Danielle Steel - Remembrance

“Come on, push!” they all shouted at once as Linda's face grew red and she groaned with the effort. It seemed to take forever, but finally the doctor grinned and held up a hand to announce, “The baby's crowning … come on, Linda … come on … I can see hair! … Come on, push!” Linda tried again and the baby moved another inch, the top of his head was almost out now, and Teddy could feel tears sting his eyes when he looked in the mirror. At forty-seven years of age he was having his first baby and he had never loved a woman as much in his life as he loved Linda at that moment.

“Come on, sweetheart … come on, you can do it … oh … that's it … come on … more!” She was pushing as though she would burst and suddenly with a gasp and a groan the head came free all at once and the room was filled with a hearty wail. The doctor grinned, the nurses laughed, and Linda and Teddy began to cry at once, smiling and laughing along with them.

“Oh, what is it?” Linda struggled to see, and when Teddy held her up, she could see the baby's face, angry and red and scrunched up as it cried.

“We can't tell yet.” The doctor smiled broadly. “Give us a few more pushes and I'll tell you what it is.”

“That's not fair,” Linda gasped, smiling at her husband. “God ought to put their sex organs on their heads, so you can tell … right away.…” But she was already working again. Two more pushes and the doctor freed his shoulders, and then, with one enormous final push, the baby was born and he lay in the doctor's hands.

“It's a boy!” he cried triumphantly. “A great big beautiful boy!” Linda's and Teddy's eyes filled with tears as they looked at him. Linda laughed and reached up to kiss her husband, and he smoothed back her hair and looked down at her with unlimited adoration.

“You're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen.”

“Oh, Teddy …” She smiled through her tears. “I love you.”

“I love you too. Oh, look at him.…” He couldn't get over it, the baby was perfect.

“Eight pounds, twelve ounces. Good work, Mrs. Fullerton.” The doctor looked pleased as he handed the baby to his father.

“And you thought it was going to be twins.” Teddy grinned and looked into his son's face, held him for a moment, and then gave him to his mother. “Here's your boy, Mom.” Their eyes filled with tears again as she held him.

It was a night filled with jubilation and excitement. When they got back to Linda's room, she was so high she could almost fly. She got out of bed and walked down the hall to see her son in the nursery window, and she stood holding on to her husband's arm, and they both looked like the proudest parents alive.

“Isn't he beautiful, Teddy?”

“He sure is.” Teddy couldn't take his eyes off his son. “What'll we call him?”

She looked at Teddy with a smile. “I kind of thought we could call him Bradford, for your brother.” As she said it Teddy felt a lump in his throat, and he reached out and held her and said nothing.

That night a bond had formed between them that he knew that nothing would sever. They had waited half their lives to find each other, and he had thought he would never get over Serena. But Serena had been a dream for him, an unattainable woman he had always loved, and who had never really been his. She had belonged to Brad and then to Vasili, and never really to him. She had loved him, but she had never belonged to him. This woman who had just borne him a son was now his, and he knew it, just as he was hers and would never belong to anyone else again. And as they walked slowly down the hall, back to Linda's room, it was as though the ghost of Serena di San Tibaldo quietly tiptoed away for the last time.

52

“A boy? Hurray! Oh, Teddy, that's super!” Teddy called Vanessa at eleven thirty that night, and she was ecstatic. “Oh, that's beautiful!” And then with a worried voice, “How was it for Linda? Was it hard?” Vanessa had always had nervous feelings about giving birth, and she always said that she never wanted to have children. When the time came, she would adopt. It was something that she and John Henry agreed on. Next time he wanted to know what he was getting. He couldn't imagine going through the agony of a birth-deformed baby again, and the horror of waiting for nine months to know that it was normal terrified him. Yet, like Vanessa, he wanted children.

But Teddy sounded jubilant as he reported. “No, she was just terrific. You've never seen anyone go through it better. And she looked just beautiful.” He almost cried again. “Wait until you see the baby!”

“I can't wait to see him. What's his name?”

“Bradford, for your father. It was Linda's idea. We'll call him Brad, I guess.”

At her end Vanessa smiled. “You've got yourself one terrific lady, Teddy.”

“I know.” He sounded as though he could barely believe his good fortune. “She was so great, Vanessa. You should have seen her!”

“I'll see her tomorrow, first thing.”

“Good. Why don't you bring your friend John Henry? Maybe he'd like to see the baby too.” Teddy was curious about him, and he was dying to show off the baby. Vanessa understood and chuckled at him.

“I'll see if he's free.” But she knew that he wouldn't be able to go. There were some things that still upset him, and going to a hospital to see a newborn was one of them. He had already told her that he wouldn't do it. He had told her that he'd see the baby later, at home. And she understood. “I'll probably come alone, Teddy. I don't want to share the baby with anybody anyway, not even with you!” He had laughed, but when she arrived the next morning at the hospital to see them, she looked very pale as she got off the elevator on the maternity floor.

As Teddy watched her get off the elevator, she seemed disoriented. He started to walk toward her with a smile, but then he stopped. She looked almost gray. He wanted to say something to Linda, but there wasn't time. Vanessa stood next to him in a moment, her eyes very big and gray, and she looked frightened.

“You okay, sweetheart?”

She nodded. “Yeah, but I think I have a headache or something. I worked in the darkroom late last night, and I think that did it.” She smiled but it didn't look real, and then she forced herself to look more cheerful still. “Where's my nephew? I'm dying to see him.”

“In his mother's room.” Teddy looked at her with a smile, but he was still worried as he followed her inside. Linda was sitting on the bed, nursing the baby. Vanessa stopped for a moment, she had snuck in her camera, and clicked several frames, before she put the camera down again and came toward them. There was something terribly serious in her face as she looked at Linda, and then without saying a word, her eyes went to the baby. She couldn't take her eyes off of him. She just stood there staring, her eyes big, her face pale, and her hands trembling.

“Do you want to hold him?” She heard Linda's voice as though from very far away, and without saying a word she nodded and reached out and Linda gave him to her. She sat down in a chair with a look of awe, holding the tiny bundle. The baby had gone back to sleep at his mother's breast, and now he lay round and content in Vanessa's arms as she looked down at him. She said nothing for long moments, as Teddy and Linda exchanged a smile, then suddenly Linda looked at Vanessa. There were tears running down Vanessa's face in steady streams, and a look of pain on her face that tore at Teddy. But before he could say anything at all, Vanessa had begun to speak softly.