Rajaa Alsanea - Girls of Riyadh

Less than an hour after Gamrah had seen Kari, Rashid came home. If only he had not.

“C’mon. Get up!”

“Where are we going?”

“You’re going to apologize to Kari for what you did to her and for the garbage you said to her. These stupid things you do aren’t going to work with someone like me. Got that? If your family didn’t know how to raise you, well, then I’ll have to do it myself!”

“You’re not going to tell me what to do! I will never apologize to that Filipino! And for what? And who should do the apologizing?”

Rashid grabbed her arm and yanked. “Look, lady! You’re the one who is going and you’re the one who is apologizing. And after that you are getting on the first airplane out of here and you are going back to your family and I don’t want to see your face here ever again. I’m not a man that a woman like you is going to order around!”

“Yeah, right! So I’m the one who wasn’t raised properly! And what about you, mister? Cheating on me with that Asian housemaid!”

The slap landed on her right cheek, and the sound of it echoed in her head.

“That ‘maid’ is as good as you, and she’s worth your whole family, too, do you understand? At least her father didn’t come kissing up to my father so he could marry his daughter to a man who he knew loved someone in America and had been living with her for seven years! This housemaid loved me and stood next to me and gave me a place to live when I wasn’t getting a penny from home, when my family refused to let us get married and cut off my money for three years! She didn’t run after me because of money and my family’s reputation! The one you hate so much is more honest and more honorable than you are and more than your family is, much, much more!”

After the painful slap, Gamrah’s mind stopped taking anything in. Everything Rashid said after that, all the insults, were just a continuation of that never-ending slap. Without realizing what she was saying and that the timing was all wrong to confess such a thing (is it ever okay to use children as human shields during marital wars?), she said, amid her tears, touching the spot on her cheek with one hand and putting the other on her belly, “I’m pregnant.”

Gamrah’s voice started to fade as the scene grew more tense, while Rashid’s voice got louder. Rashid had become a mass of anger, his eyes glowing like a pair of bright-red coals. His voice boomed out:

“What? Pregnant? You are pregnant! How did that happen? Who gave you permission to get pregnant? You mean you’re not taking the pills? Didn’t we agree there would be no pregnancy until I finish my PhD and we go back to Saudi? You figured you could twist my arm with these filthy tricks!”

“ Me? I’m the one with dirty tricks? Am I the one who wanted to keep an innocent wife dangling for two years, having her work for you as a servant until you get your diploma, and then planning to throw her out like trash? Was it me who married a good girl from a good family while I was playing around with a cheap whore ?”

The second slap came and she fell to the floor, sobbing painfully. Rashid left the apartment to run into the arms of the “unworthy one,” leaving Gamrah cursing and slapping her cheeks and spitting at him, in a state of hysteria, close to madness.

14.

To: seerehwenfadha7et@yahoogroups.com

From: “seerehwenfadha7et”

Date: May 14, 2004

Subject: Of Michelle and of Faisal I Will Tell You

Love is a matter of the heart, and a person has no control over it. Human hearts lie between two fingers—the fingers of Allah the merciful—and He tilts them as He wills. If love were not so very precious and fine, then so many people, ever since the time of the prophets, would not have ventured there. The Prophet—may the blessings and peace of God be upon him—stressed that the flame of love can only be quenched by marriage. For love which is bound by the reins of chastity and piety gives no cause for shame. But if the marriage does not occur, then patience with the bitterness of disappointment is the only solution.

We have to distinguish between love as a practice and a behavior, on the one hand, and love as an emotion, on the other. It is right Islamic practice i.e., Halal to feel love, but if love turns into acts of love, such as a touch or a kiss or an embrace, it is against the law of Islam i.e., Haram. Many bad things will result, because it is difficult for the person in love to keep that love in check. So what is the love that we do want? We want love that changes hearts and souls. We mean love that pushes those who have it to perform deeds that will then get documented in history as a beautiful love story. —Jassem Al-Mutawa’*

I have begun to get really engrossed in reading your comments on the story, all of you out there! After my last e-mail, I received nearly one hundred messages! And I read every last one. That is because I want to be sure that we are a people who agree to disagree. From the one who sympathizes with Gamrah to the one who finds her pitiful, and from Rashid’s supporters to those who are really angry at him and ready to swing a blow, I can assure you that I thoroughly enjoyed reading every one of your varied opinions, even those I disagree with. But to those of you who ask about Michelle and say I have neglected her for too long, I must say that I agree, and I apologize. Things are looking good for Michelle, and how easy it is to ignore happy people!

In Faisal, Michelle found everything she had been looking for in a man. He was not like any of the young men she had met since settling in Saudi Arabia. The strongest indication of this difference was that their relationship was still going strong after nearly a year, when the longest of her relationships before Faisal had not lasted more than three months.

Faisal was a truly cultivated guy. He knew exactly how to treat a woman, and he didn’t jump to exploit opportunities like all the other guys did. He had quite a few friends who were women, just as Michelle had male friends, but they both made it clear to everyone that they were a serious couple.

Faisal’s gentleness and refined behavior made Michelle rethink the bad impression she had initially formed of young men in her home country, following a number of very short-term relationships. Before getting to know Faisal, it did not even occur to her that a young Saudi man could be as romantic as young men everywhere else in the civilized world. For example, every morning when her driver took her to the university, Faisal would follow them in his own car as a sign of his devotion. She had to admit to herself that seeing him at seven-thirty in the morning maneuvering the streets of Riyadh and working hard to fight off his drowsiness just so he could be almost in her company tickled her heart and filled it with joy.

Michelle had never been able to explain to any of her friends, not even her close girlfriends, the sense of loss she had felt when she had to move back to Saudi Arabia from America. Even though her girlfriends understood how intensely she loathed Saudi society and its severe traditions, and even though they knew how much she mocked the restrictions that the society placed on young women, the battle of two civilizations that raged within her was so contradictory and complex that only someone with an acute intelligence and an enlightened, open-minded thinking could truly comprehend it. And then Michelle found herself in the company of Faisal, who seemed to understand exactly what she was going through. Soon, every time they were together, she told him more and more about what troubled her. After finally stumbling across a young man who understood her, after years of groping around for something that didn’t seem to exist, how could she not grab the opportunity to reveal who she really was to someone?