Tara Kelly - Harmonic Feedback

Justin rolled his eyes at me. “If you have any bottled water, bring it downstairs. If not, use the tap.”

After he followed her, I rummaged through Grandma’s alphabetized pantry and found a jug on the floor. I’d remembered hearing girls talk about E back in San Francisco. It usually involved stories of being up all night or messing around with some hot guy.

“This is all I could find,” I said, making my way downstairs.

Naomi was doing what looked like ballet moves across the cement floor. Justin grabbed the water from me and peeled off the seal.

“Sip on this.” He raised the bottle at her and set it near the steps.

“Yeah, I know. Scott told me to drink lots of water, blah blah.” She continued to twirl like she did in the greenbelt.

“Who’s Scott?” Justin asked, sitting in front of my midi keyboard.

“A loser,” I said.

“Yeah, but he’s a loser who gave me two of these for free.” She walked over to me, opening her hand to reveal two small pills with weird etchings on them. “Want one?”

Great, more pills. I had enough of those in my life. “Th-those never really worked for me.”

“God, am I like the last person on earth to try E? You want one, Justin?”

He glanced at me and then turned around, busying himself with the silent midi keys. “No, thanks.”

“You guys suck.” She shrugged and stuffed the pills back into her jean pocket. “More for me.”

“Don’t take them all at once,” Justin said.

“Okay, Dad.” She wrinkled her nose at him and grinned at me. “Have you ever had sex on it?”

I glanced at Justin, knowing my cheeks were probably bright red. There had to be something I could say that didn’t make me sound like a total loser. “My ex-boyfriend took me skydiving once.”

Naomi’s eyes widened. “Whoa.”

Justin squinted at me. “Don’t you usually have to be eighteen for that?”

“I don’t think so,” I said.

“Right.” He smirked. “Are you going to give me sound here or what?”

I leaned in front of my computer and opened Logic, the recording program I used. “I’ve got a bunch of samples—want me to use the Bösendorfer?” My hands shook. I didn’t understand how people could lie all the time; it took an immense amount of energy.

“It doesn’t matter. They all sound like shit to me. Just put a little reverb on it.”

“I can make it sound good,” I insisted, sticking the sampler on a track and fiddling with the EQ.

“I’ve got the real thing, Drea. Don’t try too hard.”

“Do you prefer bright or dark ’verb? Probably bright, huh?”

He grinned. “You’re the expert.”

It felt weird to have someone watching me, seeing my process. Naomi didn’t seem picky, but what if Justin hated my style? What if I hated his?

Naomi came up behind Justin and rubbed his shoulders. She’d perched her sunglasses on top of her head. “And I have no clue what you two are talking about.”

He shut his eyes and smiled. For some reason, that really bugged me.

She leaned toward his ear. “Can I ask you a personal question?”

“Do you ask anything but personal questions?” He tried out a couple notes and nodded at me. “Not bad—I’ll give you that.”

Naomi leaned over and whispered something in his ear. I couldn’t quite make out what, but it had my name in it.

He pulled away from her touch and focused on the keys. “How about I give you something to dance to?”

She squatted next to him with a smirk. “You’re a virgin, aren’t you?” It sounded more like a statement than a question.

He played an E-minor chord. “Go dance, Naomi.”

I wondered if he felt embarrassed like I did when she asked those questions. Maybe he was like me and didn’t want people to know what a dork he was.

“It’s okay.” She pinched his cheek. “Drea’s a great kisser—I speak from experience. I’m sure she can show you a few other things too.”

“Naomi!” At that moment, I really wanted to die. Or maybe hit her with a baseball bat. “Would you shut up?”

Justin raised his eyebrows, an odd smile on his face.

Naomi rolled her eyes at me. “It’s not a big deal, Drea. It probably turns him on.”

“Not really,” he said, tapping the high keys gently. “Do you think you’re the first straight girl to kiss another girl for shock value?”

“We were by ourselves. And what makes you think I’m straight?” she asked.

“Because I’ve got amazing gaydar.”

“I don’t put labels on myself,” she said. “I just am.”

“Okay, so go be over there.” He waved toward the open space in front of my bed.

Naomi ruffled my hair before collapsing on the bed, her legs dangling over the side. I settled into my computer chair, hoping she’d be quiet for a while.

Justin began with a chord progression that instantly connected with me. My fingertips buzzed with anticipation, and I heard a billion different guitar melodies over the top. Maybe a gentle synth—bell-like without the piercing edge. He closed his eyes as each chord rang out, letting them bleed together and create the perfect mix of colors. Blue entwined with varying shades of gray. Like the drizzle outside. Comforting but a little sad. Then he played a fast, erratic melody with his right hand. Every note made me shiver, each one building into something even more amazing.

Naomi rolled off the bed, humming a melody of her own over the top. She walked up behind Justin and tapped his shoulder. “Can you play just the chords?”

“Sure,” he said, going back to the original progression.

She closed her eyes, fingers tapping against her ripped jeans. Her lips moved slightly with each chord change. “She smiles with grace, but no one recalls her face,” she sang. “Invisible… carved between the walls.”

I guessed at Justin’s tempo, setting it around 100bpm, and fished around for some drum samples. Most of the time I’d start with a loop that felt right—couldn’t explain why. Then I’d EQ the sound so it fit the tone of the song and add more drum samples from there. This song had a real trip-hop feel to it—slow, dark, and catchy. I found a bouncy beat and distorted the drums a bit. Naomi could play a live beat later, and I’d combine the two.

“I like that,” Justin said to me.

“Tempo okay?”

He nodded. “I can work with it.”

Naomi still had her eyes shut, nodding to the beat now. “She knows her place in this world. She can tear down its walls, and still nobody knows her name.”

Justin stopped playing and shook his head. “You’ve got an incredible voice, Naomi.”

She bit her lip, eyeing both of us. “Really? I don’t sound stupid?”

“No,” I said. “You’re giving me chills—both of you are.” I walked over and opened the case of my twelve-string acoustic. Another cheap and rare find from an online acquaintance.

Justin raised his eyebrows at my guitar. “Interesting choice.”

“Start again,” I said, setting the drums to loop mode and cranking the volume.

Layering the guitar chords on top of the piano gave the song a dreamy atmosphere. But Justin’s melody and Naomi’s vocals took the song to a place I could never go on my own. It tore at my gut and haunted my mind until all I wanted to do was get lost in it for hours. After our third time through, I decided to record the piano and guitar. Naomi insisted on reworking her lyrics before recording.

“Okay, Drea? If you don’t let Justin join our band, I’m seriously going to smack you,” Naomi decided.

I stared back at my computer screen, wanting nothing more but too afraid to ask. “You can join—if you want to.”

“Nah, I’ve got better things to do,” he said.