Ann Martin - Baby-Sitters Club 060

"Oh." She didn't seem crushed, but I could tell she wasn't overjoyed, either. "Well, I guess I can find enough stuff myself." "Okay," I said.

"Will you be at the meeting?" Kristy asked.

"Yeah." "See you." " 'Bye." It was mid-winter, but it felt chillier inside than out.

After school, I met Logan and we walked to his house. As soon as we stepped through the door, Logan's brother and sister ran into the living room to see us. Hunter jumped up and down, pointing to my head. "Your hair! Your hair! Your hair!" he cried out. "I like it!" Kerry was staring at me in awe. "You look so grown-up, Mary Anne." "Thanks," I said.

Hunter and Kerry are adorable, and it was nice to see them so excited and hear their compliments. A couple of days before I would have loved it. But I was tired of drawing attention to myself. I kind of wished I had an Old Mary Anne wig I could put on for awhile.

Logan and I were making hot chocolate in the kitchen, when I brought up something that was bothering me. "Urn, you're going to Austin's house today?" "Yeah," Logan said. "He came over for dinner once last week, and his parents invited me to his house." "Oh. So you definitely can't come to the BSC meeting?" "Sorry. But you can handle it, Mary Anne." "I guess." I sighed. "But a half hour of the cold shoulder?" "Bring something to read," Logan suggested. "That'll fill up the silence." "Yeah, but what if they start making comments again? Then what should I do?" Logan frowned and stirred his cocoa. "Well, let's work out a plan. What could happen?" "They could say something about my hair." "Tell them you feel great. Tell them they should try it. What else?" "They could tell me my outfit is ugly or it doesn't fit right." "Well, they're wrong, you know that. So you can just say, like, That's funny. It was one of the nicest outfits I saw there. And everyone seems to like it but you.' Something like that. Remember, you like the way you look." He quickly added, "I mean, I do, too, and so do a lot of other people, but you're the important one." As you can see, Logan is very take-charge. (And he knows how it feels when people talk behind his back. Once, he had to become a regular BSC member when Dawn went to Los Angeles for a few weeks - and when his football teammates found out, they were awful to him.) We talked and talked, and by the end of our conversation, I felt prepared for anything. At about five-fifteen, we put on our coats and left the house. Austin's is the opposite direction from Claudia's, so we said good-bye on the front lawn.

Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed a familiar car drive by. Charlie was taking Kristy to the meeting.

"Uh-oh," I said.

"They didn't stop to pick you up," Logan remarked.

"That doesn't surprise me. But I told Kristy I couldn't go shopping with her, remember? And now here I am." "Where did you say you were going to be?" I shrugged. "She didn't ask why I couldn't come." "Then don't worry about it. It's your business." "Yeah. Okay, see you tomorrow." " 'Bye." We gave each other little good-bye kisses and left.

Boy, was there a chilly breeze in Claudia's room when I got there. It came from Kristy and Stacey and Dawn and Claudia (especially Kristy), and it blasted me from head to toe.

But I knew just what to do. I said "Hi," took the record book, sat down on the bed, and did my work.

No one said a word to me. I tried to be strong. But I have to say, when the phone rang I felt a shiver of relief.

"Hello, Baby-sitters Club," Claudia said into the receiver. "Hi, Mrs. P! Uh-huh. Okay, hold on, let me check." She covered the receiver and looked at me. "A week from this Thursday, six to ten." I looked at the calendar. Jessi and Mallory can't sit at night, Kristy was sitting for the Arnolds, and Claudia was going out with her family. Dawn and Stacey were free, but they had heavy sitting schedules the rest of the week.

"I could do it," I volunteered.

As Claudia confirmed the date with Mrs.

Prezzioso, Kristy gave me a sidelong glance. "You sure?" "Yeah. Why?" "What if Logan wants to go out?" I shrugged. "We'll just - " "I mean, there are some people who give up their girlfriends for the sake of their boyfriends ..." Kristy let a silence hang in the air, then looked around and said, "Want to see what I bought for the Kid-Kits today?" "Yeah!" everyone said. They leaned forward as Kristy brought out a paper bag crammed with stuff.

Me? I just sat there, speechless. I thought I'd prepared myself for every mean comment. I never expected that one.

What else would they think of? When was this going to end?

I was determined not to cry. I looked down at the record book. The names started to blur. And for the first time, I had the terrible feeling that this was all wrong. From the start.

Maybe I just didn't belong in the Baby-sitters Club.

Chapter 10.

"Does it come in other colors, too?" Hannah Toce asked, admiring my cable-knit sweater.

"Uh-huh," I replied. "But once they sell out, they'll only have spring clothes, so you should probably go there soon." "Okay, thanks, Mary Anne!" she said, turning to look for an empty seat in the study hall. "Oh," she added, "and good luck with that guy." "What guy?" "I heard a high school guy liked you. Is that . . . off?" "Um, no. I mean, yes!" I laughed. "I mean, it's only a rumor." Hannah bit her lower lip in embarrassment. "Oh. Sorry." "It's okay," I said.

"Well, 'bye." She walked away, toward a table near the window.

I couldn't stop smiling. It was Monday, al- most a week since that rumor started. I'd kind of forgotten about it. Now that I'd been reminded, I felt a little different than I had before. Although I'd never admit it to Logan (or Kristy), I was flattered to think that some unknown tenth-grader was pining away for little old me.

You see, something unexpected had happened because of my New Look. I was getting to know all these girls I had only vaguely known before, plus some others, like Hannah, I'd never met at all. She'd always seemed so glamorous and popular and aloof. Now I was discovering that she wasn't aloof at all.

And Hannah wasn't the only one. Sabrina Bouvier and Susan Taylor, for instance, were two girls the BSC never liked. Why? Because they wore lots of makeup and expensive clothes, and seemed snobby. Well, seemed is the important word. It turned out that Sabrina and Susan were really friendly. On Friday they had complimented me on something, out of the blue.

I was beginning to realize that snobbery can go two ways. Maybe it was the BSC members who were sticking their noses up at other girls, just because of the way the girls looked.

After all, that's what they were doing to me.

After Kristy's nasty comment at Friday's meeting, I made a vow to myself. No, I wasn't going to quit the club (although I had thought about it). Instead, I decided this: I would honor all my sitting jobs, but I wasn't going to go to another meeting until someone apologized to me. Or at least said something nice.

Just thinking about the BSC was enough to upset me. As long as I kept my "mind off the club members, I felt pretty good. Looking around during study hall, I could see Sabrina a couple of tables away. Our eyes met, and I smiled. I could tell by the look in her eyes that she wanted to say something, but a teacher was pacing the floor beside her. So she just smiled back and glanced down at her work.

I sneaked the compact out from my purse and checked my makeup. Funny, I always thought that was so tacky when other girls did it, but there was really no other convenient way. Besides, I was very quick about it.

And the makeup still looked fine.

I opened the book A Separate Peace, which was my English assignment (I may have been the New Mary Anne, but I still had the Old Study Habits). But it was about these boys in some boarding school, and I was having a hard time keeping my eyes on the page.