Andy Stanton - Mr Gum and the Secret Hideout

For Leah Thaxton, Katie Bennett and the amazing David Tazzyman

Mr Gum and the Secret Hideout First published 2010 by Egmont UK Limited This edition published 2019 by Egmont UK Limited, The Yellow Building,1 Nicholas Road London W11 4AN

Text copyright © 2010 Andy Stanton

Illustration copyright © 2010 David Tazzyman

The moral rights of the author and illustrator have been asserted

First e-book edition 2019

ISBN 978 1 4052 9376 1

eISBN 978 1 4052 5934 7

mrgum.co.uk www.egmont.co.uk

A CIP catalogue record for this title is available from the British Library Printed and bound in Great Britain by the CPI Group

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, or stored in a database or retrieval system, without the prior written permission of the publisher.

Stay safe online. Any website addresses listed in this book are correct at the time of going to print. However, Egmont is not responsible for content hosted by third parties. Please be aware that online content can be subject to change and websites can contain content that is unsuitable for children. We advise that all children are supervised when using the internet.

Egmont takes its responsibility to the planet and its inhabitants very seriously. We aim to use papers from well-managed forests run by responsible suppliers.

Read all of Andy Stanton’s books!

You’re a Bad Man, MR GUM!

MR GUM and the Biscuit Billionaire

MR GUM and the Goblins

MR GUM and the Power Crystals

MR GUM and the Dancing Bear

What’s for Dinner, MR GUM?

MR GUM and the Cherry Tree

MR GUM and the Secret Hideout

Cover

Title Page

Dedication

Copyright For Leah Thaxton, Katie Bennett and the amazing David Tazzyman Mr Gum and the Secret Hideout First published 2010 by Egmont UK Limited This edition published 2019 by Egmont UK Limited, The Yellow Building,1 Nicholas Road London W11 4AN Text copyright © 2010 Andy Stanton Illustration copyright © 2010 David Tazzyman The moral rights of the author and illustrator have been asserted First e-book edition 2019 ISBN 978 1 4052 9376 1 eISBN 978 1 4052 5934 7 mrgum.co.uk www.egmont.co.uk A CIP catalogue record for this title is available from the British Library Printed and bound in Great Britain by the CPI Group All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, or stored in a database or retrieval system, without the prior written permission of the publisher. Stay safe online. Any website addresses listed in this book are correct at the time of going to print. However, Egmont is not responsible for content hosted by third parties. Please be aware that online content can be subject to change and websites can contain content that is unsuitable for children. We advise that all children are supervised when using the internet. Egmont takes its responsibility to the planet and its inhabitants very seriously. We aim to use papers from well-managed forests run by responsible suppliers.

Front series promotional page Read all of Andy Stanton’s books! You’re a Bad Man, MR GUM! MR GUM and the Biscuit Billionaire MR GUM and the Goblins MR GUM and the Power Crystals MR GUM and the Dancing Bear What’s for Dinner, MR GUM? MR GUM and the Cherry Tree MR GUM and the Secret Hideout

1 The Secret Hideout

2 The Department of Clouds and Yogurts

3 The Badsters Yick it Up

4 ’Vestigations and Birdseed

5 Down by the Riverside

6 The Midnight Meating

7 Prisoners!

8 Ship’s Biscuit

9 The Captain and Elizabeth

10 Old Granny on the Hoof

11 Mr Gum Gets a Surprise

12 Clouds of Sorrow, Clouds of Joy

EPILOGUE

THE END

About the Illustrator

About the Author

PRAISE FOR Mr Gum

Some of the crazy old townsfolk from Lamonic Bibber

Mr Gum was a fierce old blister with a face as angry as a thousand walnuts and a big red beard which smelt of menace and beer. He hated children, animals, fun, comics, pop music, birthday parties, books, Christmas, the seaside, computer games, people called ‘Colin’, Mondays, Tuesdays, Wednesdays, Thursdays, Fri– Actually, it would probably be quicker to tell you what he liked instead. What he liked was snoozing in bed all day, being a horror and secret hideouts. And the secret hideout he was in right now was the best secret hideout he’d ever seen.

‘This secret hideout’s flippin’ brilliant!’ shouted Mr Gum as he paced up and down in his hobnail boots. ‘It’s got everythin’! Rats! Cockroaches! Pipes what keep drippin’ slime everywhere! An’ it stinks! It’s like what I always imagined Heaven would be! An’ best of all, no one’s ever gonna find us here!’

‘Yeah,’ agreed Mr Gum’s dreadful accomplice, a scrawny butcher by the name of Billy William the Third. Billy was standing by a great iron furnace, shovelling old bits of meat on to the flames. And not just any old old bits of meat, but the stalest, grubbiest, most appalling specimens imaginable. Strings of ancient entrails, withered old horse legs, rubbery turkey necks …

On they all went, on to the flames. Billy was covered in soot and he was dripping with gobs of hot fat, but he hardly noticed. And why? I don’t know, I’m not him. He just didn’t.

‘Faster!’ commanded Mr Gum, hopping from one foot to the other like an unstoppable quail. ‘Shovel them entrails, Billy me boy! Chuck it on, chuck it on! An’ stoke it all up with coal or I’ll bash ya!’

‘Right you are, Gummy me old rattler!’ laughed Billy, chucking on a piece of coal that was twice the size of a piece of coal that was half the size of the piece of coal I’m talking about.

ROAR!bellowed the furnace. A great long lick of flame flicked out and singed off Billy’s eyebrows, cruel as a scarlet donkey.

‘Ha ha ha!’ cackled Billy, who loved to see people getting hurt. ‘Someone jus’ got their eyebrows burned off!’ Then he realised who that someone was, and he let out a bloodcurdling howl.

‘OOW!’yelled Billy, hopping up and down in agony. ‘How come I gotta do all the shovellin’ ‘round here anyway? How come you ain’t doin’ none?’