Meg Cabot: Princess on the Brink

Still, it’s not easy having a conversation with him. I find it endlessly fascinating, of course. But he’s MY brother. Listen to how patient Michael is being! Rocky is just saying “truck,” over and over again, and Michael is going, “Yes. That’s a very nice truck,” in the sweetest way. He’d make such a good dad! Not that I have any intention of having children until I’ve finished college and joined the Peace Corps and put an end to global warming, of course.

Still, it’s good to know that when I’m ready, Michael will be up to the task.

Oh! I just snuck a peek at him! He looks sooo great, so tall and handsome and dark and broad-shouldered and oh! I think he just shaved and I can’t believe it’s been a whole MONTH since I saw him and…

Oh my God. My hair is shorter than his.

MY HAIR IS SHORTER THAN MY BOYFRIEND’S.

What have I done?

Tuesday, September 7, kitchen of Number One Noodle Son

Okay.

Okay, I am trying to understand this.

That’s why I asked Kevin Yang if I could sit here in the kitchen for a few minutes. Because I just need a little time to myself to figure this out. And there’s someone in the ladies’ room. Someone who apparently doesn’t realize there are girls out here whose lives are falling apart and who need to pretend to wash their hands so they can figure out what to do about it.

And okay, it’s kind of busy and hot and crowded back here, because Kevin’s got all ninety of his cousins working, and it’s the dinner rush, and everyone seems to have ordered the Peking duck. So everywhere I look, all I can see are smiling duck heads.

But at least I can catch my breath for a minute and try to understand what’s going on.

I just don’t get it.

Oh, not about Michael’s reaction to my hair. I mean, he wassurprised to see that it was so short.

But, like, not displeased. He said I looked cute—like Natalie Portman when she played Evey Hammond inV for Vendetta .

And he gave me a big hug and a kiss. And then a BIGGER hug and a kiss when we were out in the hallway and Mom and Mr. G weren’t there and Lars was still putting on his shoulder holster. I got to smell Michael’s neck, and I swear, every synapse in my brain must have shot out a megadose of serotonin because of his pheromones, because I felt so relaxed and happy afterward.

And I cantell he feels the same way about me. He held my hand the whole stroll to the restaurant, and we talked about everything that had happened since we last saw each other—Grandmère getting kicked out of the Plaza and Lilly going blond (I didn’t ask him if he thought Lilly and J.P. had Done It when J.P. went to their country house for the weekend, because I try to avoid discussions involving sex, since it only seems to remind Michael that we’re not having it, and inflame his desire) and Rocky’s dexterity with his Tonka truck and the Drs. Moscovitz and their quasi-getting-back-together.

And when we got to the restaurant, Rosey, the hostess, sat us at our usual table by the window, and invited Lars to sit up at the bar with her, where he could watch me and the baseball game at the same time.

And we ordered my favorite, cold sesame noodles, and Michael’s favorite, barbecued spare ribs, and we split a hot and sour soup and Michael had kung pao chicken and I had sautéed string beans and then I said, “So when are you moving into the dorm? Hasn’t school started already?” and Michael said, “I’ve been meaning to talk to you about that. That’s what I wanted to wait to tell you in person.”

And I was like, “Oh, yeah?” thinking he was going to say something like he was getting his own apartment because he was tired of sharing a room with another guy, or maybe that he was moving in with his dad because Mr. Dr. Moscovitz was so lonely. In fact, I was so confident that whatever Michael was about to say was going to be no big deal that I took a giant bite of cold sesame noodles, right before he said:

“Remember that project I was working on this summer? The robotic arm?”

“The one with which doctors can perform closed-chest surgery on a beating heart?” I said, around the noodles. “Uh-huh.”

“Well,” Michael said. “I have some really good news: It works. At least, the prototype does. And my professor was so impressed, he told a colleague of his over at a company in Japan about it—a company that is attempting to perfect robotic surgical systems that can work unassisted by surgeons—and his colleague wants me to go to Japan and see if we can construct an actual working model for use in the operating room.”

“Wow,” I said, swallowing my noodles, and going for another huge mouthful. I mean, I was pretty much starving. I hadn’t had anything to eat since my three-bean salad at lunch. Oh, and some totally awesome wasabi peas in Grandmère’s hotel room (which she tried and freaked out over. “WHERE ARE THE CANDIED ALMONDS?” she screamed at that Robert guy. Poor thing.). “So, like, when would you go? Some weekend, or something?”

“No,” Michael said, shaking his head. “You don’t understand. It wouldn’t be for just a weekend. It would be until the project is completed. My professor has arranged for me to receive full course credits, as well as a significant stipend, while I’m away.”

“So.” Man, those noodles were good. One of the many lousy things about spending the summer in Genovia—no cold sesame noodles. “Like a week?”

“Mia,” Michael said. “Just the prototype took all summer. Building an actual working model, with a console containing a real-time MRI, real-time CT scanner, and real-time X ray could take up to a year. Or more. But it’s a fantastic opportunity—one I can’t turn down. Something I designed could potentially help to save thousands of lives. And I need to be there to make sure it happens.”

Wait. A year? Or MORE?

Of course, I started choking on my cold sesame noodles, and Michael had to reach across the table and slap me on the back and I had to drink both my ice water and his Coke before I could breathe again.

And when I could breathe, all I seemed able to say was, “What? WHAT?” over and over again.

And even though Michael was trying to explain—as patiently as if I were Rocky showing him my truck over and over—all I could hear inside my head was “could take up to a year. Or more. But it’s a fantastic opportunity—one I can’t turn down. Could take up to a year. Or more. But it’s a fantastic opportunity—one I can’t turn down.”

Michael is moving to Japan. For a year. Or more.

He leaves Friday.

You can see why I had to excuse myself. Because in what universe does something like this make any sense? In Bizarro Universe, maybe. But not MY universe. Not the universe Michael and I share.

Or the one I used to think we shared.

Even as the words were still batting around in my mind—could take up to a year. Or more. But it’s a fantastic opportunity—one I can’t turn down—and I was like, “Wow, Michael. That is so great. I’m so happy for you,” this voice in my head was going,

“Is it because of ME?”

And then, somehow, the voice got OUTSIDE of my head, and before I could stuff them back, the words were coming out of my mouth: “Is it because of ME?”

And Michael blinked and was like, “What?”

It was a total nightmare. Because even though, inside my head, I was like, “Shut up. Shut up. Shut up,” my mouth seemed to have a will of its own. A second later, before I could stop it, my mouth was going, “Is it because of me? Are you moving to Japan because I did something?” And then my mouth went, “Or DIDN’T do something?”

And I wanted to shove all the cold sesame noodles in the world into it, just to shut myself up.

But Michael was already shaking his head. “No, of course not. Mia, don’t you see? This is such an incredible opportunity. This company already has mechanical engineers working on drafts of my design. MY design. Something I made, which could change the course of modern surgery as we know it. Of course I have to be there.”