Butler, Octavia - Patternmaster

“It’s personal,” she said. “My business.”

From anyone else, that would have been enough to stop him. But he knew her better than he had ever known anyone else. He did not believe she really wanted him to stop.

“Tell me,” he said quietly. He was still holding her arm and she wrenched away from him.

“You’re as big a fool as I am,” she said. “Looking for more trouble when you’ve already got plenty.”

“What have you done that you consider foolish?”

She gave a short, mirthless laugh. “It’s only my timing that’s foolish, Teray. I decided that I wanted a child by you. And since I didn’t know how long we’d be together, I didn’t want to wait.”

For a moment Teray’s surprise left him without words. Finally, “You mean you’re pregnant now?”

“Oh yes. And believe me, I wouldn’t have told you if Coransee hadn’t already found out. He realized it when he made me open.”

“But you’ve opened to me and I haven’t seen

…”

“You don’t snoop the way he does. It’s practically an art with him. Open to him and he lifts your whole life.”

“He’s the last person who should know.” Teray frowned. “Hell, he has the right to kill it if he wants to—since he claims us and he hasn’t given us permission to have a child.”

“It’s barely a child yet. It’s only a few days old—just a ball of cells growing.”

“You should have told me. I can’t understand why he hasn’t killed it already.”

“I haven’t let him,” she said. “Because the way things are going, I wasn’t sure you’d be around to replace it.”

Teray winced. “That’s encouraging.”

“Just don’t let him get you to Forsyth.”

“How did you keep him from killing the baby?”

“I let him see how determined I was to have it. He decided to let me wait until we get to Forsyth, too.”

“He told you he would kill it in Forsyth?”

“No, he withdrew without comment. He withdrew in that special way of his that means, ‘Later.’ ” She sighed. “I think he only wants to kill it out of vindictiveness—because I refused to have a child for him.”

Teray frowned. “I should let you know that I’m not ignoring the warnings you’re giving me about Forsyth.”

“I didn’t think you were. You don’t have to say anything more about it.”

“Good. And I want you to know that I consider protecting an unborn child a responsibility for two. If Coransee reads that in your thoughts, fine.”

“I’d feel the same way,” she said softly, “if you and I had talked about it ahead of time. If we had

both decided that it was a reasonable responsibility to assume at a time like this—which it isn’t.”

“No, it isn’t.” He hugged her and suddenly found himself smiling. “And I wouldn’t have asked it of you until we were a lot more secure. But I’m glad you did it. Why did you refuse to have his child?”

“He waited too long to ask me. He waited until I had gotten to know him.”

Teray laughed softly. She had given him a kind of victory. Not a large victory, but one he could savor. One that Coransee’s humiliations could not destroy. And the child would be a living link between them even if Teray was unable to convince her to stay with him. Or it would be a part of him that survived even if Coransee succeeded in killing him. But he did not want to think about that last. Living suddenly seemed more important than ever. Living and keeping Amber and the child alive.

“Teray?”

He looked at her, knowing that she was about to leave him.

“What did you do to Coransee a while ago? I felt him almost lose consciousness.”

He told her.

She smiled a very small smile, kissed him, gathered up a blanket, and went to Coransee.

Chapter 8

Amber returned to Teray before breakfast the next morning. She was quiet and withdrawn. She seemed to relax a little when he asked her to link up again. But through the reestablished link he could feel her smoldering anger.

“Did he make you open again?”

“Yes.” The anger flared for a moment.

“Are you all right?”

She did not answer.

“Is the child all right?”

“We’re both all right… for now. I have to go back to him tonight.”

Now Teray felt anger of his own. “If he’s alive tonight.”

“God!” she whispered. “Don’t tell me anything.”

“I don’t know anything to tell you. I’m just waiting for my chance. He has to know that much already.”

“He does. He knows everything I told you last night. He wasn’t even surprised when he read it—and he didn’t deny any of it. Look at him.”

Teray looked toward the main group and saw Coransee standing encircled by his people. He was talking to them, and though Teray could not hear what he was saying, Teray felt suddenly apprehensive.

“We now have eleven enemies instead of just one,” said Amber.

“Is he linking with them?”

“No. That’s our edge. It wouldn’t do him any good to link with them. He can’t use a link for anything but an alarm. He’s just ordering them to watch us. If one of us attacks him they’re supposed to sit on the other one. That way, we can be almost sure that whichever one of us takes him on alone will be committing suicide. He’ll be sure of taking someone with him even if he gets killed.”

Teray nodded. “I can’t blame him. That’s what I’d do.”

“You wouldn’t hold free people prisoner and put yourself in the position of having to do it.”

“Why can’t he use a link with them—at least some of them—to borrow strength? I know they’re not close to him, and it wouldn’t be very pleasant, but he should be able to stand it. I could.”

“If I had to,” said Amber, “I might be able to take a few of them myself. But Coransee can’t. He’s too close to succeeding Rayal.”

“What does that have to do with it?”

“He can’t take strength from anybody until he can take it from everybody. I was with him the last time he tried, and I can’t tell you in words how close he came to losing control. He almost made a grab for the Pattern.”

“Almost provoked Rayal into killing him, you mean. Rayal isn’t going to give up his power a day sooner than he has to.”

“That’s just it. When Coransee and I were on better terms, he told me he would try to snatch the Pattern from Rayal if he weren’t so sure of having it handed to him soon. But to get killed trying to snatch it away now would be worse than stupid.”

“All right, so he can’t use his people in the way they’d be most effective. All that means is that I’ll have to fight him in the way I intended to from the first. Alone.”

“Either you will or I will.”

“I will, if for no other reason than that there are two of you.”

“It doesn’t matter much,” she said. He frowned at her, surprised. He had expected an argument.

“If you kill him, well and good,” she said. “But I can feel that even you don’t think much of your chances. And if he kills you, he’ll still claim me. He’ll kill our child and then he’ll have to kill me. I’d rather be dead than be his property anyway.”

She wasn’t just angry, he realized. She was bitter and resigned. Her last sentence reminded Teray of what he had said when Michael asked him whether he could ever accept Coransee’s controls.

“Listen,” he said softly, “if I can’t kill him, I’ll cripple him. I’ll hurt him as badly as I can. I’m

not as quick as you are at that kind of thing, but I’ll do what I can to soften him up for you. If you’re able to break free of his people … you’ll have an advantage.” He wondered what the chances were of her breaking free of ten Patternists. They had to be far worse than his chances of killing Coransee. “I’m sorry,” he said.