Lisa Gardner - Touch & Go

“Girl steps up,” Mick repeated. “Girl presents wrists through the slot. I secure girl’s hands, she exits cell. Those are the instructions.”

“No,” Justin said. His shoulders were set, his hands fisted by his side. “I’ll go first. Then my daughter. Then my wife.”

Mick raised his black Taser till it was visible through the narrow strip of window.

“Girl steps up,” he repeated, and this time there was a load of menace behind each word.

I gazed from my husband to the commando, still feeling confused, then I got it. The scenario Justin was trying to avoid: If Ashlyn exited the cell, Mick could simply slam the door shut behind her. Trapping us inside the cell. Leaving Ashlyn alone and vulnerable on the other side of it.

I stepped forward, standing beside Justin with our shoulders touching. I wanted to feel brave, resolute. My stomach was cramping. I could feel fresh beads of sweat across my forehead, and I dug my nails into my palms, calling upon the pain to ground me.

Mick lowered a metal plate, opening the slot in the middle of the cell door. His eyes were flat, his face expressionless as he lined up the Taser in the opening, aiming for Justin’s torso.

“The girl—” Mick started harshly.

“Fuck you!” Justin bellowed back.

“I’ll go.”

Both men paused, blinked, looked at Ashlyn, who’d risen from the lower bunk.

“Stop it.” She wasn’t talking to Mick; she was talking to her father. “What are you gonna do, Dad? Protect me? Pretend everything’s all right? Nothing bad’s ever gonna happen to your precious little princess? Kind of late for that, don’t you think?”

The bitterness in her voice caught me off guard. I looked down, embarrassed for my daughter, hurting for my husband, who I knew had to be shocked by such an outburst.

“Ashlyn…”

“Stop it. Just stop it. You should’ve left us, you know. Moved in with your new girlfriend, built a new life. We could’ve handled that. But, no, you have to hang around the house, pretending you still love us, pretending you still care. You made a mistake, but now you’re sorry. If we’d just give you a second chance, boo hoo hoo. You’re the one who’s trying to have his cake and eat it, too.”

Ashlyn pushed past her father, thrusting her hands through the open slot. Justin made no move to stop her, just stared at her back, openly stunned.

On the other side of the cell door, Mick laughed.

“Feisty one!” he declared, reaching for a zip tie.

“Fuck you,” our daughter told him, and my eyes widened for a second time. I’d never heard Ashlyn use such language. And I definitely hadn’t known…hadn’t even begun to suspect that she’d resented the past few months so much.

Mick laughed again.

Our family needed to hold together. Instead, barely an hour into prison life, we were tearing apart.

The commando secured Ashlyn’s wrists. There was a short buzzing sound, then the door swung open. Mick stood in the opening, Taser pointed at Justin’s chest.

I should rush him, I thought. He was so focused on Justin, I could run forward, throw all hundred and ten pounds of my body at the commando’s massive two-hundred-pound frame. If I hit him around the knees, he’d go down. Then Justin would charge forward and then…

Then there would be six more electronically controlled doors between us and freedom. We would’ve exchanged our cell for the prison dayroom. And we would’ve pissed off three armed men, one of them sporting a fang-baring cobra tattoo.

I shuddered. Another buzz. The heavy steel door closed and our daughter stood on the other side, next to the psycho commando. She didn’t look scared. She just stared at her father as if she’d never hated him so much.

“I am such an asshole,” Justin whispered.

I didn’t argue. I stepped up and presented my wrists through the slot.

MICK LINED US UP IN FRONT OF HIM. Still no sign of the other two commandos, so it was up to him to shepherd three bound prisoners out of the dayroom into the corridors of the abandoned prison. He didn’t seem nervous about his prospects. More like tense. He had the Taser held at his waist, pointing forward. The first time one of us flinched, he’d pull the trigger.

The moment we started walking, I knew I’d be the first one down. My legs shook uncontrollably, each step requiring more effort than the one before. It felt as if the atmosphere had taken on weight, until just getting my knee off the ground, my foot in the air, demanded a tremendous amount of energy. I was like a character in slow motion, barely churning my leg up, forward, down.

I stumbled, swaying right.

Mick didn’t pull the trigger, but caught my arm, shoved me forward.

I noticed that Justin and Ashlyn were now several steps ahead, a gap opening up in our group. They didn’t look back to check on me.

We arrived at the sally port. The first set of doors buzzed open, Big Brother always watching. Mick ushered us forward. When we were assembled inside the small portal, the first door rolled closed behind us; then, after a moment’s pause, a second door rolled open ahead of us.

Justin was looking up and to the right. I followed his gaze until I spotted a small electronic eye protruding from the corner. I wondered whether we should wave, or whether that would be childish.

We exited the sally port into a towering white corridor. At least two stories tall, with huge steel girders forming intersecting Vs above us. Keeping with the prison theme of soullessness, the floor was poured gray cement, the walls painted stark white and the windows, high above us, dark eerie panes of glass. Periodically, cement staircases protruded from the right side of the wall, leading to second-floor doorways.

“We’re behind the cell blocks,” Justin murmured. He looked at Mick, his gaze still challenging. “This is the exit hallway in case of fire. Hey, man. Tell us where we’re going. I’ll lead us there.”

“Walk,” Mick ordered.

Justin and Ashlyn took the lead again. And I fell immediately behind once more, still trying to force my limbs to fight gravity. Arm swinging slowly forward. Knee raising slightly, trying to cycle ahead. The lights were bright. Bouncing off every hard white surface. While my head ached and my stomach cramped and I wanted to curl up in a ball in a cool dark place. I would cover my face with my hands. I would succumb, sinking down, down, down into a darkness without end.

“Move.”

Mick’s hand on my arm, shoving me forward. I stumbled, he tried to correct, I stumbled again.

Dimly, I was aware of Justin and Ashlyn, well ahead now. Justin had his arm around our daughter’s shoulders. His head was low. He was speaking in her ear.

I was the distraction, I realized. Mick had to tend to me. And while he and I tussled with my weak, uncoordinated limbs, Justin could lead our daughter out of here. He knew where he was, behind the cell blocks, he’d said, with three locked doors already behind us…

I tripped, almost went down. Mick grabbed my upper arm, dragging me upright and twisting me around till we stood mere inches apart, chest to chest, face to face. I stared into his crazy blue eyes, framed by his even crazier blond-and-black checkerboard hair.

“Walk, goddammit! You move, you perform, you work, or I’ll blow out your fucking brains myself.”

I wished I had my husband’s courage. I would’ve settled for my daughter’s bitterness. Instead, I smiled up at the crazy commando, watching his eyes widen in surprise.

His left hand, bruising my arm. His right hand, with the Taser, dangling forgotten by his side.

“Shhh,” I whispered at him.

“What the—”

“Shhh.”

Then, faster than I knew I could move, definitely faster than he thought I could move, I grabbed the Taser with my bound hands, twisted it between us and pulled the trigger.