Ann Martin - Baby-Sitters Club 060

I don't think Dawn believed it, either. She did a double take.

I tried to smile. The idea was to have a discussion, not an argument. "Can we talk?" I asked.

"What a surprise," Dawn said. "I didn't think you were talking to me." "I didn't think you were talking to me!" Dawn gave me a withering look. "I'm not the one who skips meetings, and talks to her boyfriend every minute of the day." "Well, I'm not the one who gets jealous because of a haircut and some clothes - " "Jealous? Me, jealous of you? Dream on, Mary Anne!" Dawn stomped down to the bottom of the stairs.

"Wait!" I said.

Dawn turned around. "I don't have time to listen to you. I didn't have the whole evening to lounge around the house and admire my boy haircut and clown makeup!" "Oh, go choke on an alfalfa sprout." Dawn stormed out of sight. I ran into my room and slammed the door. I was furious! Boy haircut? Clown makeup? How dare she? That was what I got for trying to talk things out with ... a witch! I should never have even bothered.

I plopped on my bed and buried my face in the pillow. I was never going to talk to Dawn again. I wished I'd never met her. I wished my dad and her mom had hated each other in high school, so they hadn't gotten married. I wished . . .

In the middle of my third wish, my mind turned to soup. I started to cry like a baby. I cried so hard, my sobs came in big hiccups.

But I kept my face in the pillow. I was not going to let Dawn hear that I was upset.

Well, you know how it is with a big cry. Sometimes it just puts things in perspective. When I sat up, my pillowcase was soggy but my head was clearer.

And all I could think was, Mary Anne, you really blew it.

Dawn had been mean, and her comments still stung. But I hadn't exactly been full of compassion myself.

I took a deep breath and decided to try again. Dabbing my face with a tissue, I opened my door and went downstairs.

Dawn was in the kitchen, sulking over a pot of boiling tofu. Outside I could hear Dad pulling into the driveway and Sharon greeting him. Dawn didn't look up when I came in.

"Hi," I said.

Dawn grunted.

"Smells good," I said. Okay, I lied.

"Mm-hm," Dawn said.

"Urn, I'm sorry." "Yeah. Right." I'm sorry, too, Mary Anne was what I was sort of hoping to hear. But I guess I had to take what I could get.

"Um, I really do want to talk," I said. "Nicely, if possible. No throwing tofu allowed." I saw a teeny smile on Dawn's lips. That was a good sign. "Should we have a referee?" she asked.

This time we both smiled. Then we quickly looked at the floor.

A car door slammed outside. "Let's go upstairs," I suggested.

"Okay." When we reached my room, I sat on the bed and Dawn sat on the desk chair. I looked at the pattern on the bedspread. Dawn looked at the interesting weave of the rug.

I hated the silence. "Um, anyway," I finally said, "I'm sorry ..." "You said that already." "Well, you said some pretty mean things, too," I pointed out, trying not to sound too harsh.

"Mean? Look who's talking about mean!" "I didn't do anything to hurt you!" Dawn's mouth dropped open in disbelief. "No? Maybe you forgot about that trip to the mall two weeks ago." "All I did was get a haircut and buy some nice stuff. What was the big deal?" "Mary Anne, we're sisters, remember? We always used to talk to each other about everything. All our problems, all the big changes we were going through. . . . You didn't even tell me you were going to get your hair cut." "Daawwwn - " "It's not as stupid as it sounds, Mary Anne. What if I was thinking about dyeing my hair, or eating a steak dinner - something I'd never done before? Wouldn't you feel left out if I didn't ask your advice or tell you about it or include you in any way? I mean, you went from L. L. Bean to cover girl overnight! I'd have loved picking out clothes with you - even just being excited with you. Instead, you went shopping with your dad." "Well, the trip was his suggestion," I protested. "You know, a father-daughter thing. I couldn't help that." Dawn sighed. "I know. I guess that was part of it, too. You two looked so happy and close that day, and I felt left out. It was like he and you were doing something behind my back. And the feeling got worse when you started spending so much time with Logan. All the girls felt that, not just me." "Okay," I said. "I can see how you might have felt about the makeover and the mall trip, Dawn. But I wasn't trying, to hurt you. I just wanted to surprise you. I thought you'd be happy. I thought everyone would. I mean, you and Kristy and Claudia and Stacey - you're always telling me to stand up for myself and be independent. Then, when I finally do something independent, you treat me like a traitor. And I was spending all that time with Logan because he was the only person who was nice to me." "But then you went behind his back with that other guy - " "Carlos!" I laughed. "Wow, if I ever meet this guy, I'm going to tell him what a mess he's made of my life!" "What?" I shook my head. "It's just a dumb rumor. I wouldn't know Carlos if I passed him on the street." "You mean, Sabrina . . . ?" "Well, somebody started it." "Wow. I guess we were all assuming a lot of things." "Yeah," I agreed. "A lot." We both caught our breath. There was so much to think about.

"I'm sorry, Mary Anne," Dawn said softly. "I think it was hard for me to see you change." "We all change," I answered, shrugging. "But that doesn't mean we can't like each other. Can't we be friends even if I have short hair?" There it was. Dawn's fabulous smile. "Okay," she said.

We threw our arms around each other. Dawn burst out laughing.

As for me, what do you think I did? At least I didn't douse my pillowcase again.

Well, Rounds One and Two were over. Logan trusted me again, and Dawn had finally stopped being so nasty.

Round Three took place on Wednesday at five-thirty.

Yes, I went to the Baby-sitters Club meeting that afternoon. (And let me tell you, that record book was a disgrace - but that's another story.) When I entered Claudia's room with Dawn, the room went completely silent, just as I had expected. Only Jessi and Mal (who had been innocent bystanders during this ordeal) smiled at me, and I could tell they felt self-conscious about it.

Well, I won't bore you with the details of our long, long discussion. It was a lot like the one Dawn and I had had, only with many more voices and the smell of Goobers in the air. (Oh, also a few phone interruptions.) By the end of it everyone was laughing, except me. I hadn't realized how much I'd missed my friends. I felt so happy to be with them I couldn't stop from crying again.

And you know what else? All of them - everyone - told me how great my hair looked.

After all that! When we had settled into our comfortable positions, and I was letting a Goober melt in my mouth, I remembered something important.

"Oh, boy," I said. "Tomorrow is supposed to be Carolyn's first flight. All those kids are going to show up. We have to do something." I told my friends what was going to happen at the Arnolds' house.

"Those kids are going to be so disappointed," Stacey said.

"Disappointed?" Claudia repeated. "If Carolyn doesn't give them their money back, they'll tear the basement apart." "It's my fault," I said. "I shouldn't have let it get out of hand. I just didn't know what to do." "You could have called one of us," Stacey said.

I nodded. "Yeah. I know." "I think I'm sitting there tomorrow," Kristy said.

I opened up the record book. My stomach turned at the horrible, sloppy mess of pen smudges and loose papers inside! "Yuck," I said under my breath. I looked under Thursday and saw this: "Well, I'm going to be sitting for Jenny and Andrea," I said. "Maybe I should bring them over, so I can help you out. I think you'll need it when the kids come." Kristy raised her eyebrows. "Uh, yeah. And bring a helmet." Chapter 14.