Rex Stout - Death of a Dude

"I couldn't ask Dawson what my price tag is," I said, "because I was dressing him down. How much?"

"Does it matter?"

"It does to me. For the record. The lowest so far was five hundred, and the highest thirty grand. What am I worth to the people of the State of Montana?"

"Ten thousand dollars. Dawson said five thousand and Jessup said fifteen and the judge split the difference. They didn't ask me."

"What would you have made it?"

"Fifty million."

"That's the way to talk." I patted her knee.

We were in the open country. For a mile or so I played on the gas pedal to test the engine, and it was okay. Lily asked, "Aren't you going to ask me any questions?"

"Yeah, plenty, but not between bumps. There's a spot not far ahead."

It was just beyond a gully, where the road went north for a stretch, with a stand of lodgepole on the left. I slowed and eased off of the blacktop into the shade the trees gave from the slanting sun, stopped, killed the engine, and twisted around to face her. "For two days and a night," I said, "I've been wanting to ask people certain questions, and this is my first chance, so I'll start with you. When I left the dance floor Saturday night about a quarter past eleven, soon after Sam Peacock arrived, you were dancing with Woody, Farnham had Mrs Amory, DuBois had a woman in a black dress, and Wade had a girl I had seen before but can't name. Did you see Peacock at all?"

"I saw him twice from a distance. Later I looked around but didn't see him, and I didn't see you either. I supposed you had taken him in to Nero Wolfe."

"I hadn't. With Haight and Welch there, we decided to skip it. Now this is important. After you danced with Woody, did you see Peacock talking with anyone you know?"

"No." She frowned. "I only saw him from a distance, and I don't… No."

"Did you see anyone you know leave the dance floor? Go out to the Gallery?"

"If I did, I didn't notice. No."

"As I said, it's important. It's crucial. As you know, people often see something and don't know they're seeing it. If you'll sit down, or lie down is better, and shut your eyes, and go over everything you saw and did, starting from when you were dancing with Woody, you might come up with something. Will you give it a try?"

"I doubt-but I'll try, of course."

"Okay. Now some things that you are aware of, but first a word of stomach-felt appreciation. You don't like to give or receive thanks for things that should be taken for granted, and neither do I, but there's a limit. Six bananas. A whole pie. The best caviar and the best pвtй. And calling it a snack was false modesty deluxe. But you saved my life."

"Go to hell, Escamillo. I got you into this."

"You did not. X did, and he's going to regret it. Now. Where is Mr Wolfe?"

"I think at Woody's. We'll stop there. Yesterday and today he has spent more time at Woody's, and at the ranch, than he has at the cabin."

"Why the ranch?"

"Because that girl's there. Peggy Truett. Carol got her last night-she lives in Timberburg-and brought her to the cabin. Jessup was there, and they questioned her for more than two hours. In your room. Around eleven o'clock Jessup came to the big room and phoned Carol and told her they were coming with Peggy Truett. They went in Jessup's car. It was after midnight when he brought Wolfe back. They told me nothing, not a damn thing, and this morning I left for Helena before seven o'clock. With this car. I haven't been back, but about two hours ago I called Carol, and she said Wolfe had been there nearly all day talking with Peggy Truett, and he was still there, and he had asked her if she would drive him to Woody's around five o'clock. So I think he's at Woody's but he may still be at the ranch. You know him better than I do. Peggy Truett may be his type."

"He hasn't got a type. It's a filter job."

"What's that?"

"It's similar to what I asked you to do about Saturday night, only he steps it up by asking questions. It's the opposite of filtering coffee. With coffee you're after what goes right through, but with her he's after what doesn't go through, or doesn't want to. Then you don't know whether Haight has seen him or not."

"No. Does that matter?"

"Probably not. Only if those two have conversed I have missed something I would have enjoyed. Let's see, what else? Oh. Jessup said you went to Farnham's and took pictures, and that nobody objected but Farnham, but of course he would. Did anybody want to object but decided not to? I assume you were aware that you were pinch-hitting for me."

"Of course. You might have seen signs that I missed. Jessup made it an official request, but he explained that it was a request and anyone who wanted to could refuse without giving a reason. Very neat, I thought. You and the genius are making a man of him. Sitting still like this I do seem to notice a slight-uh-aroma. Kind of exotic. Will it go?"

"No, it's permanent. Our future contacts will have to be outdoors in a strong wind. You sent the prints to Saul?"

"Did I. I was up and dressed at six o'clock, and I got them on the ten-o'clock plane. He should have them by now. You think it was one of them, don't you?"

"I don't think anything. I have no right to think until I earn it by doing a little work." I started the engine and moved the pointer to D. "And take a bath." We bumped back onto the blacktop.

It was ten minutes to seven when we rolled to a stop in front of the Hall of Culture and I climbed out and crossed to the screen door and entered. There was no one in the Gallery, but the door at the rear, to the kitchen, was standing open, and I went and stuck my head in. Woody was on a stool at the counter, stirring something in a bowl, and Wolfe was standing at his elbow, watching. With Wolfe in it, the kitchen looked smaller than it was. I stepped in and said, "Just in time."

Wolfe looked at me, took a step for a closer look, and growled, "Satisfactory."

My nerves were a little raw. "What's so damn satisfactory about it?" I demanded.

"You're here, you're intact, and you have your tongue. 'Just in time.' Yes, you are. You are just in time for Mr Stepanian's favourite dish, hunkiav beyandi. He says it was originally Armenian, but the Turks have claimed it for centuries. It's kebab served with egg-plant stuffed with a purйe which the Turks call Imam Baпldi-'swooning Imam.' Onions browned in oil, tomatoes, garlic, salt and pepper. Was that jail dirty?"

"Yes."

"Are you hungry?"

It was understandable that he didn't want to report with Woody there, and apparently there was nothing so urgent that it couldn't wait until he had tasted hunkiav beyandi.

"Certainly I'm hungry," I said, "but first I have to scrub, and Miss Rowan phoned Mimi to have some filets mignons out. She thought you might be hungry too."

"If you will excuse me," Woody said, "there is my tub and shower and plenty of hot water, and I would be honoured. You know how glad I am to see you, Archie. As Mr Wolfe says, it is satisfactory."

"And I'm glad to see you, Woody." To Wolfe: "So I'll come back later. Around nine?"

He looked at the clock on the wall. Right at home. "I expect telephone calls. And I must make one. Nine or ten, any time. Or Mr Stepanian can take me; he has kindly offered to. I suggest that you bathe and eat and go to bed."