Meg Cabot: Princess on the Brink

“James Franco!” Lilly burst out. “Well. Whatever. James Francois pretty cute.”

“Not as cute as Michael,” I said.

“Ew,” Lilly said, but only because she routinely saysew to any reference to her brother being cute.

Then, since she was feeling so bad for me and all, I figured I might as well take advantage of the situation. So I went, “Did you and J.P. sleep together this summer, or what?”

But Lilly just laughed.

“Nice try, POG,” she said. “But I don’t feel THAT sorry for you.”

Dang.

Wednesday, September 8, Intro to Creative Writing

Describe a scene outside your window:

The young girl sits on the swing, her heart heavy, her eyes swollen with tears. The world as she’s known it has ceased to exist. She will never again know what it is to laugh with childish abandon, because her childhood is behind her. Crushed hopes and disappointed dreams will be her constant companions now that the love of her life has flown. She raises her eyes to watch a plane as it soars across the brilliantly lit sky, the sun sinking in the west. Is that the plane carrying away her love? Probably. It disappears into the crimson sunset.

F–

Mia, when I said describe a scene outside your window, I meant for you to describe something youactually see outside your window , such as a Dumpster or bodega. I did not want you to make up some scene. And I know you made up the scene above because there is no way you could have known what the girl on the swing (if you can even see swings from your window, which I doubt, since I happen to know you live in NoHo and there are no swings there that I am aware of ) was thinking unless that girl happened to be you, in which case you could not have seen her because you cannot see yourself, except in mirrors. Please redo this, actually following the assignment this time. I make these assignments for a reason, and I expect you to complete them AS WRITTEN.

—C. Martinez

Wednesday, September 8, English

Mia!!! I heard. Are you all right????

Honestly, T. I just don’t know.

But you realize it’s a GOOD thing. I mean, for Michael.

I know.

And you can always go visit him! I mean, you have your own jet!!!

Oh, right. That’ll happen.

Wait—are you being sarcastic?

Yes, I’m being sarcastic. My dad is never going to let me go to Japan, Tina. Not to see Michael.

Well, then get him to let you go to visit the princess of Japan—you’re friends with her, right? I mean, you really like her kid. And then while you’re there, you can see Michael.

Thanks, Tina. It doesn’t actually work that way, but it doesn’t matter anyway. Because whenever I get time off from school, I have to go to Genovia. Remember? Besides, the truth is, even if I went to Japan, I’m not so sure Michael would want to see me.

What? Of course he would! What are you talking about?

He’s not JUST going for his robotic arm thingie. He’s also going to get away from me.

What? That’s crazy! What makes you think THAT?

Because he SAID so. He said it’s really hard to be around me so much and not…you know.

Oh. My. God. That is the most romantic thing I have ever heard in my life!!!!!!!!!!

TINA!!! It is not romantic!!!!

He LOOOOOOVES you! You should be GLAD!!!

Glad that my boyfriend is moving to another country because he’s tired of taking so many cold showers? Yeah. Right.

You’re being sarcastic again, aren’t you?

Yes.

Mia, don’t you see? The whole thing is SOOOO romantic: Michael is just like Aragorn fromThe Lord of the Rings.Remember when Aragorn was all in love with Arwen, but he didn’t feel worthy of her, because she was an elfin princess, and her dad wouldn’t let him marry her until he’d reclaimed his throne and proved he was more than just some mortal guy?

Um. Yeah.

MICHAEL IS RECLAIMING HIS THRONE SO HE CAN PROVE HE IS WORTHY OF YOU!!!!! JUST LIKE ARAGORN. And, okay, he’s doing it by inventing something none of us understand except him. But that doesn’t matter. He’s DOING IT FOR YOU.

And the thousands of people whose lives might be saved by it. And the millions of dollars he could potentially make if it works.

But don’t you see? All of that is part of what he’s doing FOR YOU.

But I don’tcare about any of that stuff, Tina. I mean, I want him to be happy, and all. But I would be happier if he’d just stay here so I could smell his neck every day!!!!

Well, you might have to sacrifice neck-smellage for a while in order for Michael to find self-actualization. I mean, in the long run, what he’s doing now will guarantee you constant neck-smellage in the future. If he becomes a millionaire, or whatever, there’s NO WAY your grandma or anyone else could stand in the way of the two of you being together, because you could just run off with him, even if you get cut off from your Genovian fortune or your dad makes you abdicate the throne, or whatever. See?

I guess. I just don’t see why he can’t achieve self-actualization here in AMERICA.

I don’t know either. But I do know that Michael loves you, and that’s all that matters!!!!!!!

Everything is so simple in Tinaland. I so wish I lived there instead of here, in the cruel, cold real world.

Wednesday, September 8, French

The thing is, deep down, I know Tina is right.

But I just can’t get as enthusiastic about it as she is. Maybe because Aragorn, even though he was faithful to Arwen while he was off finding himself and all, still had that thing going on with Eowyn. Whatever that was.

What’s to keep Michael from having the same kind of thing with some brilliant Japanese geisha/robotics engineer?

La speakerine de la chaine douze a dit, “Maintenant, vraies croyantes, un petit film—le premier film d’une serie de six. Mesdames, voici le film que vous avez attendu pour des semaines. Un film remarkable, un film qui a changé ma vie et la vie d’autres femmes tout le monde. Oui,Le Mérite Incroyable d’une Femme.”

61+56=117

I passed Lana in the hallway on the way to class, and she went, “Hey, Pete! How’s Neverland?” which made her new clone, as well as her evil henchwoman Trish, laugh so hard that Diet Coke came out of their noses.

I don’t know for sure, because I’ve never been able to get all the way throughThe Lord of the Rings due to the fact that there are hardly any parts with girl characters in them (so I had to pretend Merry was a girl hobbit), but I’m fairly certain this never happened to Arwen.

Wednesday, September 8, Lunch

So I was sitting here, innocently eating my falafel with tahini, when Ling Su sat down across from me, and went, “Mia. Howare you?” with her eyes all big and sympathetic.

I went, “Um. Fine.”

Then Perin sat down next to me and was like, “Mia. Weheard . Are you okay?”

God. News travels fast around this school.

“I’m fine,” I said, trying to smile bravely. Which is no joke when you’ve got a big wad of falafel in your mouth.

“I can’t believe it,” Shameeka said. She doesn’t even normally EAT at our table, since she’s usually too busy spying for us over at the jock/cheerleader table. But all of a sudden, she’d put her tray down next to Perin’s. “Is he really moving toJAPAN ?”

“Looks like it,” I said. It’s funny, but every time I hear the wordJapan now, my heart does this funny twisty thing. The way it used to when I heard the wordBuffy , back when the TV showBuffy the Vampire Slayer was ending.

“You should dump him,” Boris said after joining us.

“BORIS!” Tina looked shocked. “Mia, ignore him. He doesn’t know what he’s talking about.”

“Yes, I do,” Boris said. “I know exactly what I’m talking about. This happens in orchestras all the time. Two musicians fall in love, then one gets a better paying job at another rival orchestra in another city, or even another country. They always try to make it work—the long-distance thing—but it never does. Sooner or later one of them always falls in love with a clarinetist, and that’s it. Long-distance relationships never work. You should dump him now, so it’s a nice clean break, and move on. End of story.”