Diane Davidson - Dying for Chocolate

Before we left for church I started beans simmering, put country-style ribs slathered with homemade barbecue sauce into the oven, then basted chickens before skewering them on the rotisserie for a brief cooking that the grills would complete the next day. When the Farquhars dropped me off after the service, you could have floated into the kitchen on the heady smell of roasting meats.

I kneaded dough for the rolls and wondered why things had gone so wrong the previous night. The dinner had resembled a wedding I’d done once where three-fourths of the family members were not speaking to each other. Elaborate maneuvers to avoid visual or verbal contact took place both on the dance floor and at the buffet table. By the time it was over I’d felt like a wrung-out dishrag.

And the nerve of Brian Harrington to ask me if Philip talked to me about his clients! I pressed hard into the dough as I kneaded out, folded in. Perhaps it was because his attempt at flirtation had ended so badly that he now felt he had to put me down at every opportunity.

When the roll dough was satiny smooth, I buttered a bowl, turned the ball of dough until butter blanketed the top, then put it all aside to rise. I set new red potatoes on to boil for potato salad, then shredded mountains of cabbage, carrots, and onions for coleslaw. When both salads were mixed into perfect creamy mounds, I covered them with wrap and placed them in the refrigerator, before the temptation to indulge became overwhelming. While I was making out a menu for the anniversary party, a sigh welled up. I looked at my watch. Five o’clock.

For most of the world it was cocktail time. The previous evening’s bad vibes still clung like depression. I felt as if I had failed in some way. And I missed Philip. I missed Arch. What the heck, I even missed Schulz.

The cooking and menu done, I wandered out to the living room. My eyes fastened on Adele’s crystal dish filled with individually wrapped Lindt Lindors, Mozartkugels, and London Mints. I was feeling bad. Adele had told me many times to help myself. Settling on the couch, I reached for the dish.

Opening a wrapped imported chocolate is like a moment from Christmas Eve. Your mouth waters. Each tiny crinkle of paper, each flash of colored foil is agony. You think if you don’t get this chocolate into your mouth in the next five seconds, you’re going to die.

The first Mozartkugel dropped into my hand like a smooth, dark ball from heaven. I bit into it very slowly. As the chocolate melted I closed my eyes and waited for nirvana.

And oh, it came. When you roll chocolate around on your tongue, the dark creamy sweetness invades all your senses. Delight worms its way down your spine. Your ears tingle. You have to say Mmmm because you just can’t help it. Some people say the taste of chocolate is second only to sex. I say putting it second is in dispute.

I ate two more Kugels, then a couple of Lindors, and finished off with several London Mints, which are of a cloudy softness that defies description. Well, so much for dinner. Arch and the Farquhars would be home late. Julian was at a rock concert. I cleaned up the pile of wrinkled wrappings and decided to go to bed. I was exhausted, and as I snuggled down between the sheets I consoled myself with the thought that at least chocolate caused no hangover.

Dreams of Mozart’s face on the wrapper of the Kugel awoke me at sunup Monday morning. Clouds the color of much-washed pink crinolines skirted the eastern horizon. Out my window, birds sang in a lush concert. Beautiful, but too early. Despite the best efforts of the avian philharmonic, I was able to get back to sleep until seven, when Tom Schulz called.

To my groggy greeting, he said, “Sloth is one of the Seven Deadly Sins.”

“Is murder on there? That’s what I’m going to do to you if you start up again with these early-morning calls.”

“Want me to call you back?”

I told him I could do nothing without coffee and would call him back when I was drinking something very black—within the next five minutes, I hoped. I crept down the stairs and was packing a double measure of espresso into the Gaggia basket when the motion detector began its high shrieking wheee.

NEW POTATO SALAD

12 new red potatoes, boiled in their skins just until tender (15 to 20 minutes)

about ¾ cup best-quality mayonnaise (preferably homemade)

whipping cream

½ teaspoon salt

white pepper to taste

about 2 teaspoons snipped fresh dill

2 garlic cloves, minced

Cool and quarter potatoes. Thin mayonnaise slightly with cream. Add salt, white pepper, dill, and garlic. Taste and correct seasoning. Chill.

Makes 4 servings

A quick check revealed that the motion it was detecting was mine. No caffeine, no intellect: I had forgotten to turn off the system. Maybe I was hung over, after all. Once the alarm was off I announced apology to the household over the intercom, called Aspen Meadow Security to interrupt the automatic dial, and turned off the loop. With hands shaking, I sat down at the kitchen desk, sipped the foam from the espresso, and waited for my brain to engage before punching in Schulz’s number.

“You doing better?” he wanted to know. His voice sounded farther away than before. Maybe the alarm had done something to my ears.

“No,” I said truthfully. “Listen. I catered my first aphrodisiac dinner Saturday night. It was a fiasco. The only thing I could find out about Sissy is that Brian Harrington, who is fiftyish and married, seems unduly attracted to her.”

“Whoa,” he said, “don’t skip the good part! What about the dinner? Did the aphrodisiacs work? I mean, not for you of course, what with your professional involvement in the food and all—”

I sighed and twirled the telephone cord, wondering idly if I could thereby set off another alarm.

I said, “I told them what all the foods were supposed to do. But it didn’t happen. In fact, the effect was most definitely the opposite. When I left, Brian Harrington was asleep on a couch.”

“Alone, I assume.”

“Alone.”

“Doesn’t sound as if your aphrodisiacs did the trick, Miss G.”

“Oh, I never was convinced of the science of the thing. Probably suggestion is all there is to it.”

“Sort of like being a psychologist. They suggest a lot except how to agree in court.”

I paused, then told him that there had been quite a brouhaha between Weezie and Philip’s sister, Elizabeth. I added, “And here’s something: Weezie Harrington knew Sissy did her junior-year internship with Philip Miller. And Philip might have been seeing her,” I added lamely, “on the side. Seeing Weezie, I mean.”

Schulz gasped a little too loudly. “And two-timing the town’s caterer? I do know Miller was in contact, but not necessarily amicable contact, with the Harringtons. Something going on in town, still need to get details. I haven’t heard anything in particular about Weezie Harrington and Miller, but I’ll check on that, too. Did he tell you anything?”

“Who, Philip? Like what?”

“Anything strange. Anything that feels out of place.”

I said, “I don’t think so.”

“Give it some thought, you might know more than you think. Call me later in the week.” When he hung up, there was another click, and I wondered briefly if the CIA was checking on General Bo.

I bustled around the kitchen making breakfast. The forty-degree weather demanded a quick bread. I had developed a recipe for Arch’s preschool that had become a favorite with clients. Perhaps the idea of eating something called Montessori muffins made people think they were learning something. Food can substitute for so many things.

I got out whole wheat flour and molasses and began to chop prunes. I supposed Schulz had the right to hang up without saying good-bye. After my business nearly collapsed last fall, we had started to date. But not for long.