Jackson, Deborah: Heaven's Children (Earth Totem)

‘She is now, but if you want her back, you have to keep the balance, you have to give something back to Gaia.

‘What?’ he whispered, almost sorry that she closed her hands again. Her eyes were serious, and she gave him a look, he had never seen before and he felt fear take hold.

‘Only a true born child of Heaven can replace her.’

He listened as Aponi explained and the pain felt as physical as knife wound. Goddess Gaia, give me the strength, he thought centreing himself. He breathed in the warrior spirit of the Hawk, preparing for an immortal battle.

38

Butterfly

I see her now. She’s sitting with her back to me, in the long grass. On her head is posy of bluebells. I look around, she’s alone and I know I don’t have much time.

‘Nevaeh…’

‘Hawk?’

How did you get here? I can’t believe it,’ Nevaeh gasps. Hawk feels his entire being tremble but remembers the scales and grabs her shoulder. He was determined to make her see sense.

‘Hey!’ She cries out trying to scramble away. He pulls her to him, and kisses her hard.

When she pulls away, Nevaeh, looks at him in shock. His jaw is clenched, and the softness of his eyes have disappeared. They are hard, and in that kiss, she see’s their lives together, her parents, and little sister and feels the agony at the separation. His strong arms surround her, whispering gentle words in his ancestor’s tongue. Part of her, the human part, almost crumbles – she misses him. Angered by these feelings, she tries o pull away, but Hawk won’t let her.

‘I don’t want to be human again. I’m not like you, can’t you see that?’ She feels his arms relax and pushes him away, separating herself from him. He watches the way she looks longingly at the garden.

In there, she felt safe, in there, she belonged. She regretted sending the vase of flowers and the butterfly. She just wanted to say goodbye. She wanted to be with Mika. He had shown her how to watch humans, to see beyond the mist. Her corpse wasn’t real anymore, not for her. She steps further away, holding her hands out in warning.

‘Stay where you are, I’m not coming with you, you can’t make me.’ Her face pouts and Hawk narrowed his eyes.

‘This isn’t a game Nevaeh. We are out of sequence with you, you need to come home. So much has happened.’ He added. Hawk watched the way she hesitated.

‘Home?’ Her voice is soft and he shivers, feeling her very essence brush over him - something wasn’t right. Desperation fed his anxiety. She was sounding vague, distant and he knew then that it was only a matter of time before she had forgotten everything from her human life.

‘Nevaeh, you might die.’ He adds.

Leaves scream round him, stinging his face and he finds himself turning in circles trying to face an unseen assailant.

‘Nevaeh, cannot die…she was never born.’ The voice is cold.

Hawk freezes. Mika.

‘Until you release her body, she will stay here. You are but a son of the totem; we are children of the gods – Heaven’s children. Hawk laughs, his breathing shallow.

‘You? A child of Heaven? Of Nirvana herself? You come from the depths of Khaos, go back below and leave her be.’

Hawk clenches his fists, sensing for reinforcements, calling on his ancestors and friend. This was a spiritual battle and he needed them more than ever.

The urge to throw her over his shoulder and run was strong, but he knew it was impossible to get back on his own. He trembled; frustrated that she was so close. He could almost touch her, and his skin burned in anticipation, he knew that if he did, she would bolt.

He feels another familiar squeeze on his shoulder. Hawk, she has achoice– free will. Hope soars through him again - Nevaeh had a choice? The air visibly changes, and the silence feels like they are in the centre of a storm. He took a step closer, and she looked at him fearfully, her foot hesitating above the ground. She glanced back at Mika for reassurance. Mika holds his hand to her and Hawk growls.

Sacred ones give me strength.

‘Nevaeh…come back, we need you - I need you.’

He saw her sigh; the sound was sad and reluctant.

‘…am home.’ Her voice is fading and her eyes dart from Mika to Hawk.

‘No, Nevaeh you aren’t,’ He takes a deep breath, speaking carefully.

‘Your parents need you, and I need you. I love you Nevaeh,’ he added.

She cries out then, her face tormented and Hawk takes another careful step. She doesn’t stop him. The happiness has disappeared, only confusion remains.

‘She doesn’t want to be with you.’ Mika hisses, stepping forward, making them both turn. Hawk hears Nevaeh gasp, as they both take in Mika’s white tunic and gold chest armor. He was dressed for battle and in his hand; he held a sword that glinted as it moved. Mika sneered, sweeping the sword in an arc, before pointing towards an identical sword at Hawk’s feet.

‘Time to return your bones into ash.’ Mika sneered. Nevaeh hovered between them and Hawk instinctively pushed her away.

‘And you have bones?’ Hawk shouted banging his shield.

‘I don’t want this, please.’ Nevaeh pleads. ‘I don’t want any of this.’ Mika continues to stare at Hawk, nodding his head in her direction. His green eyes flash in fury.

‘Look at her; you think you can force her? Why should she care about humans? I’ve shown her what you have done to our Mother. I’ve shown her why we need to start again. All you do is stink up the earth with your filthy totems.’

‘Time to finish this.’ Hawk mutters moving forward, his face grim.

Nevaeh panics, but Anna holds her back.

‘Nevaeh, this needs to be done, and then they will all understand that you are both true children of Nirvana, of Heaven – a son of Khaos and daughter of Gaia.’ Anna whispers, and Nevaeh shivers, feeling her madness.

Nevaeh pulls away and Anna paws the air between them, desperate to explain.

‘You don’t understand, you are formed from the originals. Together you will create a new Eden. I saved you, took you from the temple before Khaos himself could seize you. I saved you,’ she repeated. Her voice is high pitched and alerts Hawk. Even here, he thinks, in a place of sanctuary, her madness is still apparent. Mika is striding towards him and he bangs his sword on his shield, to alert her.

‘Is this what you want Nevaeh? You want me to fight for you? You have a choice, free will. Look at this place, this isn’t Eden, it isn’t Nirvana. They’ve created this place for you. They’ve deceived you. She’s tapped into Khaos and freed that thing. Now, see if he bleeds.’ He takes Mika by surprise, slicing at his arm. A fleeting look of alarm spreads over their faces and Hawk waves his sword.

‘Look Nevaeh, he can’t bleed, he’s not human. She’s summoned him from the depths of hell!’

‘Kill him!’ Anna screams, pulling at her hair. The scream galvanises Nevaeh and she runs instinctively towards them, her blood pumping, ignoring the raging behind from Anna.

Her side burns abruptly and her legs refuse to obey her, instead they weaken and she stumbles like a child before looking down in bewilderment.

‘Nevaeh,’ Hawk calls.

Only then does she feel the cold metal and looks down at the sword that has penetrated her side. She wonders if she can die a second time and like the first, she doesn’t feel any pain. Everything starts to blur, and as she falls, she notices the archway to the garden closing. The two guarding trees shimmering as they blend like watercolours.