Кадзуо Исигуро - Klara and the Sun

‘I’m sorry. It’s my error. I don’t understand yet the rules about forgiveness. Even so I think it will be best to take him the picture. I think he’d like it.’

Her anger faded from her face. ‘Okay. Go ahead. Take it.’ Then as I turned, she added quietly: ‘You’re probably right. I guess it is him who needs to forgive me.’

‘I’ll take it to him and we can see what he does.’

‘Okay.’ Then she smiled. ‘If he’s rude about it, you just tear it up, right?’ Her smile was almost like the smiles from before Morgan’s Falls. I smiled too then, and said: ‘I hope that won’t be necessary.’

She fell back onto her pillow in a jokey way. ‘Okay, go. I need a rest now.’

But as I was leaving the bedroom, the padded envelope held closely to me, she said suddenly: ‘Hey, Klara?’

‘Yes?’

‘It must be dull, right? Living here with a sick kid.’

She was still smiling, but I saw fear beneath the smile.

‘It’s never dull to be with Josie.’

‘You waited all that time for me in the store. I bet you’re wishing now you’d gone with some other kid.’

‘I’ve never wished such a thing. It was my wish to be Josie’s AF. And the wish came true.’

‘Yeah, but…’ She made a small laughing sound full of sadness. ‘But that was before you got here. I promised it would be great.’

‘I’m very happy here. I have no wish other than to be Josie’s AF.’

‘If I get better, we can go outside together all the time. We could go to the city, see my dad. Maybe he could take us to the other cities.’

‘Those are possibilities for the future. But Josie must know. I couldn’t have a better home than this one. Or a better child than Josie. I’m so glad I waited. That Manager allowed me to wait.’

Josie thought about this. Then when she smiled again, it was full of kindness, with no fear behind it. ‘So we’re friends, right? Best friends.’

‘Yes, of course.’

‘Okay. Good. So remember. Don’t take any shit from Rick.’

I smiled too then, and held up the padded envelope to show I would take good care of it.

—

Melania Housekeeper expressed no objection to my going alone on an errand to Rick’s house. Nevertheless, as I crossed the loose stones towards the picture frame gate, she remained at the front door watching me, and only as I stepped into the first field did she go back inside.

I followed the informal trail and the ground soon became hard to predict, a soft step often coming straight after a hard one. The grass came up to my shoulders, and a fear entered my mind that I would lose my bearings. But this part of the field had been divided into orderly boxes, so that as I passed from one box into the next, I was able to see clearly those lined up ahead of me. Less helpful was the way the grass frequently sprang across me from one side or the other, but even this I quickly learned to control by holding out an arm. If I’d had both arms free, I’d have made even faster progress, but of course I was holding Josie’s envelope in one hand and couldn’t risk harming it. Then the tall grass finished around me and I was standing in front of Rick’s house.

While viewing from a distance, I’d already estimated that Rick’s house wasn’t as high-rank as Josie’s. Now I could see that many of its white paint boards had become gray – even brown in some places – and three of the windows were dark rectangles with no curtains or blinds within them. I went up a stairway of planks, each one bending under my tread, then onto a platform constructed from more such planks, this time with gaps between them through which I could see the muddy ground below. Near the house front door, pushed over to one side, was a refrigerator, its back fully exposed to passers-by, and I saw how spiders had made their homes within the complicated metal bracing. I’d paused to observe their delicate cobwebs when the front door opened – though I hadn’t pressed any button – and Rick came out onto the platform.

‘Excuse me,’ I said quickly. ‘I didn’t wish to take your privacy. I came on an important errand.’

He didn’t seem angry, but said nothing and went on watching me.

‘AFs often do important errands,’ I said. ‘Josie sent me on this one.’ I raised the envelope.

Excitement appeared suddenly in Rick’s face, then vanished again. ‘It’s good you came then,’ he said.

Perhaps he expected me simply to hand him the envelope, then go away. But I’d anticipated this possibility and made no move to offer it to him. We went on standing on the planks like that, facing one another, the wind moving through the gaps.

‘In that case,’ he said eventually, ‘I suppose you ought to come in. Be warned. It’s not fancy in here.’

The hallway had a dark wood floor, and we walked past an open trunk in which items such as broken lamps and single shoes had been placed. Rick led the way into a large room with a wide window looking out over the fields. The furniture wasn’t modern, and didn’t interconnect like that in the Open Plan: there was a heavy dark wardrobe, floor rugs with faded patterns, hard and soft chairs in different shapes and sizes. Of the many small pictures on the walls, some were photographs, others drawn by sharp pencil, and here too spiders had made homes in the corners of frames. There were books, round-face clocks, low tables. I could see navigation wouldn’t be easy, so selected a spot where the floor was relatively open, went to it and stood there with my back to the wide window.

‘Okay, so this is where we live,’ Rick said. ‘My mother and me.’

‘It’s kind of you to allow me in.’

‘I was watching you coming from upstairs. I’ll need to go back up soon.’ He gestured with just his eyes towards the ceiling. Then he said with sadness: ‘I suppose you noticed the smell.’

‘I’m not able to smell.’

‘Oh sorry, I didn’t realize. I assumed smell would be an important faculty. I mean for safety. Burning, things like that.’

‘Perhaps for that reason B3s have been given limited smell. But I have none.’

‘Well that’s lucky for you just now. Because this place still smells. Even though I did the hall this morning. Did it over and over and over.’ Tears had appeared in his eyes, but he went on looking at me.

‘Rick’s mother isn’t well?’

‘You could say that. Though she’s not sick in the way Josie’s sick. I’d rather not talk about Mum if you don’t mind. How’s Josie these days?’

‘I’m afraid she’s no better.’

‘Worse?’

‘Perhaps not worse. But I believe her condition may be a very serious one.’

‘That’s what I was thinking.’ He sighed and sat down on the sofa facing me. ‘So she sent you here on an errand.’

‘Yes. She wanted me to give you this. She worked especially hard on it.’

I held out the envelope in such a way that he could receive it while still sitting on the sofa. But he rose to his feet, even though he’d only just sat down, and, taking the envelope, opened it carefully.

He gazed at the picture for some time, his face on the edge of smiling. ‘Rick and Josie forever,’ he said finally.

‘Is that what it says? Inside the bubble?’

‘Oh, I thought you’d seen it.’

‘Josie put it in the envelope without showing me.’

He went on looking at it for another moment, then turned the drawing for me to see.

It was unlike any I’d seen during the bubble games. Much of the sheet was filled with sharp-looking objects, many with angry protruding points, that had become tangled together into an impenetrable mesh. Josie had used pencils of many colors to create the mesh, but its overall effect was dark and forbidding. However, a clear tranquil space had been kept in the lower left-hand corner, where the figures of two small people could be seen, their backs to passers-by, walking away hand in hand. They were too stick-like to be identifiable other than as a boy and girl, but they seemed happy and lacking worries. There was a bubble just above them, but because it was without the usual tail or bubble dots, the words inside seemed more like a poster slogan, or taxi door ad, than the thoughts from either person’s mind.