John Locke - Lethal Experiment

“Any guess how long we’ve got?”

“No, but shit eventually floats to the top.”

The mind backtrack wasn’t working. Maybe I should try current events featuring Kathleen.

Let’s see , I thought. Kathleen was planning to move to Virginia so she and Addie could be closer to me. Something about the move? Something about…Aw, shit. How could I have forgotten ?

“Today’s the day you get Addie,” I said. “Of course I’m planning to be there.”

“In time to go with me to pick her up, or in time for dinner?”

I looked at my watch. “In between those. With any luck, I’ll be at your house before you get her home.”

“I wish you were here already. I could sure use the emotional support.”

“I know, baby. I’m sorry.”

She sighed. “I know it’s all part of the job. Maybe we ought to re-think that job. It sure keeps us apart a lot.”

I didn’t respond to that. But I was beginning to see why a bright, beautiful girl like Kathleen was still on the market. In the few months we’d been dating, she’d added a child to our romantic dynamic, had plans to move closer to my work, disapproved of my traveling lifestyle, and wanted me to change professions.

“I know about the big dinner at Serendipity tonight,” I said. “But do you want me to arrange something special for afterward?”

“It’s already taken care of. After dinner we’re going back home. We’re going to get on the computer and go video house-hunting until it’s time to put her to bed.”

“Sounds great!” I said, putting what I hoped was the precise amount of enthusiasm into the response.

She paused. “You’re still all for this, aren’t you?”

“Of course.”

“I don’t want to push you,” she said. “I want you to want this as much as me and Addie.”

“I do,” I said, wondering if I was being honest.

“You sure?”

“Of course.” Still wondering.

“You promise?”

Jesus , I thought. Is this how normal people talk? No wonder there’s so much drug use in the suburbs !

“Donovan?”

“Huh? Oh. Yes, of course I promise I’m sure!” At least that’s what I think she was asking me to say.

She kissed the air on her end of the line and giggled when I didn’t kiss her back.

“What,” I said.

“You always try to act so tough. It’s adorable.”

I couldn’t wait to tell Quinn how adorable I was.

After we hung up I sat in my chair by the gate that would have taken me to Nashville. Now I’d have to go all the way back to the main terminal, cancel the Nashville flight, and book the twelve-fifteen to New York City—which boards from the gate directly opposite the Nashville gate. On the bright side, I didn’t have to get any suitcases off the plane. The phony jewelry suitcase I’d booked on the trip down had long since been discarded.

I took a deep, cleansing breath and closed my eyes. When I opened them I saw a well-dressed guy, late-forties, checking into first class astride a stunning, long-legged beauty, roughly half his age. She was toned and tanned and ponytailed, with shiny pink lipstick and perfect white teeth, and that effusive, self-confident-yet-naïve, perky quality that reminds every guy of the cheerleader from high school he loved from afar but could never approach.

In other words, she looked like half the hookers I’d taken on similar trips.

All of us in the waiting area stared at her like a kid trying to find Waldo in a picture book. Speaking only for myself, if Waldo had been hidden anywhere near her denim miniskirt or the pale pink panties we’d gotten a glimpse of, I’d have found him twenty times. I felt a tug of desire and realized I’d just gotten the phone call—the one that would either save my life, or destroy it. I might have been sitting at a gate in an airport at the time, but I was literally at a crossroads. Nashville loomed to the left, representing the status quo, my comfort zone, and the known.

The door to Nashville offered a future filled with hookers and free time, travel, excitement, bullets and danger.

The door to my right led to New York and Kathleen, who seemed to be moving me at breakneck speed toward monogamy, fatherhood, and the wedding altar. If I took that door, in three years the sex faucet will have slowed to a drip and the arguments will take longer to quell. Routine things would start annoying us about each other, and resentments would build. Addie would steadily crowbar her way into our hearts and lives and it was only a matter of time before we’d lose the “us” that brought us together in the first place. There would be endless hours of babysitting, homework, tears, adolescent issues, sleepovers. There would be obligations to church, school, friends and sports, and all spontaneity would vanish from our lives.

I glanced at the gate to New York City and saw a future unfolding before me that made me question my commitment to Kathleen and Addie. Would I have to give up my job and don a suit and tie and work for some corporate schmuck? Would Kathleen expect me to get involved in her charity work? Could I ever see myself playing tennis or golf at some tight-assed country club or hosting mind-numbing cookouts for the neighbors, having to deal in a civilized way with the guy that drools over my wife’s ass and comes on to her every time I’m looking the other way?

I looked at the babe, cooing in the middle-aged guy’s ear. He said something and she giggled and gave his earlobe a gentle bite with those perfect, porcelain teeth. Both of them seemed completely oblivious to the glares and stares of the disgusted women and envious men watching their public show of affection. As they headed through the jet way, he cupped her ass in his hand. Did she scold him or call him a pervert? No. She rewarded him with a squeal of delight.

It’s not too late , I thought. I can still be that guy .

Chapter 36

In the end, it wasn’t such a hard decision. While it was clear Kathleen was leading me to the altar, she wasn’t forcing me to take the plunge immediately. She’d let me enter the water an inch at a time. I knew what it was like to take a hooker to Nashville, but I didn’t know what it was like to live with Kathleen and Addie. And I wanted to find out.

Hours later, in New York, I waited in Kathleen’s duplex until I heard the taxi door slam shut. I raced outside like any other suburban goober and hugged Kathleen and Addie like the lifelines they were.

Addie said, “Me and Kathleen are BFF’s!”

“Wow, BFF’s!” I had no idea what that was, and Kathleen knew it.

She smiled and whispered, “Best friends forever.”

I whispered back, “I knew that.”

“Of course you did!”

I paid the cabbie, picked up Addie’s suitcases, but paused at the front door landing when Kathleen said, “Wait. Let’s take a moment to appreciate this. When we enter that door, our lives are going to change forever.”

She beamed with happiness, and Addie smiled back at her. This little burn victim had lost her parents, her twin sister, and all her possessions in a ghastly fire six months ago, but you’d never know it today. I might test torture weapons for the military, but my strength and endurance is nothing compared to Addie’s. Beyond her strength of will, she had a plucky optimism that was as inspiring as it was contagious. Addie was part Little Orphan Annie and part Superman.

They passed through the doorway and Addie squealed with delight and clapped her hands when she saw the cookies I’d baked and set out for them on the kitchen table. I could only imagine how excited they’d be to see the gifts I’d bought: a large wicker picnic basket and a blue checkerboard quilt. I wondered if we would someday remember these as the first things bought for our new family.