Meg Cabot - Boy Meets Girl

One thing Mitch mentioned that I almost forgot: Isn’t it true that your grandfather left each of his grandchildren two hundred thousand dollars, to be held in trust until they turn eighteen?

Well, aren’t you nineteen?

If your parents continue to refuse to pay for your schooling, couldn’t you use the money your grandfather left you to pay for it yourself?

Just a thought.

Hope to see you again soon.

Kate

To: Jason Trent

Fr: Stacy Trent

Re: Janice

Look, it would only be a couple of weeks. You know the kids love her. So what’s the big deal? I’ll ask her to wear headphones if she’s going to put on any Tori Amos. Don’t be so unreasonable. I put up with YOUR relatives all the time.

Stacy

P.S. We’re out of Honey Nut Cheerios.

To: Stacy Trent

Fr: Jason Trent

Re: Janice

Excuse me, but none of MY relatives are likely to quote Ani Di Franco at the dinner table. All of MY relatives are in jail, where they belong.

You’re asking too much, Stace. I mean, what are you going to do when Haley and Brittany want to start dyeing THEIR hair green, too?

Jason

P.S. We employ an au pair, a gardener, a housekeeper, a pool boy, and a cook. None of THEM can run out to the store to get Honey Nut Cheerios? I have to stop and get them on my way home? What do we pay THEM for?

To: Jason Trent

Fr: Stacy Trent

Re: Janice

Excuse me, we entertain your brother and his wife and child nearly once a week. HE is not in jail.

And if Haley or Brittany end up wanting to dye their hair green, we’ll tell them they can, when they are Janice’s age.

Come on, Jason, this is important. Not just because I think Mom is going to pay somebody to kidnap Janice and have her sent to Utah for deprogramming, but because I think Mitch finally met a girl he really likes. He just needs some time alone with her to . . . you know.

S

P.S. God, it’s just a box of cereal, what is your problem?

To: Stacy Trent

Fr: Jason Trent

Re: Janice

Oh, so now I’m supposed to let your sister live with us so your brother can get laid? I’ll tell you what, Janice can come to stay if you promise SHE’LL get the Cheerios. But she’s not driving the Range Rover!

Jason

To: Katydid

Fr: Jen Sadler

Re: You

Haven’t heard from you in a while. What are you doing? Has he called yet?

The T.O.D. is on a full-scale rampage today. She’s already made the receptionists cry. She told them they couldn’t do the filing anymore for overtime, they have to file during office hours. They want to know how they are supposed to be in the file room AND answer the phones at the desk, and the T.O.D. just said, “Work it out,” and slammed her office door.

If she doesn’t watch it, people are going to start burning her in effigy.

Where are you, anyway? I called and got no answer.

J

To: Jen Sadler

Fr: Katydid

Re: Me

I just went out to grab the paper. You know. That whole job thing?

Is Steph

Oh, crap, the doorman’s buzzing, hold on.

East Side Floral Company

“Say it with Flowers”

1125 York Avenue • New York New York, 10028.

To: Kate Mackenzie care of Dolly Vargas. 610 East End Avenue, Penthouse A.

Thanks for everything the other night. You were great with Janice. Can we try dinner again sometime? Soon?

signed, Mitch

Sleaterkinneyfan:

Whadja get?

Sleaterkinneyfan:

Are you crazy? Don’t IM me. You’re at work, you’re going to get fired, just like me.

Sleaterkinneyfan:

Are you kidding? With you gone, Amy’s having to take on the LZs until we find a replacement. She’s got so many PAFs to get through, she can’t even find a spare moment to plan her reception. It’s killing her. I’ve never been more assured of my job security. Now spill. Whadja get????

Sleaterkinneyfan:

Oh. Flowers.

Sleaterkinneyfan:

FROM HIM??????

Sleaterkinneyfan:

Yes.

Sleaterkinneyfan:

Describe.

Sleaterkinneyfan:

Yellow roses this time. Two dozen.

Sleaterkinneyfan:

Um, if you don’t want him, I’ll take him.

Sleaterkinneyfan:

Back off! You’re married.

Sleaterkinneyfan:

Trade?

Sleaterkinneyfan:

Um, no, thank you.

Sleaterkinneyfan:

Bitch. So now what are you going to do?

Sleaterkinneyfan:

I don’t know. Look for a job?

Sleaterkinneyfan:

I MEAN ABOUT THE BOY!!!!!!!!

Sleaterkinneyfan:

Remember Professor Wingblade?

Sleaterkinneyfan:

How could I forget? You only quote him every five minutes.

Sleaterkinneyfan:

Well, remember how he said before you can learn to love someone else, you have to learn to love yourself?

Sleaterkinneyfan:

No. I never went to his stupid class. You didn’t have to. All the test questions were multiple choice and were straight out of the back of the book.

Sleaterkinneyfan:

Well, he used to say that. And the thing is . . . I think he’s right.

Sleaterkinneyfan:

God, eat some chocolate and get over it.

Sleaterkinneyfan:

I’m serious! I know it’s wrong to define yourself by your job, but, Jen, I kind of did, and now, without it . . . I just don’t know why I’m even here. On this planet, I mean.

Sleaterkinneyfan:

Oh my God. You SO need chocolate.

Sleaterkinneyfan:

I’m serious. I don’t want to make another mistake about a guy. Not after what happened with Dale. I mean, I really thought the two of us were going to get married.

Sleaterkinneyfan:

Okay, okay. I’m not saying you should move in with the guy. But you could call him, at least. And thank him for the flowers.

Sleaterkinneyfan:

I guess.

Sleaterkinneyfan:

And ask him over. And take a bubble bath with him in Dolly’s Jacuzzi.

Sleaterkinneyfan:

JEN!!!!!!!! I’m SERIOUS!!!!!!!!! Meet me at Lupe’s after work so we can talk about it?

Sleaterkinneyfan:

Uh. Can’t.

Sleaterkinneyfan:

Why?

Sleaterkinneyfan:

Previous engagement. Sorry. Take a rain check?

Katydid:

Oh my God. You’ve found a new best friend. I’m out of the office for a few days, and you’ve gone and found a new best friend!

Sleaterkinneyfan:

Yeah, that’s it, all right. I’m going out with my new best friend. God, get a grip. Look, I have to go, my 4:30’s here. Talk to you later.

Sleaterkinneyfan:

logged off

To: Orin Wingblade

Fr: Kate Mackenzie

Re: Life

Dear Professor Wingblade,

You probably don’t remember me. My name is Kate Mackenzie. I was in your Soc 101 and 102 class several years ago.

I just wanted you to know that I did graduate and went on to a career in social work. I wanted to “make a difference,” the way you urged us all to. I was employed by the city (of New York) social work department for a year before I realized that it wasn’t working out.

Professor Wingblade, it pains me to say this, but I really don’t think that one person CAN make a difference. I’ve tried and tried. Back when I worked for Child Protective Services, I tried, and more recently, when I worked for the HR department of a major New York newspaper, I tried.