Ann Martin - Mary Anne And The Secret In The Attic

I couldn't believe I'd never known about any of this until now. Why hadn't I been told? Why had my father kept it such a secret? And other people must have known, too: Mimi, Kristy's mom, Claud's parents. Maybe Kristy's older brothers even knew! I felt angry. Why was I the last one to know about my own self?

It was all too much to take in. I leaned back in the chair, too exhausted to walk down the stairs and go back to bed. I thought for a long time about what I'd learned. I must have dozed off. The next thing I felt was the rising sun on my face. I had spent the night sleeping in that attic.

Chapter 8.

It wasn't easy getting through a day at school after sleeping in the attic. I was tired, for one thing, since I hadn't slept very long. Also, I had a terrible crick in my neck from sleeping in the chair. And, of course, I was still in shock about what I'd discovered reading those letters. All day, I felt incredibly strange and out of place. Nothing looked or felt familiar, and it took a lot of energy to remember where my classes were and how I was supposed to act around my friends. I wasn't thinking much about what I'd read in those letters; my mind was almost a blank. I didn't want to think about my past anymore. I realized I'd been better off before, not knowing.

I skipped lunch so I wouldn't have to sit with my friends. I knew I wouldn't be able to laugh at any of Kristy’s nauseating jokes about the cafeteria food, or pay attention to Dawn when she talked about some cute boy in one

of her classes. I also didn't want to face Logan, and explain why I hadn't come to the phone the night before. It was easier to hide out in the library, reading Wuthering Heights for the millionth time and nibbling at my sandwich.

When school ended, I told Dawn I wouldn't be walking home with her because I wanted to clean out my locker. She gave me a weird look, but luckily she didn't question me. I dawdled for as long as I could, and then walked home slowly, kicking a stone the whole way. When I got home, I went right to my room and stayed there, patting Tigger and staring out the window over my bed.

At five o'clock I heard a knock on my door. "Mary Anne," said Dawn. "It's almost time for our meeting. Want to walk over to Claud's with me?"

Oh, no. Of course, it was Wednesday. I'd forgotten that we had a BSC meeting. Now I was going to have to sit in Claud's room and pretend everything was normal. I knew there was no way I could get out of going; I'd been at school that day, so I couldn't pretend to be sick. But I did not want to walk to BSC headquarters with Dawn and have her question me about my weird behavior.

"No, I'm finishing up my book report," I lied. "I'll ride my bike over as soon as I'm done."

"Okay, see you there," she said. I heard her run down the stairs. I almost called after her, to ask her to wait for me. I had a sudden impulse to tell her everything. Maybe I would be relieved to talk about it. But then I heard the front door slam, and the impulse passed. Better to keep it to myself for now, I figured. I didn't want to deal with other people feeling sorry for me — I was having enough trouble dealing with my own feelings.

I lay staring into space for another fifteen minutes, and then realized I'd better get going if I didn't want Kristy to be mad at me. She hates when any of us members is late for a BSC meeting. I hopped onto my bike and pedaled over to Claud's, headed inside (none of us have to knock, we're expected), and sprinted up the stairs. I arrived in Claud's room a little out of breath, but just in time to hear Kristy say, "Order!"

Kristy was sitting in the director's chair, as she always does. She nodded at me as I took my regular seat on Claud's bed, between Dawn (who was wearing her new turquoise jumpsuit) and Claudia. Stacey (wearing the pink twin to Dawn's jumpsuit) was sitting in Claud's desk chair, drawing on her sneaker with a fancy felt-tip pen. Jessi and Mal sat near her. Jessi was putting tiny braids into Mal's hair. "This'll look incredibly cool after you

sleep with them in," she said. 'Trust me."

"I trust you," said Mal. "I just don't trust my hair. I never know what if 11 do."

"Ahem," said Kristy. I could tell she was about to make some official-sounding statement about the meeting having begun, but just then the phone rang. Kristy, Stacey, and Claud all dove for it. I just sat there.

"Hello?" said Stacey. She'd grabbed the phone first. "Baby-sitters Club." She listened for a moment. "Sure, Mrs. Rodowsky. We'll call you right back." She hung up. "Mrs. Rodowsky needs a sitter for Friday afternoon and evening."

There was a silence. I realized everyone was looking at me, as though they expected something of me. I blanked out for a second.

"Mary Anne," said Kristy. "We're waiting."

Waiting? For what? I looked down at my hands, trying to gather my thoughts. Then I saw the record book, which was sitting on my lap. I felt like a total jerk. "Uh, just a second," I said, flipping it open. "That's Thursday the twelfth, right?"

"Not Thursday," said Kristy. "Friday. Mary Anne, what's the matter? Are you okay?" She looked at me closely.

"I'm fine," I said. "Just fine. Now, let's see. It looks like Jessi and Dawn are the only ones available."

"But I can't do it," said Jessi. "It's not just for the afternoon, and I'm not allowed to sit at night."

"Oh, right," I said. "Okay, then, so Dawn has the job." I marked her name into the calendar, and Stacey called Mrs. Rodowsky back.

I looked up and saw that Kristy was still looking at me. She seemed puzzled. "Mary Anne, you're off in outer space," she said. "What's up?"

It figures that the one time Kristy would decide to be extra-sensitive would be the one time I didn't wish to talk about my problems. "I'm really fine," I insisted. I gave her my best "corners-up" smile.

"I thought she'd had a fight with Logan," said Dawn. "She's been like this since last night. But I talked to him today, and he said they were getting along just fine." She shook her head.

"Maybe she's upset about something that happened at school," suggested Jessi.

"No, she'd have told me," said Dawn.

I listened to them talk about me as if I weren't there. And you know what? It didn't really even bother me, because I felt like I wasn't there. Pretty soon the phone rang, and they dropped the issue.

"Mrs. Perkins!" said Claud, who had answered the phone. "How are the girls? I

haven't seen them in a long time." She listened for a minute. "Myriah has a loose tooth," she told the rest of us, relaying the information, "and Gabbie and Laura just got over the chicken pox." She listened again. "Sure," she said. "I'll get back to you in a minute." She turned to me. "Mary Anne," she said, "Mrs. Perkins is looking for somebody for Saturday — not Friday, but Saturday — afternoon." Her eyes twinkled- She was making fun of me, in a friendly sort of a way.

I checked the schedule, told her who was available, and penciled in Mal's name once we'd decided that she should have the job. I was beginning to function a little better.

"I hear Myriah's class is doing a great project for Heritage Day," said Stacey. "They're going to make a mural about Old Stoneybrook, and it's going to be on display at the fair. Some of the fifth-graders are helping them."

"You know," said Kristy, "I've been thinking about Heritage Day. The reason for having it is to raise money for the Historical Society, right?"

"That’s true," said Claud. "I'd kind of forgotten about that. Everybody's so caught up in their projects that the fund-raising has almost been forgotten. But my mom says the Historical Society really needs money for renovating that old sawmill."

"Well," said Kristy. "I think the BSC should contribute somehow. Like have some kind of a booth."

"Great idea!" said Claud. "How about a face-painting booth? I love painting little kids' faces, and they look so neat walking around afterward."