit of blood. The concussion is severe but not necessarily fatal, there's no fracture of her skull …but we're just going to have to wait. She's still unconscious.” And Bill knew that she could just slip into a coma and die. Those things happened sometimes. “There's no reason to expect permanent damage from this, if she survives. But the big question is, will she? We just don't have the answer to that yet.”

“And the baby?” He felt a responsibility for the baby now too. For both of them. He wanted them both to live. He wanted both of them … or just her …anything …but please don't let them die…. He looked at the doctor, waiting to hear the answer to his question.

“The pregnancy is still viable. We have a monitor on her, and so far everything looks fine. We're still getting a fetal heartbeat.”

“Thank God.” Bill stood, waiting for more. But there was nothing more. Only time would tell what would happen. “May I see her?”

“Of course. We're going to leave her where she is, until we see what happens. She's still in an emergency unit. We'll move her to ICU later, if she improves.” It was difficult to believe. A few hours earlier she'd been making bacon and eggs, and now suddenly she was on the brink of death, after saving Tommy.

“Is my boy all right?”

“I haven't seen him myself. But the last I heard, he and his brother were having lunch in the pediatric ward.” He smiled at Bill. “I'd say he's going to be okay. He's a lucky boy. I understand that only her quick thinking and heroic maneuvers saved him. She's a very slight woman, it's amazing she was able to hold him up like that. She must have gashed her arm somehow in the process …” and hit her head …and almost drowned …and almost lost her baby …and she hadn't hesitated for an instant, even knowing that she was pregnant. He owed her everything. If she lived long enough for him to repay it.

He walked into the special emergency unit then, and sat down next to her. There seemed to be machines hooked to every part of her, and the oxygen mask obscured part of her face, but he gently took her hand in his own and kissed her fingers. The knuckles were cut and bruised, and there was still earth underneath her fingernails. She must have struggled ferociously to save him.

“Adrian …”he whispered to her still form. “Hove you, sweetheart. I loved you the first time I ever saw you.” He had decided that if he never got a chance to say it to her, he was going to say it all to her now, whether she heard him or not, and maybe she would hear him and it would make a difference. “I loved you right away, that first night in the supermarket, when I almost ran you down … do you remember that?” He smiled as tears ran down his face and he kissed her fingers again. “And I loved you the next time …when I saw you in the parking lot at the complex. Do you remember that? I think it was a Sunday morning …and at the pool at the apartment … I love you … I love everything about you …and the boys love you too …Adam and Tommy. They want you to get better too.” He just went on talking to her, in his strong, gentle voice, and holding her hand carefully in his own. “And I love the baby too …that's right …and if you want that baby, so do I …I want you and the baby, Adrian. Both of you …and the baby is going to be just fine …the doctor said so.” He watched her face then, he thought he had seen her wince, but when he looked more closely, he thought he had imagined it. She seemed as expressionless as ever. He went on talking to her for a long time, crooning her name, and telling her how much he loved her and the baby. He rested his hand on the baby then, and felt the small lump that he had never noticed before, that she had never told him about, and he told the baby that he loved it, and that it had better stick around, or it was going to make a lot of people very unhappy. “That's right …you don't think your mom has gone through all this in order to have you bail out now, do you? So settle down and take it easy … right, Adrian? You tell the baby to relax. …” And then he kissed her gently on the cheek and talked to her some more, as one of the nurses watched him from the doorway. She had never seen anyone so distraught, and she had never heard anyone talk to a woman like that. As she listened, she thought Adrian was awfully lucky to have a man love her the way he did. And as she watched, she saw something on the monitors that caught her attention. She frowned and walked into the room, and as she approached, Adrian turned toward Bill and opened her eyes and then closed them. For an instant of sheer terror, he thought she had just died, and he let out an almost animal sound of grief, as he stood up and looked down at her again in anguish. But as he did, she opened her eyes again, and the nurse checked her vital signs and smiled down at her, and Bill smiled at her as he was crying. He couldn't speak anymore. She had taken his breath away, and he was so moved, he had started to tremble.

“You're a very lucky girl,” the nurse said to her. “Your little boy is fine. I just gave him a Popsicle.” She glanced at Bill encouragingly. “And your husband has been right here talking to you ever since you got here.” And then she remembered as she glanced at the fetal monitor and back at Adrian again. “And your baby is fine too. Looks like everybody is going to be all right now. How are you feeling, Mrs. Thigpen?”

She fought to pull off the oxygen mask, and the nurse helped her to lift it. “Not so good,” she croaked. They had pumped the water from her stomach and now she was hoarse and she felt desperately nauseated and viciously battered. The last thing she remembered was slipping into a soft warm place, when she had gotten the final blow on her head from a rock and started drowning.

“I'll bet you don't feel so good.” The nurse smiled at her, and propped her head up a little bit. “You had quite a fight with a rock, and a whole lot of water. But they tell me you ran a race. You saved your little boy. You did!” She smiled at her, and Bill finally caught his breath, and looked at Adrian gratefully through his tears, still holding her hand tightly.