Danielle Steel - The Ranch

“I've never known anyone like him,” she said. It made her think of living with Bill, even before Todd died. There had always been a considerable divergence of opinion between them, but she'd thought it was interesting, and even at the best of times, there had been a fair amount of amicable conflict. She used to think it gave texture to things, and it shed new light on a variety of situations. But in Hartley's case, everything was so much smoother. Now she saw what it was like being with someone who had the same ideas about things, shared the same views, it was like dancing with Astaire and being Ginger Rogers. She and Bill were no longer even in the same ballroom.

She was halfway out the door that night, in bright red jeans, a matching sweater, and lipstick exactly the same color and her dark hair pulled back, when the phone rang. The others had just gone on ahead, and she had stayed to look for the bright red cowboy boots she'd bought at Billy Martin's. She had just pulled them on and run out the door when the phone rang. And she was tempted not to answer. But it didn't seem fair to the others, it could have been a call from Zoe's child or one of her patients, or something warning Tanya of danger, or a potential problem. She hurried back into the room, carrying her red cashmere shawl, and picked up the phone, sounding breathless.

“Hello?”

“Is Mrs. Walker there.?” She didn't recognize the voice at first. It was a man and she couldn't imagine who was calling.

“This is she. Who is this?” she said formally, and then was startled by the answer.

“Mary Stuart? It didn't sound like you.” It was Bill, and it only underlined how remote they had become. Neither of them had recognized the other. But she hadn't spoken to him in days. Most of the time now, they exchanged brief and extremely uninteresting faxes.

“It didn't sound like you either. I was just running out to dinner.”

“Sorry if this is a bad time,” he said drily. It was three o'clock in the morning for him. And she couldn't imagine why he was calling.

“Is Alyssa all right?” Her heart skipped a beat as she asked him. It was the only reason she could think of now for him calling.

“She's fine,” he said calmly. “I spoke to her yesterday, they're having a ball in Vienna. They had just arrived from Salzburg. They're all over the place, but it's fun for them. I don't suppose we'll see her now all summer.” Mary Stuart smiled at the description of what she was doing. It sounded just like her.

“If you talk to her again, tell her I love her. She hasn't called me. I think the time difference probably makes it too difficult. But I figured she was okay, or she'd have called you. It's late for you. What are you doing up at this hour?” They were like business associates exchanging news, there was nothing personal between them.

“I was working late, and I was stupid enough to drink coffee this afternoon, so here I am, awake at this ungodly hour, so I figured I'd call you. The time difference never really works for me either.” Neither does our marriage, she wanted to add, but she didn't.

“It's nice of you to call,” she said, but sounded unconvincing. She didn't even want to try anymore. She didn't want to warm up to him. She had made her decision. She wanted out now. And it had nothing to do with Hartley Bowman. It had everything to do with William Walker.

“What are you doing there? You haven't told me a thing in your faxes. In fact, I don't think I've heard from you in several days, have I?” He didn't even remember. But it didn't matter to Mary Stuart.

“You don't tell me much either,” she said pointedly.

“There's nothing to tell, I'm working. I'm not going to Annabel's or Harry's Bar. I'm sitting on my duff day after day, night after night, getting ready for this case. It's not much fun, but I think we're going to win it. We're very well prepared.”

“That's nice,” she said, looking down at her red leather boots, and thinking of her husband. But as she listened to him, she found all she could think of now was Hartley. And Bill suffered from the comparison. She couldn't imagine having this conversation with Hartley Bowman, or having the year she had just shared with him. She couldn't imagine any of it, or wanting to live through it again, or even continue any longer.

“What about you?” He was pressing her, and she didn't seem to want to talk. He noticed it too, and wondered about it.

“We're riding every day. It's incredibly beautiful here I've never seen anything like it. The Tetons are spectacular, better than Europe.”

“How are your friends?” Why was he so interested suddenly? She couldn't understand it.

“They're fine.” She didn't say a word about Zoe. “In fact, they're waiting for me for dinner.” She didn't tell him about the two-step lesson afterward, or about Zoe's illness. There was nothing she wanted to share with him. It was over.

“I won't hold you then. Give them my best.” She was about to thank him and say good-bye and there was an awkward pause at his end. It was late for him, and she hadn't seen him in weeks now.

“Stu… I miss you.” There was an endless silence after he said it. She didn't want to mislead him now, and she didn't know why he was doing this. After a year of silence and pain, why would he? Maybe he just felt guilty, or was sorry about what they no longer had, just as she was. But she wasn't going to play games with him, and she wasn't going to let him hurt her again. He had hurt her too much already. The doors were closed now. She wondered, from the hour and his tone, if he had been drinking. It wasn't like him, but it was late and he was alone, it was possible. Whatever the reason, she wasn't buying.

“Don't work too hard,” was all she said. A month before, six months before… a year before… she'd have felt like a monster for what she wasn't saying. But now she felt nothing at all as she said good-bye and hung up the phone, and hurried out the door to meet the others for dinner.

The two-step lesson that night was even more fun than anticipated. All the guests came, and Zoe sat wrapped in a blue cashmere shawl, she was wearing a soft chamois dress and beautiful turquoise earrings, and she looked lovely as she sat there. Some of the other guests had worn skirts that swirled as they danced. Tanya looked spectacular as usual in a white lace antique Victorian dress that managed to make her look both innocent and sexy. And Gordon looked totally overwhelmed by her when he saw her. He was wearing jeans and a clean cowboy shirt, a black Stetson and black boots. Tanya told him when they met that he looked like a cowboy in a movie. And Charlotte Collins asked that Gordon do the demonstration. He had apparently won several prizes for his two-step.

“Not just for riding bulls and saddle broncs, although he won't tell you that,” she teased. She was a wise and canny old woman. And she was keeping a motherly eye on Zoe, who was content to sit on the couch. She was not yet feeling up to dancing, but she was having a good time chatting with John Kroner, who had come for dinner and the evening. Charlotte invited him frequently, and he had come tonight just for the pleasure of seeing Zoe and to get a chance to talk to his hero.

“Has anyone here ever done the two-step before?” Charlotte asked, as Gordon came forward and several return guests raised their hands awkwardly, and Tanya couldn't help laughing.

“Not since I was about fourteen, Miss Charlotte.”

“That's right,” Charlotte smiled warmly at her, “we have a girl from Texas. Will you give it a whirl?” she asked, as though Tanya would be doing her a favor, and the guests instantly applauded. If they couldn't hear her sing, at least they could watch her do the two-step.

“I'm afraid I'll disgrace myself,” she laughed, “and you,” she said to Gordon as he approached her. But the temptation to dance with him was too great, the lure of him too strong, and she slipped her hand gently in his and headed for the middle of the floor as they turned on the music, and Charlotte explained to everyone how you did it. Gordon went through the motions with her slowly first, and then with the next song, he spun her around, walked her forward and back and twirled her, and everyone clapped, they looked fantastic together. It looked like a professional demonstration, and Gordon looked as though he were going to die of joy as Tanya twirled lithely around him and he took her in his arms as the song concluded.