Diane Davidson - Dying for Chocolate

“You were going out with Philip Miller, weren’t you?” asked Armstrong.

For the second time that day unexpected tears stung my eyes. The last thing I wanted to do was fall apart in front of these two.

I cleared my throat and said, “I was very fond of him.”

Armstrong pressed on. “Anyone jealous of that relationship? Your ex-husband? Miller’s ex-wife lives in Hawaii, but what do you know about any former girlfriends of his?”

“I don’t know about his former girlfriends,” I said with some sharpness. The only thing I knew about Philip’s ex-wife was that she existed. For heaven’s sake, we’d only been going out for a month. To my relief the brink of tears passed. I drew myself up and said, “I try to have as little to do with my ex-husband as possible.”

“We have several reports on file, Ms. Bear. All from you.”

I said evenly, “He wasn’t at the brunch.”

“Did Philip have anything to drink?” asked Boyd. “Coffee? Juice?” He stared at me. “Champagne?”

I said, “I didn’t see him drink anything.”

“But twenty minutes later he’s driving like he’s drunk.”

I put my hands flat down on the island, then leaned toward their impassive faces. “Then why wouldn’t he pull over?”

Boyd said, “Macho guy, he’s not going to pull over and ask a woman for help. Maybe.”

I shook my head, then said, “Look, why don’t you see what the eye doctor says? Maybe he was on some medication or something—”

“Thank you, Ms. Bear,” said Boyd. He nodded to Armstrong to indicate the interview was over. “We need to talk to you, we’ll call.”

I grated cheddar and jack, beat eggs and swirled in flour and cream, drained chiles, then mounded the cheese into pale hillocks on the pie plates. The cream mixture made a wonderful glug-glug noise as I poured it over the cheese. I spooned the chiles on top and then artfully sloshed picante sauce over each. As I put the pies into the Farquhars’ oven the security gate buzzed. Not the police again already. This time I was going to cook whether they liked it or not.

It was not the police.

It was my ex-husband.

He gave me a broad smile in the closed-circuit camera. He lifted up his hands to show he was unarmed.

I let his car through and felt sick. In my state of confusion over the accident and the work for the dinner party, I had forgotten to call up to Arch and make sure he was ready. I stared at the intercom. If I could mince with a Cuisinart, I could master this. I pressed buttons and called hopefully throughout the house. No answer. I made my way out to the front porch. There was no way I was letting him into the house.

“Heard you lost your boyfriend,” he said once I came through the door.

I looked around for neighbors, the general, Julian, anybody. The only thing I saw were the little marble and clay pots that the general was supposed to fill with geraniums and impatiens sometime during the weekend.

I said, “News travels fast.”

“I need to talk to you.”

“I’m listening,” I said as I sidled away from him, moved a couple of unpotted plants aside, and tentatively sat.

“I didn’t say I wanted to go to bed with you. I just said I wanted to talk.”

“I can hear you just fine. And if you want to talk, you’re going to have to watch your mouth.”

He rolled his eyes and shook his head, then smiled at me indulgently.

John Richard Korman’s extraordinary handsomeness, his boyish sensitive face, brown hair, and light blue eyes, always made me feel light-headed. He also played his doctor aura to good effect. He did this not just with me but with all manner of women, I came to find out after we were married. It was this type of man Henry Kissinger had been talking about when he said that power was the great aphrodisiac.

This was the man I used to love, the man who had slapped me when he was drunk, the man who did not love me. I knew to guard against his disarming good looks by keeping the conversation short. Kissinger, I reasoned, was probably talking about himself.

I pressed my fingers down into the dirt around one of the geraniums waiting to be planted. It needed water. Then I brought out a paring knife I had slipped into my apron pocket and put it down next to the plant, where John Richard couldn’t see it. Just in case.

He said, “A female friend of mine is going to teach Arch a few magic tricks.”

I said, “Oh, please. Your last girlfriend tried to teach him geometry and he’s gotten D’s ever since.”

“Maybe that’s because someone’s too busy catering to help him with his homework.”

I closed my eyes. I did not want to get into a fight. When I opened my eyes, John Richard was giving me his toothy innocent smile.

He said, “So where are Marla’s sister and her famous husband? What’s his name—Rommel?”

“Don’t.”

He looked at the sky, then said, “Well, let me ask you this. Who’re you cooking for tonight?”

“The Harringtons.”

He laughed. He guffawed, started to say something, and then snickered and wouldn’t quit. I was not going to give him the satisfaction of asking what the joke was. He said, “This is just ironic as hell.”

“Why’s that?” This conversation was strange, but familiar. One subject, then another, laughing one minute, then. . . my neck snapped up involuntarily. Too late.

John Richard picked up a clay pot and threw it at the front door. The crack of the shatter reverberated in my ears. Then a second pot smashed against the house.

“Stop it, stop it,” I squealed and buried my face in my hands. My throat was raw, like in those nightmares when you call for help but have no voice. I looked up in time to see him kick a third pot. Fragments went spinning away from the porch steps.

“Okay! Okay!” My voice begged. I looked helplessly at the knife. What did I think I was going to do with it, anyway? “Whatever it is, you can have it,” I cried. “Just stop. Arch is on his way out here.”

John Richard glared at me. He spat out each word. “You’ve ruined my life. My family’s gone, my practice has lost business. All your fault, you bitch. So listen up. If I want my son to learn magic, he’s going to learn.”

“All right! Just calm down, for God’s sake! I’ve got a party to do tonight, and I don’t want trouble!”

He picked up another pot and threatened me with it. I could hear my heart beating in my chest. “Don’t want trouble?” he mimicked in a high voice. “Don’t want trouble?”

Before I could answer, there was General Bo suddenly behind John Richard. The general grabbed The Jerk’s neck with both hands. John Richard dropped to his knees like a rag doll. The clay pot fell out of his hands and rolled down the driveway.

“Oh, stop! Stop!” I cried as I jumped to my feet. A ball of nausea collected in my stomach.

General Bo Farquhar took no notice of me. He spoke down to John Richard’s head, which he had torqued around to force eye contact.

“Now you listen to me, you little son of a bitch,” said the general with such ferocity that my whole body broke out in a sweat. “There’s a law in this state called Make My Day. You set foot on this property again, I’ll use it. I’ll show you how the Special Forces can kill people without making any noise. Is that clear?”

John Richard made the throaty sound of a man about to be strangled. The front door opened. The general released John Richard into the freshly raked dirt at the side of the driveway just as Arch came out. Arch looked soundlessly from person to person, then pushed his glasses high up on his nose.

He said, “Should I go back inside, Mom?”

John Richard was wiping dirt from his nose. I wanted to say, Yes, yes, go back! But I could not. John Richard gave an almost imperceptible nod. I gestured to Arch to go. He plodded toward his father, who was brushing dirt off his polo shirt.