Danielle Steel - Heartbeat

“You're doing it again,” he whispered as they sat by the campfire that night, after a delicious dinner. The boys had sung songs until they fell asleep, and they were both in Bill's tent, but Tommy swore he was sleeping with Adrian the next night.

“Doing what?” she mused, sitting close to him and staring into the fire with a distant look. It had been a lovely evening.

“Thinking about something much too serious. Every now and then your eyes get sad. I wish you'd tell me what's bothering you.” It upset him that she shut him out at times, yet most of the time they had never been closer.

“Nothing's bothering me.” But she wasn't convincing and he wasn't convinced.

“I wish I believed you.”

“I've never been happier.” She looked him in the eye and he believed her, and yet he knew she was also preoccupied about something. She was worrying about the baby. How she would take care of it. What it would be like being all alone with it …giving birth with no one there to support her. As the baby grew, it became more real to her, and she was beginning to get worried. And she was afraid of losing Bill, and yet she knew she had to. It was inevitable once he knew, if not sooner. And suddenly, as she thought of all that, there were tears in her eyes, and Bill saw it, and without saying a word to her, he pulled her into his arms and held her.

“I'm right here for you, Adrian …I'm right here., for as long as you need me.”

“Why are you so good to me?” she said through her tears. “I don't deserve this.”

“Stop saying that.”

She felt so guilty toward him. It wasn't fair misleading him and not telling him about the baby, and yet she couldn't. What could she tell him? That she was here on a camping trip with him and his children, and she was falling in love with him, and yet she was pregnant with Steven's baby? How could she? And then suddenly she was laughing through her tears at the absurdity of it all. It was a ridiculous situation.

“Where were you a few years ago anyway?” She laughed and he smiled in answer to her question.

“Making a fool of myself as usual. But better late than never.” The trouble was that he was too late.

She nodded, and they sat that way for a long time, holding each other, and looking into the fire, but this time he didn't kiss her. He wanted to, but he didn't want to upset her.

He suggested they go to bed finally, and helped her into her tent, and then got into his sleeping bag in his, and a minute later he heard a noise, and she was standing next to him, looking worried.

“What's wrong? Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” she whispered nervously, “I heard a noise over there.” She pointed into the distance outside his tent. “Did you hear it?”

He shook his head, he had already been half asleep when she woke him. “No, it's nothing. Coyotes maybe.”

“Do you think it could be a bear?”

He grinned at her, wanting to tell her it was ten of them and she'd better get in his sleeping bag to stay safe, but he didn't. “I don't think so. And the bears around here are pretty tame,” despite an occasional disaster, but usually then the bears were teased, they seldom if ever attacked unprovoked, and she wasn't provoking anyone but him, standing there in her blue jeans and his sweater. “Do you want to sleep in here with us? It'll be a tight fit, but the boys will love it.” She nodded, looking like a kid, and he smiled at her as she settled down in her own sleeping bag next to him, and she fell asleep, holding tightly to his hand as he lay next to her, and watched her.

THE FOUR OF THEM WOKE UP IN THE TENT TOGETHER the next day, and Tommy immediately took advantage of the situation to pounce on his father. He tickled him mercilessly, and then Adam and Bill turned the tables on Tommy. Adrian had to come to his rescue then, so Bill tickled her, while Adam assisted, and within moments they were a wild tangle of arms and legs and feet and squeals and hands that were tickling anything, anywhere on anyone, until Adrian finally begged them to stop, laughing so hard, she split the zipper on her blue jeans. Fortunately, she knew she had another pair, so she didn't panic. But she was laughing so hard, she could hardly walk, and so were the others as they all stumbled out into the sunshine. It was a nice way to wake up, and it was certainly a lot better than waking up in the empty silence of her now unfurnished apartment.

“How come you slept with us last night?” Adam asked as he stretched in the sunshine.

“She was afraid of being eaten by a bear,” Bill explained matter-of-factly.

“I was not.” She tried to cover up as he hooted and the kids grinned.

“You were too! Who showed up in our tent after we were all asleep and said she heard noises?”

“I thought you said it was coyotes.”

“I did.”

“All right, then, I was afraid of being eaten by a coyote.” She laughed and they laughed with her, and as she organized breakfast with Adam's help, Bill announced plans to take everyone fishing right after breakfast.

“And we can eat whatever we catch for dinner tonight.”

“Great. Who's cleaning?” Adam was quick to ask. He knew that game from previous camping trips with his father. He usually wound up cleaning the fish even when his father did have a girlfriend along, because they were always too squeamish.

“I'll tell you what,” Bill suggested as Adrian lit the fire. “We each clean our own. Is that fair?”

“Perfectly,” Adrian agreed with a broad grin, “because I've never caught anything in my life. I'll have a hot dog.”

“No fair!” Adam complained, sniffing at the bacon she was cooking.

“Can we have corn bread?” Tommy inquired, it was one of his favorite things about camping. That and sharing a sleeping bag with his father. It was like sleeping with a big teddy bear who cuddled all night and kept you warm and toasty.

“I'll cook some tonight,” Bill promised, looking up at the sky. It was a gorgeous day, and all was right with the world. He looked at Adrian over the boys' heads, and smiled at her, and she felt her heart turn to mush inside her.

“Why don't we go swimming today?'' Adrian suggested as she fried her eggs. It was almost warm enough already, and in another hour it would be. It was freezing in the lake, but there was a lively river that ran a little distance behind where they were camping. They had seen it the day before, and there was a cascade of water running out of the mountains that made a sizable current to raft on.

“Let's go fishing first.” It was Bill's suggestion, as she served him his breakfast and then served the children. But they agreed with Adrian, they wanted to go swimming, and fishing later.

“All right, all right. We'll go swimming, and then I'll buy the bait. And after lunch, we can get down to serious business. And whoever doesn't catch a fish will starve.” He growled at them and they all laughed, as Adrian looked at him primly.

“Just don't forget my hot dog.”

“Oh, no. You too. And don't tell me you're afraid of water.” He was teasing her because she hadn't gone gliding or up in the balloon in the Napa Valley. But that was because of the baby, just like the horses she had avoided in Santa Barbara. The only thing was, he didn't know it.

“I am not afraid of water.” She looked highly insulted at the suggestion, as she finished her eggs. She had just eaten yet another mammoth breakfast. But the mountain air made her ravenously hungry. “I was captain of the swimming team at Stanford, thank you very much. And I was a lifeguard for two summers.”

“Can you dive real good?” Tommy inquired, highly impressed by her credentials.