Danielle Steel - Wings

“He's not doing that, Nick. I swear. He has no plans for me. At least not that I know of. And I'm a better flier than she was anyway.” It was an outrageous thing to say, and she laughed as she said it. But Nick took her seriously, as he sat there and watched her. She had gotten still lovelier in the month she'd been away and she didn't even know it.

“You are faster, as a matter of fact. And you don't know what his plans are. This guy isn't doing it for small potatoes. He's got his eye on the big time.”

“Maybe you're right,” she said, doubtfully. Maybe he did have a world tour in mind. “If he mentions anything about one, I'll tell you. I promise.”

“Be careful.” He frowned at her, still worried about her, and lit a cigarette, as she closed her eyes and sniffed the familiar fumes of his Camels. They reminded her of her father's airport… and of Nick… and the old days, of meeting at the airfield in Prairie City. Just sitting there with him made her desperately homesick, for him, and all the people she loved there. But she had missed him almost more than anyone.

In the end he relaxed, and enjoyed the fact that he was finally with her again. Being away from her for so long had almost driven him crazy. And day after day, he had thought of new plots that Williams might be hatching to exploit her. He finally stopped nagging her about Williams's plans for her, and the fact that she was being used, and they had a nice afternoon. They went for a long walk on the beach, and sat on the sand in the August sun, looking out at the ocean. It felt good just sitting side by side again, and they sat for a long time together in silence.

“There's going to be a war in Europe soon,” he said prophetically, when they started chatting again. ‘The signs are as clear as that sun up there,” he said unhappily. “Hitler won't be controlled. They're going to have to stop him.”

“Do you think we'll get into it eventually?” She loved talking to him about politics again. She had no one to talk to here. She was too solitary and too busy. Nancy talked to her about clothes, and her “escorts” just posed for pictures.

“Most people think we won't get into it,” he said quietly. “But I thing we'll have to.”

“And you?” She knew him well. Too well. She wondered if that was what he was telling her. That he felt the same pull he had felt twenty years before. She hoped not. “Would you go?”

“I'm probably too old to go.” He was thirty-eight, and not old by any means. But he could have stayed home if he'd wanted to. Pat was too old to fight another war. But Nick still had choices. “But I'd probably want to.” He smiled at her, his hair flying in the salt air, as hers did. They were sitting side by side on the sand, their shoulders touching and their hands. It was so comforting to have him near her. She had relied on him for so long, and learned so much from him. She missed him more than anyone at home, and he had found that her absence was like a physical ache that still had not abated.

“I don't want you to go,” she said unhappily, looking into the blue eyes she knew so well, with the small crow's-feet beside them. She couldn't bear the thought of losing him. She wanted to make him promise he wouldn't go to another war in Europe.

“I couldn't bear it if anything happened to you, Nick.” She said it so softly he could hardly hear her.

“We take the same risks every day,” he said honestly. “You can run into trouble tomorrow, so can I. I think we both know that.”

“That's different.”

“Not really. I worry about you out here too. Flying those planes is risky business. You're dealing with high speeds, and heavy machines, and altered engines at unusual altitudes. You're looking for problems and trying to set records. That's about as dangerous as you get,” he said grimly. “I keep worrying that you're going to crash somewhere in one of his damn test planes.” He looked at her seriously and they both recognized the danger. “Besides, your dad says women pilots can't fly worth a damn.” He grinned and she laughed.

“Thanks.”

“I know what a lousy teacher you had.”

“Yeah.” She smiled up at him, and touched his face with her fingers. “I miss you a lot… I miss the days when we used to hang out and talk on our runway.”

“So do I,” he said softly, and curled her fingers into his. “Those were some special times.” She nodded, and neither of them said anything for a long time, and then they walked along the beach for a while and talked about family and friends back home. Her brother hadn't flown since the air show, and her father didn't seem to mind. Chris was busy with school now. Colleen was pregnant again. To Cassie, it seemed endless. And Bobby had started seeing Peggy Bradshaw. She was widowed and alone with two small kids, and Nick had seen him more than once, driving his truck to her little cottage.

“She'd be good for him,” Cassie said fairly, surprised at how little she felt for him. It was only amazing that they had been engaged for a year and a half. They never should have been. “And now shell hate flying as much as he does,” she said sadly, thinking of the horrifying accident at the air show. It had been so awful.

“You'd have been miserable with him,” Nick said, looking down at her possessively. He wanted to stay right here and protect her, from being used, or endangered.

“I know. I think I even knew that then. I just didn't know how to get out of it without hurting his feelings. And I really thought I was supposed to many him. I don't know what I'm going to do,” she said, looking out at the horizon. “One of these days everyone's going to want me to grow up and get out of the sky, and then what am I going to do, Nick? I don't think I could stand it.”

“Maybe you can figure out a way to have both one day. A real life, and flying. I never have, but you're smarter than I am.” He was always honest with her. Most of them made a choice. He had made his. And so had she, for the moment.

“I don't see why you can't have both. But nobody else seems to believe that.”

“It's not much of a life for the other guy, and most people are smart enough to know that. Bobby was. So was my wife.”

“Yeah,” she nodded, “I guess so.”

They went back to her apartment after that, and talked some more. And he promised to tell her mother all about where she lived. And afterward she drove him to the airport. She got into the familiar Bellanca with him, and she almost cried. It was like going home. She sat there with him for a long time, and then finally, she got out, once he was on the runway.

He looked down at her with the smile she had known and loved all her life, and she wanted to cry and beg him to take her with him. But they had their lives to lead. He had to get back to Illinois, and she had signed a contract with Desmond Williams. Most people would have died for what he had given her, but a part of her wanted to throw it all away and go home to where life was simpler.

“Take care of yourself, kid. Don't let them take too many pictures.” He smiled at her. He still didn't trust what Williams had up his sleeve. But he felt better about Cassie now that he had seen her. She had her head on her shoulders. And she wasn't being snowed by anyone. She also didn't appear to be in love with Desmond Williams.

“Come back soon, Nick.”

“I'll try.” His eyes held hers for a long time. There was so much he wanted to say to her, but this wasn't the time, or the moment.

“Say hi to everyone… Mom… Dad… Chris… Billy…” She was lingering, wishing he would stay. But she knew he couldn't.

“Yeah.” He looked down at her, wishing he could swoop her up with him. He had wanted to do that for a long time, but he knew now he never would. It wasn't in their destinies. All he had to do was learn to accept that. “Make sure you don't run off with Desmond Williams. I'll come after you, if you do. Course your mama might shoot me for destroying your big chance.”