Danielle Steel - Remembrance

By spring Teddy and Linda saw each other almost every night, and Vanessa had begun to tease them. Linda was becoming a regular visitor at the apartment, and Vanessa teased that if she was going to hang around as much as she was, she was going to have to start taking a shift for breakfast. It was also beginning to occur to Vanessa that she needed her own apartment. She didn't want to hurt Teddy's feelings, but she was twenty-three years old, she wanted to combine a studio with living quarters of her own, and it was obvious that he was crazy about Linda Evans.

“Why the hell don't you ask her to marry you, Teddy?”

“Don't be crazy!” he growled at her over one of her breakfasts. “Besides, your eggs were lousy today.” But the thought of marriage had already crossed his mind and he didn't want to tell her.

“That's it!” She pounded a hand on the table and he jumped. “I'm moving out!”

“Will you stop that!” She was making him very nervous, but suddenly he saw something gentle and sad in her eyes. She had been teasing at first but now she meant what she was saying and he knew it.

“I kind of mean it, Uncle Teddy.” She looked just like a little girl as she said it, and he felt his insides turn over.

“Why?” He looked very upset. “Because of Linda? I thought you liked her.” He looked so disappointed that she hugged him.

“I do, silly. I'm just turning into a big kid now, and I want to get a studio to work in, and … well… a place of my own.” It felt like such a betrayal, she felt like a monster.

“Have you started looking yet.'“

“No, I thought I'd start in the next few weeks.”

“Already?” He looked pale, and then retreated behind his paper, and when he left for his office, he looked shaken. He called Linda half an hour later. “Vanessa wants to move out.” He sounded as though his wife had said she was divorcing him, and at her end of the phone Linda grinned, but when she spoke to him, her voice was gentle.

“What did you tell her?”

“I didn't really, I was too upset. She's too young, and … what if she starts having nightmares again, if it all comes back to her?”

“Then, she'll call you. Besides it may never happen. You said that she had settled down again.”

“But she might see something.” He sounded frantic and Linda was smiling.

“Sweetheart, she's a big girl now. Your baby is leaving the nest. You're going to have to face it.”

He groaned softly. “You know, I feel like a complete jerk, but it just about turned my insides upside down.” He was smiling now too, and he felt comforted by the sound of Linda's voice. Suddenly he needed her more than ever. For years Vanessa had filled an enormous void in his life, a void that had been left by Serena. But now little by little Linda was moving into that space and he was letting her do it.

“You're not alone. This happens to all parents. It's especially hard on fathers to see their daughters grow up, and very hard on mothers to have their children leave the nest. You're a mother and father rolled into one, so it's hitting you doubly hard. Guess what, Doctor? It's normal.”

“You know, I almost cried.”

“Sure. Who wouldn't?” She had such a nice way of making him feel that everything was all right and he wasn't crazy.

“You know something? You're terrific. How about lunch today?”

She glanced at her calendar. “Sounds delightful.” And then she had an idea. “Want to meet me at my place?”

He chuckled in his office. “Now, that is a splendid idea, Doctor Evans. A consultation?”

“Of course.” They both laughed and hung up, and at noon they met in her apartment and made love until two thirty. With Linda, Teddy was feeling a passion that he hadn't felt in years. And for the first time in years, after they made love, he didn't feel empty or guilty. The ghost of Serena was finally fading.

“You know,” he said, looking at her pensively as he drew a lazy finger around her breasts, “I used to think it was all over.”

“What?”

“Oh, I don't know …” he sighed. “I haven't been in love in so long, Linda.” He looked at her sadly for a moment. “I was so much in love with Vanessa's mother that I never really wanted anyone else.”

“It must have been very traumatic for you when she was killed.”

His eyes were bright with tears as he looked at Linda. “I wanted to kill the son of a bitch myself. I'll never understand how he could do it … and they let him out of the country.”

“He must have had an awful lot of pull.”

“He did. His family was very influential. Anyway, I don't know. After that I poured out everything I had on Vanessa. There was never much left for anyone else. I think maybe I was numb.” He smiled at the beautiful woman lying at his side, and she touched him gently.

“You certainly aren't numb anymore.”

“Thank you, Doctor.” He kissed her and a moment later he felt desire surge within him again. They made love one last time, and parted regretfully afterward to go back to work, even though they were meeting again for dinner that night.

As Vanessa's preparations to move gained momentum they seemed to spend more and more time together. It was as though, in letting her go, Teddy was better able to reach out to Linda. Vanessa finally moved into a studio apartment of her own on May 1, and on the following weekend Linda stayed for four days. After that Teddy wound up spending most of the following week at her apartment. She returned to his place for the weekend and spent the week. They never seemed to leave each other anymore, except to go to their offices, and when the three of them went away for a weekend in Cape Cod in August, Teddy looked at Vanessa sheepishly and cleared his throat.

“I have something to tell you, sweetheart.” Linda watched him, feeling tenderness mingle with amusement. In some ways he was still very shy. But it was part of what she loved about him, and there was a great deal about him that she loved.

Vanessa looked at him with a question in her eyes, and for just an instant the two women's eyes met and held, and then Linda looked away. She didn't want to spoil the surprise. “What is it?” Vanessa tried to seem nonchalant but she wasn't. She suddenly felt an electric thrill of excitement and anticipation course through her.

“I … uh … Linda and I …”He almost choked on the words and then took a breath. “We're getting married.”

“Well, it's about time.” Vanessa beamed. “When's the wedding?”

“We haven't quite figured that out yet. We thought maybe September.”

“Do I get to take pictures?”

“Of course.” He looked at her searchingly, wanting her approval, and she was beaming, and suddenly she threw her arms around his neck. They had had something so special for so many years, and now it had altered slightly, but in a healthy way for them both, and she was so pleased that he was marrying Linda. They were perfect for each other, in every way. And neither one of them had ever been married, he at forty-six and she at thirty-nine.

“I'm so happy for you, Uncle Teddy.” She held him close and Linda felt warm just watching them. And then Vanessa reached out to hug her, and as the two women embraced there were tears in their eyes.

“Do I get to be an aunt, or …” She looked puzzled. “What would I be? A cousin? Gee, seems like I could have a better title than that.” And then her eyes clouded strangely. She had been about to say sister, but something had stopped her. Teddy and Linda both saw it and no one said a word. “Can I be an aunt?”

“Sure.” Linda grinned. “But you're a little ahead of yourself, Vanessa. I'm happy to announce that this is not a shotgun marriage.”

“But I could arrange that.” Teddy grinned and put an arm around each of his women, as they strolled down the beach, talking about the wedding, and he felt as though he were the happiest man alive.