Meg Cabot - Third Time Lucky

complaints the fact that the teachers in this school have favourites. I mean, just because a girl knows how to clone things

doesn't mean she should be allowed to roam the school freely any time she wants.

But there she was when I walked in, and there's no doubt about it: Judith Gershner has a total crush on Michael. I don't really know how he feels about her, but she was wearing tan-coloured pantyhose instead of the black cotton tights she normally wears, so you know something is up. No girl wears tan pantyhose without a good reason.

And, OK, so maybe they are working on their booth for the Winter Carnival, but that is no reason for Judith to drape her

arm across the back of Michael's chair like that. Plus he used to help me with my Algebra homework during G & T,

but now he can't because Judith is monopolizing all his time. I would think he might resent the intrusion.

Plus Judith really has no business butting into my private conversations. She hardly even knows me.

But did that stop her from observing, when she overheard Lilly's formal apology for not having believed me about Kenny's weird phone call - any doubts about the veracity of which he managed to scatter today with his display of unbridled passion

in the third-floor hallway - that she feels sorry for him? Oh, no.

'Poor kid,' Judith said. 'I heard what he said to you in the hallway. I was in the Chem. lab. What was it again? "I don't care if you don't feel the same way, Mia, I will always love you", or something like that?'

I didn't say anything. That's because I was busy picturing how Judith would look with a pencil sticking out of the middle of her forehead.

'It's really sweet,' Judith said. 'If you think about it. I mean, the guy's clearly got it bad for you.'

This is the problem, see. Everyone thinks that what Kenny did was so cute and everything. Nobody seems to understand that

it wasn't cute. It wasn't cute at all. It was completely humiliating. I don't think I've ever been so embarrassed in my whole life.

And, believe me, I've lived through more than my fair share of embarrassing incidents, especially since this whole princess

thing started.

But I'm apparently the only person in this entire school who thinks what Kenny did was the least bit wrong.

'He's obviously very in touch with his emotions.' Even Lilly was taking Kenny's side in the whole thing. 'Unlike some people.'

I have to say, this makes me so mad when I think about it because, the truth is, ever since I have started writing things down

in journals, I have gotten very in touch with my emotions. I usually know almost exactly how I feel.

The problem is, I just can't tell anyone.

I don't know who was the most surprised when Michael suddenly came to my defence against his sister - Lilly, Judith Gershner, or me.

'Just because Mia doesn't go around shouting about how she feels in the third-floor hallway,' Michael said, 'doesn't mean she isn't in touch with her emotions.'

How does he do that? How is it that he is able to magically put into words exactly what I feel but seem to have so much

trouble saying? This, you see, is why I love him. I mean, how could I not?

'Yeah,' I said triumphantly, to Lilly.

'Well, you could have said something back to him.' Lilly always gets disgruntled when Michael comes to my rescue especially when he does it while she is attacking me about the lack of honesty in my emotional life. 'Instead of just leaving him hanging there.'

'And what,' I demanded - injudiciously, I now realize -'should I have said to him?'

'How about,' Lilly said, 'that you love him back?'

WHY? That's all I want to know. WHY was I cursed with a best friend who doesn't understand that there are some things you just don't say in front of EVERYONE IN THE ENTIRE GIFTED AND TALENTED CLASSROOM, INCLUDING HER BROTHER????

The problem is, Lilly has never been embarrassed about anything in her life. She simply does not know the meaning of the

word embarrassment.

'Look,' I said, feeling my cheeks begin to burn. I couldn't lie, of course. How could I lie, considering what I now know about my nostrils? OK, Lilly hadn't figured it out yet, but it was only a matter of time.

'I really and truly value Kenny's companionship,' I said carefully. 'But love. I mean, love. That is a very big thing. I'm not, I mean, I don't. . . '

I dribbled off pathetically, acutely aware that everyone in the room, but most especially Michael, was listening.

'I see,' Lilly said, narrowing her eyes. 'Fear of commitment.'

'I do not fear commitment,' I insisted. 'I just—'

But Lilly's dark eyes were already shining in eager anticipation. She was getting ready to psychoanalyze me - one of her favourite hobbies, unfortunately.

'Let's examine the situation, shall we?' she said. 'I mean, here you've got this guy going around the hallways screaming about how much he loves you, and you just stare at him like a rat caught in the path of the D train. What do you suppose that means?'

'Have you ever considered,' I demanded, 'that maybe the reason I didn't tell him I love him back is because I—'

I almost said it. Really. I did. I almost said that I don't love Kenny.

But I couldn't. Because if I'd said that, somehow it would have gotten back to Kenny and that would be even worse than my breaking up with him. I couldn't do it.

So all I said instead was, 'Lilly, you know perfectly well I do not fear commitment. I mean, there are lots boys I—'

'Oh, yeah?' Lilly seemed to be enjoying herself way more than usual. It was almost as if she was playing to an audience.

Which, of course, she was. The audience of her brother and his girlfriend. 'Name one.'

'One what?'

'Name a boy that you could see yourself committing to for all eternity.'

'What do you want - a list?' I asked her.

'A list would be nice,' Lilly said.

So I drew up the following list:

Guys Mia Thermopolis Could See Herself Committing To for All Eternity

1. Wolverine of the X-men.

2. That Gladiator guy.

3. Will Smith.

4. Tarzan from the Disney cartoon.

5. The Beast from Beauty and the Beast.

6. That hot soldier guy from Mulan.

7. The guy Brendan Fraser played in The Mummy.

8. Angel.

9. Tom on Daria.

10. Justin Baxendale.

But this list turned out to be no good, because Lilly totally took it and analyzed it, and it works out that half the guys on it are actually cartoon characters; one is a vampire, and one is a mutant who can make spikes shoot out of his knuckles.

In fact, except for Will Smith and Justin Baxendale - the good-looking senior who just transferred from Trinity and who a lot

of girls at Albert Einstein High School are already in love with — all the guys I listed are fictional creations. Apparently, the

fact that I could list no guy I had a hope of actually getting together with - or who even lives in the third dimension — is indicative of something.

Not, of course, indicative of the fact that the guy I like was actually in the room at the time, sitting next to his new girlfriend,

and so I couldn't list him.

Oh, no. Nobody thought of that.

No, the lack of actual attainable men on my list was apparently indicative of my unrealistic expectations where men are concerned, and further proof of my inability to commit.

Lilly says if I don't lower my expectations somewhat I am destined for an unsatisfactory love life.

As if the way things have been going, I've ever expected anything else.

Kenny just tossed me this note:

Mia -I'm sorry about what happened today in the hattway. I understand now that I embarrassed you. Sometimes 1 forget that even though you are a princess, you are still quite introverted. 1 promise never to do anything of the sort again. Can 1 make it up to you by taking you to lunch at 'Big Wong on Thursday? - Kenny