Danielle Steel - Hotel Vendome

“Not for six months,” she said practically, “and I don’t want to live alone. I’m twenty years old, Papa, or I will be by then, or almost. people do that these days. It makes a lot of sense.”

“To whom?” he asked, looking annoyed. “I would pay for an apartment for you. You don’t have to live with him.”

“I want to,” she said, smiling at him.

“What if I did something like that?” he asked her bluntly, trying to open the door he’d been attempting to open for six months.

“Don’t be silly. You wouldn’t live with someone. And if you did, I wouldn’t like it. That’s not respectable at your age. I’m just a student. It’s not the same thing.”

“Why not? What if I fell in love?” he said, trying to introduce the hypothetical before the real to test the waters and see what she’d say.

“I’d probably have a fit and have to kill her,” she said with a smile as his heart sank. “You belong to me,” she said without hesitating for a beat, with the confidence that came from a father who had never loved anyone but her and she liked it that way and wasn’t afraid to say so.

“I could belong to you and a woman I love, other than you, like a partner of some kind.” He was skirting all around it but didn’t have the guts to spit it out, particularly given her responses to him. She looked totally unembarrassed to be so blunt.

“No, you couldn’t,” she said, drinking lemon soda through a straw. “I wouldn’t let you. Besides, she’d probably be after your money, or mess everything up at the hotel. You don’t need a woman, Papa, you have me.” She beamed at him and sat back in her chair, and he didn’t have the heart to ruin the rest of the week, telling her he was in love with Natalie. A week, or even two, never seemed like enough time to deliver that kind of news, especially given her resistance, which was openly declared. He knew from the way she was looking at him that he was going to be no braver at Easter than he had been at Christmas. How could he ruin the week with her, when he only saw her once every three or four months? He couldn’t risk it. She meant too much to him. And if he lost her, Natalie would never be enough. He wanted them both in his life, not either or.

“Tell me about your internship and what it entails,” he said, looking somber, and she seemed oblivious to the sad look in his eyes. He knew that he had already failed Natalie and broken his promise to her, and the trip had just begun. He’d have to explain it to her when he went home, if he even could. He hoped she’d be reasonable about it. He was beginning to wonder if it would be smarter not to tell Heloise anything about Natalie at all until she came home for good in December. If he told her before that, she might decide to stay in France. There was no telling how betrayed she would feel, or how angry, no way to measure the vehemence of her reaction until the words had been said and the news delivered. She was the only child he had, the love of his life, and he wasn’t willing to take the chance. It was cowardly perhaps, but he didn’t want to lose his child. He loved Natalie very much, but even she wasn’t worth that to him.

For the rest of the trip, they went to museums and churches and had delicious dinners, mostly small, informal restaurants in Trastevere, on the other side of the Tiber River. They received the papal blessing on Easter morning, went to the Colosseum, and had a wonderful time together as father and daughter. She spent an enormous amount of time talking on her cell phone to Francois and texted him everywhere they went, but in spite of that, Hugues couldn’t bring himself to tell her that there was a woman in New York that he was in love with and spending time with, and that there was room for both of them in his life. By the time they got back to Lausanne a week after they’d arrived in Rome, she still knew nothing about Natalie’s importance in his life. Francois was waiting for her at the school when they returned, and she beamed the moment she saw him, and Francois kissed her. It angered Hugues that she was allowed to have that intimacy and he wasn’t, but the one he was angry at was himself for being too cowardly to tell her, and unwilling to take the chance that she’d be furious with him. Natalie said she’d get over it. But what if she didn’t?

He took Heloise and Francois to dinner on the last night, at La Grappe d’Or on rue Cheneau-de-Bourg. It was the best restaurant in Lausanne. And Francois was a nice boy, although a little full of himself because his parents owned a well-known hotel and he thought he knew everything there was to know about the business. But he wasn’t a bad kid, and Heloise looked besotted with him. With any luck at all, she’d be ready to leave him by the end of the year. And in the meantime Hugues realized that he and Natalie would have to continue to be discreet for as long as it took. Maybe in a few months Heloise would be ready to hear it and would have matured. He hoped so, but now he had to go back to New York and tell Natalie he had broken his promise, and Heloise still didn’t know.

He hugged her tight when he left her that night, and the next morning he took the early flight back to New York, which arrived at Kennedy at nine A.M. local time, so he could get to work. He had spoken to Natalie several times while he was gone. She didn’t want to push him, so she hadn’t asked if he had told Heloise yet, and now he had to tell her that he hadn’t. He felt as though his heart were dragging on the runway when they landed, and now he had to face her.

He was in his office by ten-thirty and tackled his desk first. He took a quick walk around the hotel to see that everything was in order, and he was heading back to his office when one of the concierges mentioned that Natalie was upstairs installing another painting in one of the suites. He thanked him and took the elevator to the seventh floor and let himself into the suite. She was alone, wrestling with a big painting. She got it on the hook with a grunt of victory as he walked into the room, and she turned to smile at him, and he strode across the room to hug her. He held her tight and closed his eyes, wishing he hadn’t failed her, but he felt he had no other choice.

“You’re back!” She looked thrilled to see him, and he kissed her with all the tenderness of apology and regret of a man who knew he had betrayed her. She pulled away to look at him. She could feel in the way he held her that something was wrong. “What happened?” She looked worried, and he blurted it out immediately. He didn’t want to lie to her too.

“I didn’t tell her. I couldn’t. She said some things in Rome on the first day that told me it would be a huge deal to her. I was afraid she wouldn‘t come back here if I told her. I’m sorry. I wanted to, Natalie, but I just couldn’t.” There was a pounding silence in the room after he said it, and she looked angry for an instant and then sad, and then she nodded. She was a sensible woman. She loved him and didn’t want to lose him either, just as he was afraid to lose his daughter.

“Okay.” Her shoulders were drooping then, and so were his. They both felt defeated. For now Heloise had them on the run without even knowing it. “It’ll happen sooner or later. It can’t stay a secret forever.” Their relationship was good and kept getting better, except for this one issue, which was a big one. His loyalties were divided between her and his daughter, and sooner or later he’d have to make it clear to everyone that he could handle both. “Did you have fun?” she asked him generously, and he loved her more than ever, for how kind and reasonable she was and loving to him.

“I did.” He pulled her close to him. “But I missed you.” Not being able to talk about her had made the longing worse. And all he wanted to do now was hold her and kiss her and caress her and make love to her, and make up to her for what he hadn’t done and said he would. He was starving for her as he put the Do Not Disturb sign on the door of the empty suite and the chain on, and pulled her into the bedroom with him. Their clothes were off instantly, and she was just as hungry for him. She had worried about what would happen all week, and now she no longer cared. She just wanted to be with him again, and whether or not his daughter knew no longer mattered. All they cared about as they made love was how much they loved each other, and everything else disappeared. And by the time it was over, she had forgiven him for not telling Heloise. They were both breathless as they lay there, and he smiled at her and pulled her back into his arms. If anything, he loved her even more.