Danielle Steel - Wings

The tour didn't seem like much to him, but it was amazing how many hours of every day it consumed, reading reports, checking out the plane, and double-checking every little change the engineers made. She was also making long-range trips to get ready for the actual tour, and familiarizing herself with the details of their route across the Pacific.

She explained it to her father while she was there, and he was fascinated by all the preparations. He was anxious to see her plane, and she invited him to California to visit her, and see it. But he insisted he didn't have time, he was too busy at the airport. And he was about to get a lot busier. Billy had to be in Newport Beach right after Christmas to start preparing for the trip too. He was so excited it was all he talked about, and Pat growled constantly about what an inconvenience it would be to have him go away for seven or eight months. They, were expecting the trip to take less than a month to complete but there would be press conferences and interviews afterward, if he ever came back at all. Like Cassie, he would become a hero and he would get much bigger offers than O'Malley's Airport. And Pat hated to lose him.

In December, Cassie tried to do a thousand things, before she went home again for Christmas. The days were never long enough, and finally she had to send Nancy out to buy toys for all her nieces and nephews and Annabelle and Humphrey. She bought her sisters’ gifts herself, and for her brothers-in-law, and her parents. It made her sad to realize there was no gift for Chris this year, and there never would be. When he was a little boy she used to give him cars that she traded her dolls for. She would have done anything for him then, and now he was gone. She still couldn't believe it .

It was going to be a rough Christmas this year, she knew, but they were expecting it, and she was touched when Desmond came by the night before she left, to bring her a present. She had bought him a beautiful navy cashmere scarf that she'd picked out for him at Edward Bursals in Beverly Hills, and a handsome new briefcase from the Beverly Hills luggage shop where Nancy said he bought his luggage. She couldn't imagine giving him anything frivolous, like a loud tie or a baggy sweater. The very idea made her laugh. And she was thrilled when he liked his presents. They weren't personal, but they were useful, and he liked that.

The gifts he had given her reminded her, as always, of how thoughtful he was. He had given her the book Listen! The Wind by Anne Morrow Lindbergh, the famed aviator's wife, and a licensed pilot in her own right, and a lovely watercolor of the beach at Malibu, because he knew she loved it there. And then he handed her a smaller box, and she smiled as she unwrapped it.

“I'm not sure you'll like this one,” he said anxiously, which was unlike him. And then he stopped her and took her hand. “But if you don't, Cass, just give it back, and I'll understand. You don't have to feel obliged to accept it.”

“I can't imagine giving anything back that you gave me,” she said kindly, and he let her start unwrapping it again. Beneath the red paper, there was a small black box, and she couldn't imagine what was in it. It was very small, and she guessed it had to be a very tiny object. And then he stopped her again and took both her hands in his own. He looked so pale, she was worried about him. This was so unlike him. It was almost as though he regretted giving her the gift at all, or was afraid of her reaction.

“I've never done anything like this,” he said, looking very nervous. “You may think I'm crazy.”

“Don't worry,” she said gently. Her face was very close to his, and for the first time in a year and a half, she felt a strange current run between them. “Whatever it is, I'm sure I'm going to love it,” she promised, speaking very softly, and he looked relieved, but still uncertain. He was a powerful man, but for this one moment, he looked so vulnerable. She couldn't imagine what was happening or why. She wondered if the holidays were hard for him, because he was alone. She felt sorry for him, as she thought of it, and then she smiled at him.

“Everything is okay, Desmond. I promise.” She wanted to reassure him. They were friends now. The long preparations for the Pacific tour had already brought them closer together.

“Don't say that until you look at my present.”

“All right, then let me open it,” she said calmly. He took his hands away then, and she opened the box finally, and all she could do was stare at the contents. It was a perfectly round, extremely large fifteen-carat diamond engagement ring, and as she stared at it in total disbelief, he slipped it on her finger.

“Desmond, I…” She didn't know what to say to him. She hadn't expected this. Me had never even really kissed her.

“Whatever you do, don't be angry at me,” he begged. “I never intended to do this… not this way… but… Cass—” He looked at her imploringly, so vulnerable suddenly, so open. “I've fallen head over heels in love with you. I never expected to do that. I thought we'd just be friends, and then… I don't know what happened. But if you don't want to marry me, I'll understand. We'll just go on as we did before, we'll do the tour… Cass… please… say something… oh God, Cassie… I love you.” He buried his face in her hair, and she was overwhelmed with tenderness for him. She didn't love him as she loved Nick, that would have been impossible, but she loved him as one would a dear friend, or someone who needed you very badly. She wanted to make things right for him, to be there for him, to help him. Even to erase the pain of the past for him, if she could. But not for an instant had she ever thought of their getting married.

“Oh, Desmond,” she said softly, as he pulled away to look at her face and see what she was really saying.

“Are you angry at me?”

“How could I be…?” She looked stunned more than anything. She had no idea what to say now.

“Oh, Cassie, God how I love you,” he whispered and then kissed her for the first time, without waiting to hear if she would keep the ring, and she was startled by the extent of his passion. He was deeply emotional, in a way she had never even suspected. Everything was bottled up inside, and had been for years probably. He kissed her again, and she was surprised at herself when she responded, and was breathless when she pulled away from him. The entire experience was dizzying and she was confused by everything she was feeling. He was a far more powerful person than she was.

“I think this is supposed to be the engagement, not the honeymoon,” she said hoarsely, and he grinned, looking boyish and a little wild-eyed.

“Is it? Is it the engagement, Cass?” He couldn't believe what he was hearing. He wanted it to be, but she wasn't sure yet. This was all so unexpected.

“I don't know… I… I didn't expect this…” But she didn't look angry at him, and she hadn't said no yet.

“I don't expect you to love me immediately. I know about your friend in the RAF… if… if you think that… Cassie, you have to do what's right for you… what about him?” He had to know now. And she wanted to be honest with him.

“I still love him.” She couldn't imagine loving anyone but him. She had always loved him, as far back as she could remember. “He says he'll never marry me… he left in a rage about the tour the last time I saw him, and I haven't heard from him since. I don't think I will.” She looked at him a little forlornly, remembering the last time she'd seen Nick. But everything with Desmond was so different.

“Where does that leave us?” he asked her gently. She looked at him and shivered. He was so good to her, so understanding. And she knew she couldn't abandon him now after all he'd done for her. But it didn't seem right to love one man and marry another. It wasn't fair to Desmond, more than anyone, but he seemed willing to accept the situation. And Nick would never marry her, that she was sure of. He was the stubbornest man alive. And she and Desmond had so much in common. They shared his business and the tour. Together they could do great things. And if she couldn't have Nick, then maybe all she needed was to be married to a good friend. It didn't seem possible to find another man she loved as she did Nick in one lifetime. And in time, she might come to love him as she did Nick, though she couldn't imagine it. But in many ways, she already cared about Desmond deeply. Marriage would be the ultimate bond between them. But it hurt to think of marrying anyone other than Nick Galvin.