Danielle Steel - Remembrance

“I can't let you do that. I have enough as things are. One day I know that Teddy has provided for me. I make enough money from my photography. It's just that—” She looked embarrassed. “It's not fancy.”

“She doesn't need fancy. She needs you. Vanessa, please.” His eyes pleaded with her. “Take her.”

Vanessa looked at him then. “I want to ask her first. That seems only fair.” He looked doubtful, but finally he agreed.

And that afternoon when she came home from school, Vanessa quietly put the question to her. She seemed shocked for a moment. “He wants me to leave?”

“I think so.” Vanessa looked at her sadly. “But I won't take you if you don't want to go. You can stay in Athens with him if you want to.” He couldn't force her to take the girl away, after all. And she could always come back for Charlie later.

“No.” She shook her head. She knew Andreas better than Vanessa. “He'll send me to Paris or somewhere. He doesn't want me here in the end.” They had talked about it for two years. And then slowly she nodded at Vanessa. “I want to come with you.” Vanessa said nothing more, she only took the girl in her arms and held her. All the mothering that she had thought she would never have had come out and was pouring forth for this child, who looked so much like her mother. It was like returning something she had been given a long time before. They had come full circle.

They told Andreas that night that Charlotte had agreed, and he said that he would have his lawyers arrange for transfers of funds and whatever else would be needed. His secretary would see about schools in New York. He thought that a Catholic school run by nuns would be a good choice, and Charlie was not overly delighted about it. She wanted to go to something “free thinking and American,” not more nuns, which was where she went to school in Athens. But she was so delighted at the prospect of going back to the States that it eclipsed all her complaints about the school. But on the whole the atmosphere in the house for the next two weeks was bittersweet, all of the excitement was tempered with sorrow.

Three days before they were to leave, Vanessa called Teddy and Linda and told them that she was bringing Charlotte. She had written them long letters about how it had been and how happy she was in Athens. And she told them how marvelous Andreas had been, but she didn't tell them that she had had an affair with him. She felt private about that, and Linda had sensed that there was something she wasn't telling.

“Will you meet our plane?” Vanessa sounded tired but not totally unhappy. She had explained about Andreas's illness and they understood only too well how hard it was on her. But they couldn't know fully how hard it had hit her. They didn't know how much she loved him.

“Of course we'll meet the plane.” Teddy sounded ecstatic. “We'll even bring the baby.” And then he had a thought. “Do you want me to call John Henry?”

“No.” Her answer was instant.

“Sorry.”

“That's all right. Don't worry about it. I'll call him when I get back.” But she sounded vague.

“He's called here a couple of times, wondering if we had news. I think he was worried.”

“I know.” She had only sent him two postcards in the beginning of her trip, and nothing at all since she had reached Athens. But she couldn't write to him. She couldn't concentrate on them both. She had become totally involved with Andreas. “I'll take care of it.” But Teddy suspected that it was over and told Linda so when he hung up the phone.

“I think she's still not ready.”

“Maybe not.” Linda looked worried but had to go look after the baby.

And in Athens the preparations went on, until at last the valises were packed. Several boxes had been filled with things to ship, like Charlotte's stereo. Andreas had told her once that she could come home in five months for Easter, but very little was said about that. In the past few days it had become apparent that his cancer was moving very quickly.

The night before they left, Vanessa sat next to Charlie's bed and told her about her life in New York, Teddy and Linda, the baby. “Don't you have a boyfriend?” Vanessa shook her head, and she looked disappointed. “Why not?”

“I just don't. I have friends.” She thought of John Henry and felt a little shiver of guilt. She owed it to him, in a way, that she had come to Athens. He had made her promise to do it. “And there is one nice man I see.”

“What's his name?”

“John Henry.”

“Will I like him? Is he handsome?” She looked suddenly very much sixteen as she snuggled in her bed and Vanessa smiled at her.

“He's sort of handsome, I guess. And I think you'll like him.”

“I'm going to find a boyfriend.” She said it with determination, and Vanessa grinned and stood up.

“Well, first get some sleep.” They had said very little about Andreas. It seemed odd to Vanessa, but Charlie seemed as though she had made her peace with the situation. There was something fatalistic about her, as though she were wise well beyond her years. Andreas had prepared her well. “Sleep tight. I'll see you in the morning.”

“Good night.” And then as Vanessa stood in the doorway, “Are you going to Andreas?” Did she know? Vanessa looked stunned.

“Why?” She stood very still.

“I just wondered. He loves you, you know.”

And then Vanessa had to say it. “I love him too. Very much.”

“Good.” Charlie didn't seem disturbed. “Then we will love him together.” It was as though, as he had said, they would be taking him with them on the morrow.

Vanessa gently closed the door and went down the hall to Andreas, where they spent the night in his bed, holding each other tight, and at last he slept soundly in her arms. She knew at that moment that for the rest of her life she would take him with her.

57

Their parting was brief, heroic, and brutally painful. Charlotte clenched her teeth, held him close, and stood back for a moment, looking at him.

“I love you, Andreas.”

“I love you too.” And then, “Good-bye.”

With Vanessa it took a moment longer. He reached out and held her to him, felt her warmth against him for a moment, and then set her free. “Take what you learned and use it well, my darling. I give you two gifts, that of my heart and that of courage.” He said it so softly that no one could hear him, and when he stepped back, he pressed a small box in her hand. His eyes insisted that she take it. And then suddenly they were being rushed onto the plane and he was gone and she and Charlie were both crying. They boarded the plane with their arms around each other, and it wasn't until after they took off that they felt like talking. Charlie was subdued, and Vanessa looked at her, thinking that she looked absolutely splendid. She was the prettiest girl Vanessa had ever seen, and she had noticed a number of heads turn as they had taken their seats. It was the combination of the ivory skin, the emerald eyes, and the sheet of black satin hair. It was a dazzling combination.

It wasn't until later that Vanessa opened the small package Andreas had given her. A thin gold chain fell into her hand, and at the end of it a starkly beautiful single diamond in a setting that made it look like a star, and as she hung it around her neck she understood its meaning. It was their falling star. As she touched it with her fingers she felt her eyes fill with tears again. She had only known him for six weeks, but it seemed like a lifetime.

The plane landed in London an hour and a half later, and they had to change planes, and discovered that they had to wait for two hours until they could board the plane to New York.