Tara Kelly - Harmonic Feedback

“It’s just I’ve never—um. A guy has never seen—”

“I know.” He brought his face to mine. “It’s okay. Really. I don’t want you to be uncomfortable.”

“I want to, but I—”

He cut me off with a kiss. My body relaxed with his touch, and whatever I had to say became unimportant. His fingers circled my breast, and his thumb brushed across my nipple. I sucked in my breath, tangling my tongue with his. My skin felt like it was on fire. I inched my T-shirt up, slowly at first.

He pulled back. “You sure?”

I swallowed hard and nodded. “Just don’t laugh at my bra. It’s kind of white and—”

He ran a finger along the curve of my upper lip. “I’m not up on the latest bra trends. You’re safe.”

I let him pull my shirt over my head and stiffened as his eyes skimmed my body.

He pressed his lips to my navel, working his way up until our mouths were inches apart. “Sei bella.”

I stared back at him. He definitely made me feel beautiful. “I want to hear more about Italy.”

His mouth tickled my ear. “You will.”

I ran my hands down his smooth back, breathing him in. His hand inched up my thigh. My eyelashes fluttered and a pressure built inside of me. He hesitated.

“Don’t stop,” I whispered.

He kissed me harder, his fingers sliding over the edge of my underwear. My leg muscles tensed, and my heart felt like it was palpitating. His touch moved higher until I was sure I’d pass out. An indescribable warmth blanketed my nerves.

Everything faded away, even the light streaming across his bed from the high windows. I had no idea being close to another human being could feel this amazing.

IWOKE UP SHIVERING the next morning. Raindrops pelted against the window, and the wind roared outside.

I hadn’t wanted to get out of the car when Justin dropped me home, ten minutes before my midnight curfew. The night had been incredible. I already missed his soft lips and the way his hands felt on my skin. My boyfriend. I had a real boyfriend.

During dinner, Justin and his sister had told me about the concerts they went to in Italy and how easy Milan was to get lost in. They showed me pictures of dusky buildings, cobblestone walkways filled with people, and the most elaborate shopping mall I’d ever seen. I’d be going there someday.

I glanced at my cell phone. It read 11:00, but the muted light in the basement made it seem much earlier. The wind picked up again, sending branches against the house.

I buried my hands inside the sleeves of my thermal and sat in front of my computer. The server dinged with new e-mail.

From:Naomi Quinn Subject:She waits for the dawn…

I stared at the name and subject until it became a blurry mess. Maybe she wanted to come to practice today after all. The knots in my stomach told me otherwise. I took a deep breath and opened the e-mail.… to make her grand escape.Hi Drea,Where do I even begin? I guess I’ll start with I’m sorry… for everything. In case you haven’t noticed by now, I’m a horrible friend. More trouble than I’m worth. I know. You deserve better, and I think you have it with Justin. That boy is crazy about you. So much so it hurts to look at you guys. I’ve waited my entire life for someone to look at me the way you look at each other. To admire me for some reason, at least. But that’s another story.Your mom talked to my dad last night. She told him everything. He freaked and told me he was going to turn me in. He thinks I need rehab, which is hilarious. The guy pops Vicodin like it’s candy.Don’t worry. I’m not mad at you. I’ve been looking for a reason to get out. That final straw. This did it. I’m at Scott’s right now. He’s packing up his shit, and we’re heading south in a couple days. Maybe California. Maybe Vegas. Maybe the moon? I know you think he’s scum, but he’s my ticket out of here, and if you knew how he grew up, you’d understand his anger. I love him, Drea. I really do. People screw up. They make mistakes. I hope that you’ll forgive me someday.I left your iPod and money on your porch. Count it if you’d like. It’s all there. I don’t know why I took it. I don’t know why I do a lot of things. Out of everyone here, I’m going to miss you the most. Especially your smile. You don’t smile much, but when you do, your entire face glows. I’ve known you a month, but I feel closer to you than anyone else. Making music with you was awesome, and I’m sorry I can’t keep doing it. It was the one thing I really looked forward to. But singers aren’t hard to find. Did you know Roger sings? He’s not bad either, LOL. No joke!I have a couple favors to ask. Please keep my brother’s drum kit and Lizzie safe. I obviously can’t take either with me. And Dad sure as hell can’t take care of Lizzie. I know she’d be happy with you. If you can’t take her, then please find her a good home. I trust you.Thank you for everything, Drea. You rock.Until we meet again. (And we will!)Naomi,a.k.a. your pain-in-the-ass friend forever

I read her letter three times, hoping it wasn’t real. Her dad wasn’t supposed to be home last night. Saturday, she’d said. They were going to pick out a car Saturday. Acid crept into my throat. My friend was gone, and it was my fault. Mom didn’t follow through on a lot of things—why this? Why now? I should’ve kept my mouth shut.

My cell phone rang, making me jump. Justin’s name appeared in the tiny screen.

“Hello?”

“I got an e-mail from Naomi,” he said, his voice somber.

I slumped in my chair, my eyes stinging. “It’s my fault. I should’ve stayed home last night.”

“You aren’t why she’s unhappy. Don’t think that way.” His windshield wipers squeaked in the background.

“I thought you had to work.”

“I do, but I’m on lunch. I’m heading to Scott’s.”

“What are you going to do?”

He exhaled into the phone. “I’m going to try and talk to her.”

“But Roger said Scott wants to pound you.”

“If he wants to come at me in broad daylight, he can go for it. I’m not going inside.”

“Take me with you.”

“No, I don’t want you around Scott.”

“I don’t care. She’s my friend too.”

“I’m going to try and get her home, okay?”

I nodded and realized he couldn’t hear me. “Call me as soon as you leave.” My throat was so tight it hurt to breathe.

“I will.” His voice softened. “I promise.”

I tried calling Naomi three times after Justin hung up. Her voice mail greeted me every time. Then I reread her letter.

I should’ve complimented her singing more. Told her how beautiful she was. She had more physical grace than anyone I’d ever known, especially when we jammed. A natural performer. Every movement seemed epic. I should’ve told her the truth about me.

Justin called ten minutes later. He said nobody answered, but the blinds were pulled up. The apartment looked vacant inside.

I ran upstairs, ready to confront Mom. A man’s voice echoed from the kitchen when I opened the basement door. Mom answered him softly. I crept toward the entrance, but stayed behind the wall and listened.

“I used to build houses,” the man said. “It was decent money. But then I fell and messed up my back. And the doc said no more construction or manual labor for me. Well, I don’t have a degree, and the job market in this town is nonexistent. What was I supposed to do?”

“I know,” Mom said. “I’m always struggling to keep my head above water. It’s not easy.”