Margaret Atwood - The Testaments

“I will bring the necessary items to you later tonight,” said Aunt Lydia. “I have already arranged a pass identifying Nicole as Aunt Immortelle. Unfortunately, there will not be time for me to reschedule the sojourn at the Retreat House for Aunt Immortelle. Such a deception might not have lasted long enough in any case.”

“Aunt Helena will notice Nicole is gone,” I said. “She always counts heads. And they’ll wonder why Becka—why Aunt Immortelle—is still here.”

“Indeed,” said Aunt Lydia. “Therefore I must ask you to perform a special service, Aunt Immortelle. Please conceal yourself for at least forty-eight hours after the other two have left. Perhaps in the library?”

“Not there,” said Becka. “There are too many books. There isn’t room for a person.”

“I’m sure you’ll think of something,” said Aunt Lydia. “Our entire mission, not to mention the personal safety of Aunt Victoria and Nicole, depends on you. It is a great deal of responsibility—a renewed Gilead can be possible only through you; and you would not want the others to be caught and hanged.”

“No, Aunt Lydia,” Becka whispered.

“Thinking cap on!” said Aunt Lydia brightly. “Use your wits!”

“You’re dumping too much on her,” said Nicole to Aunt Lydia. “Why can’t I just go alone? Then Aunt Immortelle and Agnes—Aunt Victoria—can make their trip together at the right time.”

“Don’t be stupid,” I said. “You can’t. You’d be arrested immediately. Pearl Girls always go in twos, and even if you don’t wear the uniform, a girl your age would never travel unaccompanied.”

“We should make it look as if Nicole has climbed over the Wall,” said Becka. “That way they won’t look inside Ardua Hall. I’ll have to hide inside it somewhere.”

“What an intelligent idea, Aunt Immortelle,” said Aunt Lydia. “Perhaps Nicole will oblige us by writing a note to that effect. She can say that she realizes she is unsuitable as an Aunt: that will not be hard to believe. Then she can claim to have run off with an Economan—some lowly functionary doing repair work for us here—who has promised her marriage and a family. Such an intention would at least demonstrate an admirable desire to procreate.”

“As if. But no problem,” said Nicole.

“No problem what?” Aunt Lydia said crisply.

“No problem, Aunt Lydia,” said Nicole. “I can write the note.”

—

At ten o’clock, when it was dark, Aunt Lydia reappeared at the door, carrying a bulky black cloth bag. Becka let her in. “Blessed be, Aunt Lydia,” she said.

Aunt Lydia didn’t bother with a formal greeting. “I’ve brought everything you’ll need. You will leave by the east gate at 6:30 a.m. precisely. There will be a black car waiting for you to the right of the gate. You will be driven out of this city as far as Portsmouth, New Hampshire, where you will take a bus. Here is a map, with the route marked. Get off at the X . The passwords there will be May day and June moon . The contact there will take you to your next destination. Nicole, if your mission is successful, those who murdered your adoptive parents will be revealed, if not held to account immediately. I can now tell both of you that if you do in fact reach Canada despite known obstacles, there is a not insignificant chance that you may—I say may —be reunited with your mother. She has been aware of that possibility for some time.”

“Oh, Agnes. Praise be—that would be so wonderful,” Becka said in a small voice. “For both of you,” she added.

“I’m truly grateful to you, Aunt Lydia,” I said. “I have prayed so long for such an outcome.”

“I said if you’re successful. It’s a big if ,” said Aunt Lydia. “Success is not a foregone conclusion. Excuse me.” She looked around, then sat down heavily on the sofa. “I will trouble you for that glass of water now.” Becka went to get it.

“Are you all right, Aunt Lydia?” I asked.

“The minor infirmities of age,” she said. “I hope you will live long enough to experience them. One more thing. Aunt Vidala is in the habit of taking an early-morning walk in the vicinity of my statue. If she sees you—dressed as Pearl Girls, as you will be—she will attempt to stop you. You must act quickly, before she can create a disturbance.”

“But what should we do?” I asked.

“You are strong,” said Aunt Lydia, looking at Nicole. “Strength is a gift. Gifts should be employed.”

“You mean I should hit her?” said Nicole.

“That is a very direct way of putting it,” said Aunt Lydia.

—

After Aunt Lydia had gone, we opened the black cloth bag. There were the two dresses, the two sets of pearls, the two white hats, the two silver backpacks. There was a packet of brochures and an envelope with some Gilead food tokens, a bundle of Canadian paper money, and two credit cards. There were two passes to get us through the gates and checkpoints. There were also two bus tickets.

“Guess I’ll write that note and go to bed,” said Nicole. “See you in the a.m.” She was acting brave and unconcerned, but I could see she was nervous.

Once she was out of the room, Becka said, “I really wish I was going with you.”

“I really wish you were coming too,” I said. “But you’ll be helping us. You’ll be protecting us. And I’ll find a way to get you out later, I promise.”

“I don’t think there is a way,” said Becka. “But I pray you are right.”

“Aunt Lydia said forty-eight hours. That means only two days. If you can hide that long…”

“I know where,” said Becka. “On the roof. In the water cistern.”

“No, Becka! That’s too dangerous!”

“Oh, I’ll let all the water out first,” she said. “I’ll run it through the Doorway C bathtub.”

“They’ll notice, Becka,” I said. “In the A and B Doorways. If there isn’t any water. They share our cistern.”

“They won’t notice at first. We’re not supposed to take baths or showers that early in the day.”

“Don’t do it,” I said. “Why don’t I just not go?”

“You don’t have a choice. If you stay here, what will happen to Nicole? And Aunt Lydia wouldn’t want them interrogating you, and making you tell about what she’s planned. Or else Aunt Vidala would want to question you, and that would be the end.”

“Are you saying she’d kill me?”

“Eventually. Or someone would,” said Becka. “It’s what they do.”

“There must be a way we can take you,” I said. “We can hide you in the car, or…”

“Pearl Girls only ever travel in twos,” she said. “We wouldn’t get far. I’ll be with you in spirit.”

“Thank you, Becka,” I said. “You are a sister to me.”

“I’ll think of you as birds, flying away,” she said. “A bird of the air will carry the voice.”

“I will pray for you,” I said. It did not seem adequate.

“And I for you.” She smiled slightly. “I’ve never loved anyone but you.”

“I love you too,” I said. Then we hugged each other and cried a little.

“Get some sleep,” Becka said. “You will need your strength for tomorrow.”

“You too,” I said.

“I will stay up,” she said. “I’ll do a vigil for you.” She went into her room, closing the door softly.

61

The next morning, Nicole and I slipped quietly out of Doorway C. The clouds in the east were pink and gold, the birds were chirping, the early-morning air was still fresh. There was no one else about. We walked quickly and quietly along the pathway in front of Ardua Hall, towards the statue of Aunt Lydia. Just as we got to it, Aunt Vidala came around the corner of the adjacent building, walking resolutely.