Tara Kelly - Harmonic Feedback

“I’m not a bad father.” His voice shook. “I tried, you know? She’s always been so self-sufficient. Her brother was always getting in trouble. Teachers called me about him all the time. But not Naomi. She had good grades. No problems.”

I bit my lip to keep from shouting at him. He didn’t try. He made her feel invisible.

Mom gave him one of her vague sympathetic answers. Her voice trembled a little, like it always did when she felt bad. “I got lucky with Drea,” she continued. “I’ve made so many mistakes, dragging her across the country, living out of our pickup, one failed relationship after another. But she’s so practical and levelheaded. It’s not always about what you did or didn’t do. I think Naomi just got involved with the wrong crowd.”

“Do you know anything else about this Scott guy? I’d like to”—something banged against the table—“put his face through a goddamn wall,” her dad said.

“What are you doing, Drea?” Grandma peeked out from her bedroom down the hall. “Don’t eavesdrop on conversations.”

“Drea?” Mom called. “You can come in here, sweetie. It’s okay.”

I rolled my eyes and walked into the kitchen. Naomi’s dad sat at the head of the table, hunched over. His cheeks were sunken and his eyes red rimmed. He glanced up at me for a moment and nodded before staring at his hands.

I pressed my back against the wall, folding and unfolding my arms. Nothing felt comfortable. Nothing felt right.

Mom gave me a weak smile. “There was a bag for you on the porch this morning. It’s on the counter.” She studied my face. “Do you know what happened?”

“She’s with Scott,” I said. “I told you it wasn’t a good idea.”

Mom squinted at me. “Is she at his apartment?”

“No, Justin went over there. They’re gone. She said they were heading south in a couple days.”

Naomi’s dad covered his face. “I don’t know what the hell to do. I reported her as a runaway, but she’s just one of the many. They said it’s tougher once they’ve been missing for forty-eight hours.”

“We’ll help any way we can,” Mom said.

“She wants me to take Lizzie,” I said.

Her father looked up at me from under heavy lids. “The cat? Yeah, take her. I’ll bring her over.”

“Grandma won’t allow it,” Mom said.

“It’s what Naomi wants!” I answered.

She rubbed her eyes, sighing. “Okay, fine. Just put her in the basement for now. We’ll figure something out.”

Naomi’s father stood up suddenly, nearly knocking his mug over. “Thanks for the coffee. I should get back and see if the police called.” He looked at me as he left the kitchen. “I’ll bring the cat by in an hour or so.”

Mom groaned into her hands after he shut the front door behind him. “This is such a mess.”

“It would’ve been fine if you didn’t open your big mouth,” I said.

She looked up at me over the tips of her fingers. “Do you really believe that, Drea? Was Naomi fine before this?”

I focused on the tiled floor. “No.”

“I’m sorry it turned out this way.”

I stared back at her sad brown eyes and her crinkled brow. Despite her flaws, she loved me. And I knew it. “I wish her dad was more like you.”

She walked over and wrapped her arms around me, kissing my forehead. “Why do you say that?”

“She doesn’t think he loves her.”

Mom’s chest deflated against my ear. “I think he does. But some people don’t show it as well as others.”

I thought of Justin’s dad and hugged her tighter.

The rain hadn’t let up by lunch on Monday. Justin and I sat under the roof overhang of the gym, picking at our sandwiches. The fountain looked lonely across the quad. Its vacant surrounding wall gleamed back at us.

We were waiting for Kari. She’d gotten a letter too.

The weekend crawled by. No phone calls or e-mails from Naomi. We’d searched downtown, the parks, and Scott’s apartment again but came up with nothing. Grandma threw such a fit about Lizzie that Justin offered to take her in. Apparently, she slept on his head.

“There’s Roger,” Justin said, standing up.

I followed his gaze and spotted Roger’s lanky frame exiting the main building. If anyone knew where Scott was, he did. Justin ran after him, dodging puddles.

“Hey,” Kari said from the other direction. She dropped her backpack in front of me and sat on top of it.

“Hi.” I tossed my sandwich onto its plastic wrapper.

She scanned my face and looked over her shoulder at Justin and Roger. They were standing close, talking. Neither looked angry, but Roger had his head down.

“Are you and Justin a couple now?” Kari asked.

“Yeah.”

“Ah.” She nodded slowly, eyeing the ground. “So, what did your letter say?”

“A lot. Nothing. Everything.”

“Yeah, that was my reaction.” She looked up at me, lacing her fingers together and twisting her hands. “She’s done this to me since fifth grade. Pisses me off so much. And each time I’m sure I hate her. But then she says or does something that makes me crumble. Mostly, because I know she hates herself more than I ever could.”

“Do you think it’s because her dad ignores her?”

Kari shrugged. “They were closer when she was younger. He started drinking a lot after he lost his construction job. She didn’t talk about it much. But Greg, her brother, was psycho. He chased us with a pocketknife once.”

“She seems to miss him a lot.”

“Yeah, I don’t get it. He was nicer to her when they got older, but he just took off one day. She cried for weeks—and then dyed her hair purple and decided she was over it .”

“Hey,” Justin said, sitting next to me. “Roger hasn’t heard from Naomi since Friday. He claims he didn’t even know what went down. But he says there’s this abandoned house Scott deals out of sometimes. He’s taking me there after school.”

“I’m going too,” I said.

“Me too,” Kari chimed in.

“Not a good idea. Roger said that Scott’s supplier got busted last week. And Scott’s pretty sure he’s next. It’s why he’s hiding out. You guys don’t want to get caught up in that.”

“I’m going, Justin. Whether you like it or not,” I said.

“I already have a record. Let me take the risk.”

“Exactly. That’s why you’re the last person who should be going.”

“Wait”—Kari held her hand up—“you’ve got a record?”

Justin stuffed his untouched food into his bag. “What can I say? I wasn’t always this charming.”

She raised her eyebrows. “Wow, I totally had you pegged wrong.”

He glanced over at me. “That happens a lot.”

I stayed close behind Justin as we left film class. He was still trying to convince me not to go. But Roger and Kari stood in the parking lot waiting for us. We didn’t have time to argue about it anymore.

We piled into the back of Roger’s car. Kari rode shotgun. The two of them talked about their favorite metal bands.

“At least wait in the car while we check it out,” Justin said in my ear.

“Quit treating me like I can’t take care of myself. I was the one who protected you last time.”

He laced his fingers with mine. “That’s true. But Scott is twice your size. You could’ve gotten hurt.”

“And you did get hurt. She needs me, Justin. You need me too.”

He kissed my cheek and leaned toward Roger. “Where is this place?”

“It’s off San Juan Road, where all those empty warehouses are.” Roger made a left on Holly.

“You better not be dicking me around.”

“I’m not! I care about her too, okay? She’s my best friend.” He drummed the steering wheel.