Gerald Durrell - The Talking Parcel

“I don’t care,” said Penelope stubbornly. “I’m going with them. After all, I tricked Ethelred into telling you about the drain, otherwise you wouldn’t be going at all.”

“That’s perfectly true,” said Peter uneasily.

“Well, all right, you can come,” said Simon, “but only if you promise to run like a rabbit at the first sign of danger.”

“I shall not,” said Penelope with dignity. “I shall only run like a rabbit when everyone else runs like a rabbit.”

“All right,” said Simon, smiling. “Once Ethelred’s enticed the guards into the dungeon, where the Books are, we go out and put the model into this corridor here , and Parrot says he will sit on its shoulders and imitate H.H.’s voice. Then , when Ethelred tells the guard that it’s H.H., Parrot will fly off the model and give it a push with his feet, and it will then go rolling down the corridor and into the moat. With luck, the guards will follow it, and maybe even dive for it, because we weighted it so that when it hits the water it’ll sink. While all this is happening, we go in to the Books and ask about the cure for Cockatrices, and Penelope writes it down. Then we es­cape.”

“Splendid, simply splendid,” said H.H. “What a masterly plan. How grateful I am to you brave children.”

“ ’Ere, what about me?” said Ethelred, hurt.

“You’ve proved yourself to be a truly sagacious and in­telligent Toad,” said H.H., patting him on his top hat. “And when this is all over, I’ll make you Head Toad at the Free School for Toads.”

“Cor,” said Ethelred, overcome with the honor.

“Now, I think we all ought to have a hot drink of moon-car­rot cocoa. Then I'll go and sw itch off the moon and you can go,” said H.H.

“One thing wot’s worrying me,” said Ethelred, sipping his cocoa, “that is, should I stay on as Master Counterspy X, or should I escape with you lot?”

“Escape with us,” said Penelope firmly. “The Cockatrices will know that you’ve changed sides. Besides, we’ll have plenty of other important work for you to do.”

“Just say the word, miss,” said Ethelred, tipping his hat over one eye in a devil-may-care manner. “Just you say the word and Master Counterspy X is at your service.”

“Thank you,” said Penelope gravely.

When they’d finished the cocoa, which was very warm and stomach-comforting, H.H. consulted his watch. “Time for me to put out the moon,” he said. “Are you all ready?”

“Key,” said everyone.

“Good luck,” said Tabitha and Dulcibelle, both sniffing vio­lently into their handkerchiefs.

So the party set off down one of the many side tunnels of the Crystal Caves—one that would bring them out within a short distance of the moon-carrot field where lay the entrance to the drain. Penelope and Ethelred, carrying flashlights, went first with Parrot, and Peter and Simon brought up the rear, carrying the model of H.H.

At last they left the tunnel and made their way out into the field, which, without a moon, was as black as the bottom of a well. It was very silent and they could hear the whisper of the moon-carrot leaves, soft as velvet, brushing against their ankles. They only used the flashlights when absolutely necessary, espe­cially when they neared the great, dark bulk of Cockatrice Castle, just in case a sentry should spot them and give the alarm.

“Stop ’ere a minute,” whispered Ethelred. “It’s somewhere ’ere. I’ll ’ave to look for it.”

So Parrot and the children waited while Ethelred hopped about among the moon-carrot leaves, muttering to himself. “ ’Ere it is,” he said at last. “I knew it was ’ere somewhere.”

By the light of their flashlights, the children could see a square manhole with a wire cover lying beside it. Shining their torches into it, they could see it led into a large, circular brick- built drain. Just under the manhole was a chair.

“That’s ’ow I got out,” said Ethelred proudly.

Carefully they lowered themselves and the dummy down into the drain. Here things became easier, since they could shine their torches without fear of being seen. After they had walked for about five minutes, the tunnel sloped downward, and they could feel a cool breeze on their faces.

“Nearly there,” whispered Ethelred. “Dead quiet now. Them guards are only just round the corner.”

He led them out of the drain into a great, grim dungeon piled high with old furniture, candelabras, and all the other strange things that are generally found in attics, all dusty and hung with cobwebs as thick as black lace. The whole place had a cold, damp smell that made Penelope shiver. Ethelred led them between the great piles of cobweb-covered furniture until they came to a door, which he opened a crack and peered through.

“ ’Ere, ’ave a look and get the lie of the land,” he said at last. Each of them in turn peered through the crack.

A little way down the passage was a big, arched door bound in brass, which evidently led to the dungeon where the Great Books of Government were held. Lounging outside the door were two bored-looking Cockatrices who were obviously sen­tries. One was busy sharpening his great claws with his beak, while the other one was amusing himself by cutting his initials in the wall with the flames from his nostrils. Opposite to them was the corridor which sloped down toward the moat.

“Now,” said Ethelred, his voice shaking with a mixture of alarm and excitement, “when I get them two into the dungeon, you get the model in place. Then Parrot can say something loud, so that I'll know you’re ready, see?”

“Yes,” everyone whispered.

Penelope could feel her heart hammering inside her ribs, and she wondered if the others felt as scared as she did.

“Well,” said Ethelred, gulping, “ ’ere we go, then.”

So saying, he opened the door, slipped into the corridor, and half closed the door behind him. The others, their eyes glued to the crack, saw him straighten his hat and with a jaunty air hop down the corridor toward the sentries, carrying Penelope’s pen­cil and pad under his arm.

“ ’Ere,” he shouted. “Show a leg there. Call yourselves sen­tries? I could ’ave crept up and strangled you both.”

The Cockatrices, at the sound of his voice, had leapt to atten­tion, but they relaxed when they saw who it was.

“Oh, it’s you, is it?” said one of them, in a nasty, harsh, crowy voice that sounded something like a dog worrying a bone. “What do you want, you stupid Toad?”

“I want no lip out of you, for a start,” said Ethelred sternly. “I’ll thank you to keep a civil tongue in your ugly face, because I just came down ’ere on a special mission from your Chief, see; and if you don’t believe me, why don’t you nip upstairs and ask ’im. I wouldn’t advise it, because ’e’s in a bad temper like a vol­cano wot’s going to erupt, see.”

“What’s wrong with him?” asked the Cockatrice in alarm. It was obvious from the sentries’ uneasy attitude that when the Chief Cockatrice was in a temper everyone suffered.

“H.H. is the matter,” said Ethelred. “Yes, that’s what it is: H.H. planning vengeance on us all.”

“How can he?” sneered the second Cockatrice. “We’ve got all his Books here. He hasn’t any spells left.”

“All right then,” said Ethelred triumphantly. “If ’e ’asn’t any spells left, ’ow ’as ’e managed to put out the moon?”

“Put out the moon?” echoed the sentries incredulously.

“Yes,” said Ethelred. “If you don’t believe me, go up on the battlements and look. That’s w ;hy your Chief’s dead scared, ’e is. That’s why ’e sent me down ’ere to look up moon spells in the Great Book of Spells, and that’s why I ’aven’t time to stand ’ere gossiping with you lot. Open that door and let me in, or you’ll both catch it in the neck from the Chief.”