Meg Cabot - Boy Meets Girl

Or knock on doors.

Fundraising/Devmt EOE MFDVSO. THE LESBIAN, GAY, BISEXUAL & TRANSGENDER COMMUNITY CENTER Seeking exp'd counselors. Post-op transgenders preferred. Qualified applicants should fax cover letter stating sal history & desired pos: 212-555-2657

Great. The only way I’d qualify for this one is if I turn into a she-male.

ELECTRICIAN Expd Mechanic w/ following skills: Plan-install-wiring for installation of panels, fixtures, outlets, comm’l air conditioning & refrigeration, low voltage wiring, intercoms, security & fire alarm systems, motor controls & installing motors, fans & pumps. $1000+ week. Fx res: 212-555-1460

WHY didn’t I become an electrician?????

HEALTH FOOD HELP—PT/FT

Produce workers/Deli Juice Bar Person & Cashier wtd. Health Food Store Exp. Required. No Phone Calls. Please apply at Yoga Yogurt, 229 W. 13th St (btw 7th & 8th Ave)

Food service. Might as well move back to Kentucky and ask if I can have my old job at Rax Roast Beef.

LIFEGUARDS Wanted—

Free conditioning & training for great summer lifeguard jobs at NYC beaches and pools. Employment after successful completion of training course, final test and background check. By date of hire must be 16+. Call 212-555-7880 EOE

Ha! I WISH!

To: Jen Sadler

Fr: Mitchell Hertzog

Re: Kate

Hi, Jen. I tried to call, but all I got was your voice mail.

Have you heard from Kate this morning? How’s she doing? I e-mailed her, but I haven’t heard back.

Let me know if you’ve heard anything.

Mitch

To: Mitchell Hertzog

Fr: Jen Sadler

Re: Kate

She’s fine. Ornery, but fine.

I don’t think it will come as too much of a shock to you if I tell you that you are not one of her favorite people this morning, either. She doesn’t seem to remember too much about what happened last night. How are your shoes, anyway?

J

To: Jen Sadler

Fr: Mitchell Hertzog

Re: Kate

My shoes are fine. And it’s great to hear that Kate’s all right. Not so great, you know, that she hates my guts, but I can’t say I blame her.

Listen, do you have access to Kate’s computer at work? I was wondering if you’d be willing to commit a little white-collar crime for me. Nothing major, just check Kate’s e-mail IN box and see if that note from Amy Jenkins—the one telling Kate to quit writing the warning letter to Ida Lopez—is still there. Could you do that for me, and let me know? I’d appreciate it.

Mitch

To: Mitchell Hertzog

Fr: Jen Sadler

Re: Kate

Sorry to be the one to break it to you, but Kate’s workstation has been cleared, and her computer’s hard drive replaced. Amy got in here first thing after lunch yesterday and made sure the place was denuded of any sign that Kate Mackenzie ever worked here. Her files have been confiscated as well. My guess is, they’ve already met their fate with the office shredder. Amy is pretty thorough in her ruthless quest for total domination over the HR division of this company.

So unless Kate printed out a copy of her e-mail from Amy and took it home—which is exceedingly doubtful, knowing Kate, who likes to keep her work and home life separate—I’m sorry to say it’s gone, never to be seen again.

Nice try, though, Romeo.

J

To: Jen Sadler

Fr: Mitchell Hertzog

Re: Kate

I’m not giving up that easily. Give me the name and number of your IT guy, will you, Jen? Thanks.

Mitch

To: Mitchell Hertzog

Fr: Tim Grabowski

Re: Kate

Got your message. Just tried calling but I got your voicemail.

Anyway, in answer to your question, the only way I could read Amy Jenkins’s e-mail is through her computer. All of our e-mail is sent through a POP server. The mail program automatically downloads mail from the server to the sender’s hard disk, then it erases them from the server, so the only way to get to the sent e-mail is to go onto the hard drive of the computer from which it was sent.

Which, unless you’ve got a key to Amy’s office, is going to be next to impossible.

Wish I could be more help. Kate’s a cute kid, and we’re all just crushed over what’s happened. If you talk to her, tell her that the next Farscape marathon is at Raj’s. She’ll know what I mean.

Tim

To: Kate Mackenzie

Fr: Tim Grabowski

Re: You

Hey, what’s up with you and Dylan McDermott? You two an item yet, or what? I hope so. That guy is seriously easy on the eyes. But what’s with the Superfriends ties? Hermès is so much classier.

Still, he seems to really like you. At least he really wants to help you get your job back, which is the same thing, practically. Got a message from him.

Invite me to the wedding?

Miss ya.

Tim

To: Jen Sadler

Fr: Kate Mackenzie

Re: Mitch

What is going on with Mitch and IT? Tim just said Mitch had been in touch with him. Come on. Spill. You know you can’t keep a secret.

Kate

P.S. On my way to get a paper, I nearly got hit by a cab, and I didn’t even care. Seriously. It was like, Oh, look, this cab is about to hit me. But I wasn’t scared or anything. Because what would it matter if I died? Without my job, I have nothing to contribute to society anyway. I MIGHT AS WELL BE DEAD.

I was saved from the brink of death at the last minute by a Chinese food delivery man who pulled me back onto the curb. But still.

To: Kate Mackenzie

Fr: Jen Sadler

Re: Mitch

That taxicab story is horrifying, but it is not going to induce me to tell you what Mitch wanted.

He made me promise not to tell.

But I swear to you, Kate, this guy’s only got what’s best for you in mind. He’s the real deal.

You might want to rethink the suicide-by-cab thing. Just FYI.

J

To: Jen Sadler

Fr: Kate Mackenzie

Re: He’s the real deal

Sure, that’s what they all say. Excuse me if I take this opportunity to barf some more. Oh, hold on, the doorman is buzzing. Flowers being delivered from Skiboy for Dolly, no doubt.

Hey, do you have to tip flower delivery guys?

Kate

To: Kate Mackenzie

Fr: Jen Sadler

Re: Flower Delivery

Yes, you have to tip them. Two or three bucks, at least. Hasn’t anyone ever sent you flowers before?

And how do you know they’re from Skiboy? Maybe they’re from the great Peter Hargrave himself. Call me and describe them, as Craig hasn’t sent me flowers since we got married, and I’ve forgotten what they look like.

East Side Floral Company

“Say it with Flowers”

1125 York Avenue • New York New York, 10028.

To: Kate Mackenzie care of Dolly Vargas. 610 East End Avenue, Penthouse A.

Forgive me?

Mitch

J

To: Jen Sadler

Fr: Kate Mackenzie

Re: Flower Delivery

Roses. Two dozen of them. Pink ones.

From Mitch.

Like I’m just supposed to forget he got me fired.

Still. It’s sweet of him. Considering I barfed on his shoes and all.

Kate

To: Kate Mackenzie

Fr: Jen Sadler

Re: Flower Delivery

So are you going to have dinner with him, or not?

J

To: Jen Sadler

Fr: Kate Mackenzie

Re: Dinner

Like a few flowers are going to make everything okay? I am so not having dinner with him.

Please.

No way.

Kate

To: Mitchell Hertzog

Fr: Kate Mackenzie

Re: Hi

Hi, Mitch. I tried calling your office just now, but your assistant says you’re out. Anyway, I just wanted to say thank you for the flowers. They’re beautiful.

Thanks also for helping me last night . . . that is, Jen told me you helped. I don’t actually remember it very well, except the part where I heaved on your shoes. Sorry about that. Every time you come near me you seem to get sprayed with something, don’t you? Like I’m Mount St. Helens or something.