Meg Cabot - Missing You

“I’ll kill him,” Rob said simply, when I was through.

“Well, you may have to stand in line,” I said, and told him about the girl we’d seen in Apartment 1S. “I don’t think Hannah’s taking off is going to upset him for long. Looked to me like he had plenty of other sweet young things to choose from.”

Rob gazed at me concernedly across the fruit bowl. “I don’t want Hannah to have to deal with cops and testifying and things like that. I mean…she’s only fifteen years old.”

“I thought that’s how you might feel about it,” I said, absently picking up some papers that had been lying farther down the table, since it hurt to meet his gaze. “Hey. What’s this?”

I held up the papers I had seized. They were a course catalog for Indiana University’s College of Arts and Sciences, and a slip of paper with various numbers written on it.

“My fall class schedule,” Rob said casually. “I’ve been taking night classes. You want another soda?”

“Sure,” I said, looking at the courses he’d listed. Intro to Comparative Lit. Freshman Psych. Biology 101. “Geez, Rob,” I said. “You own the garage, fix up old bikes, AND go to college part-time? And you thought you’d just add a teen kid sister to all of that?”

“I had it under control,” Rob said in a voice that indicated his jaw was gritted. “At least—”

“Until the kid sister came along,” I said. “Still. What were you thinking?”

“I didn’t think she’d be…well, the way she is.”

“What’d you THINK she’d be like?” I asked, taking the second can of soda from him.

“I thought she’d be more like you,” he said, causing me nearly to choke to death on what I’d just swallowed.

“ME?” I gurgled. “Oh my God, you have to be kidding me. I was the biggest pain in the ass in the world when I was her age.”

“That’s not how I remember it,” Rob said. But not in what I would call an affectionate manner.

“Yeah? Well, you can ask my parents,” I said.

“You weren’t like Hannah,” Rob said, shaking his head. “I mean, yeah, you got in trouble. But it was for punching people, not shacking up with guys you met on the Internet. You would never have…”

His voice trailed off. The only sound in the house was that of Hannah’s sobs, still coming loud and clear from what could only, I assumed, have been Rob’s old bedroom. He’d have moved into the master bedroom his mom used to sleep in. I was pretty sure it probably wasn’t pink anymore, either.

“Well,” I said, because I couldn’t, for the life of me, think of a solitary other thing to say. I mean, I wanted to ask him, of course. If what Hannah had said was true—about his having a scrapbook about me, and the part about me having broken his heart—

But Hannah had already told so many whoppers, it didn’t seem likely that the ones I wanted most to be true were actually going to be the only truths she’d told.

Especially since Rob wasn’t exactly giving off any Let’s-go-back-to-whatever-we-were vibes.

On the other hand, he HAD just found out his kid sister had been seduced by a twenty-seven-year-old Trans Am owner named Randy.

“I better go,” I said. “I’m sure Mom’s got dinner ready by now.”

“Sure,” Rob said. “I’ll walk you out.”

And the next thing I knew, we were strolling across his well-groomed lawn to my bike.

I wanted to ask him, then. You know, if it was one of his. But the truth was, a part of me already knew.

“She’s a beauty,” Rob said, nodding towards the bike.

“Blue Beauty,” I said automatically, before realizing how cheesy it would sound out loud.

“She runs good?” he asked.

“Like a kitten,” I said.

“I can’t believe somebody ever gave you a license,” he said with a chuckle.

“One of the few perks,” I said, “of working for the government.”

Then wished I hadn’t. Because Rob’s smile vanished.

“Right,” he said. “Well. Thank you. I mean, for bringing her back.”

I felt like a total and complete jackass. There was so much I wanted to say—so much I wanted to ask.

But all that came tumbling out of my mouth instead were the words, “I’m sorry.”

He looked down at me in the purpling light, as the sun sunk down below the treetops, past the fields that surrounded the farm.

“Sorry?” he asked. “For what?”

“For,” I said uncomfortably.For everything, I wanted to say.For being such a freak. For listening to my mother. For ever letting you out of my sight.

“For all that stuff I said to you last night” was what ended up coming out of my mouth. “For acting like such a total—um, überbitch, is how I believe your sister put it.”

Something happened to his face, then. It seemed to twitch, almost as if I’d slapped it.

But instead of looking angry about it, an expression of—well, something I couldn’t identify—spread across his face. And the next thing I knew, he had put his hand over mine, where it rested on the gearshift.

“Jess,” he said.

Who knows what would have happened next if he hadn’t been interrupted by a tinkling crash from the upstairs bedroom Hannah had locked herself inside? The crash was followed by an enraged scream. Hannah was having a tantrum.

The truth is, even if she hadn’t…well. I doubt anything would have happened next, anyway.

“You better go deal with that,” I said in a voice that didn’t sound much like my own. That’s on account of how dry my throat had grown, despite the two Cokes.

“Yeah,” Rob said, dropping his hand from mine and glancing back towards the house. “I guess I better. Listen. Will you call me this time? Before you go back to New York?”

His eyes seemed to blaze in the twilight.

“So we can talk about what we’re going to do about Randy, I mean,” he added quickly, lest I make the mistake of thinking he actually, you know. Cared about me. As more than just a friend.

“Sure,” I said. Even though I was totally lying. Because the truth was, I knew I could never bejust friends with him. This was good-bye—whether he knew it or not. “See ya.”

“See ya,” he said. And turned and walked slowly back to the house.

I tugged on my helmet, relieved that, if he should happen to turn and look back—fat chance of that happening—the plastic shield would hide the tears that had sprung suddenly into my eyes.

God, I am such an idiot. First for falling for Hannah’s lies, and then for ever believing—

But whatever. Really, what had changed? Nothing. He was still just a guy I’d—whatever-we-were—for a while.

Still. I mean, at least Hannah, messed up as she was, had taken a chance on the guy she loved. Sure, he was a jerk and obviously didn’t care about her at all.

But at least she’d gotten some pleasure out of it. At least, I hoped so.

What had I gotten out of my relationship with Rob? Nothing but heartache.

The funniest thing? Those things Hannah had said Rob had told her about me—they weren’t true.I wasn’t the brave one. No, that was Hannah. Sure, I’d risked my life, plenty of times. But Hannah had risked something that, in the end, proved much more painful to lose:

Her heart.

I didn’t look back as I drove away. Because I didn’t want to see him close the door on me.

Again.

Nine

I returned to my parents’ house to find a party in full swing.

It’s really something what my mom can do when she puts her mind to it. She’d decided she wanted to have a party to celebrate my (temporary) homecoming, and by the time I got back from rescuing Rob’s little sister, a party was what was going on.

And okay, it was a bit on the small side for Mom.