Val McDermid - The Vanishing Point

‘But now that Joshu’s planted the seed, the idea’s there and it won’t go away.’ I was talking to myself mostly, but Scarlett picked up on what I’d said.

‘It won’t happen,’ she said. ‘You’re Jimmy’s godmother and, if it comes to it, you’re the one who should take care of him. He’s as close to you as he is to his dad and you’d take proper care of him.’

I was so flabbergasted I couldn’t think of a thing to say. The idea of taking Jimmy on if anything happened to Scarlett had never crossed my mind. I suppose I’d imagined that Joshu’s parents would step up to the plate when they were confronted with the reality of their own flesh and blood deprived of a parent. Or that Leanne would assume responsibility for a boy who was, after all, her cousin. It hadn’t occurred to me that Scarlett would expect me to become Jimmy’s surrogate mother if she died.

‘You would, you know. You’d be better than you think,’ she said firmly.

‘Me? But I’ve got no experience, no maternal instincts. Christ, Scarlett, Joshu would be a better option.’

She laughed. ‘Your face is a picture. You look like you’ve caught your tit in a mangle. It’s OK, Steph. I’m not going to die on you. Simon says I’ll make it, and he should know.’

That was pretty cold comfort. There was a reason I was childless, and it wasn’t merely my failure to sustain a long-term relationship. I was childless from choice. I’d never wanted to be a mum, never felt the ticking of the biological clock, never considered my life unfulfilled in the absence of a child. Yes, I was good with Jimmy. But that didn’t mean I wanted to be his mum.

Nevertheless, I didn’t want Joshu to be Jimmy’s fallback position if anything happened to Scarlett. ‘He’d be better off with Leanne,’ I protested. ‘She’s great with him. And she’s family.’

Scarlett shook her head. ‘She’ll be off to Spain soon. I’m not having my lad brought up among a load of foreigners, not when he can stop here, where he belongs.’

‘She can always come back from Spain if need be. She loves him, Scarlett.’

‘It’s not just about love,’ she said, implacable as granite. ‘It’s about ambition. And aspiration. And desire. I dragged myself up this far in spite of a lousy start with a crap family who wanted to drag me down into the dirt beside them. And although Leanne’s a decent enough lass, that’s still her mindset. She’s always going to settle for what’s easy, not push for the highest ground. She’s a fighter all right. But she doesn’t understand what goals are worth fighting for. What I want for Jimmy, what I dream of for my son, is for him to be amazing. For him to do amazing things. And he’ll never do that if Leanne’s in charge of his life. He’ll learn to settle. To do the least he can get away with. But you? You’re a different kettle of fish, Steph. Plus you’ll never let him forget what I achieved. How far I came.’

Her words made me uneasy and uncomfortable. I knew Joshu would be outraged at the very thought. Leanne would be insulted and hurt. And God alone knew what Jimmy would make of it, should it ever come to pass.

But Simon had said it wouldn’t. Simon had said I was safe from Scarlett’s mad machinations. Unfortunately, Simon wasn’t a clairvoyant. And by the end of the week, Scarlett’s fallback plan had come one degree closer.

35

Joshu was dead. I heard it on the radio. It was a shocking way to start the day. I’d known about the drugs from the first time I met him, but it never occurred to me that they would kill him. Yet here it was on the morning news. DJ Joshu, star of the London club scene, ex-husband of TV star Scarlett Higgins, dead of a suspected overdose.

And yes, to be frank, I did feel put out to get that particular piece of news at the same time as the rest of the world. Scarlett called me most days. She called about all sorts of trivial stuff, but now something major had happened and I was hearing it on an early morning news bulletin. I know I should have been thinking about Scarlett first and foremost, but I held on to my chagrin for a few minutes before I put my own ego to one side and considered what effect this news would have had on my friend.

The life he’d chosen had changed the man that Scarlett had initially fallen for. Too many drugs, too much adulation, too many late nights and too much indulgence stripped away his better qualities. He’d grown increasingly petulant, self-righteous and abrasive. Lately, he’d become somebody I would have called the cops on if he’d shown up at my front door. But none of that erased the history between them. Scarlett had truly loved him for a long time. He was the father of her child and she’d never failed to acknowledge his right to a role in Jimmy’s life. This news would have been crushing. The more I thought about it, the more I realised how badly she must have taken it for her pain to have overridden her instinct to get on the phone and share.

So I got on the road and headed north. As soon as I got on the main road, I called Scarlett’s mobile. It was Leanne who answered. ‘Hiya, Steph. You heard the news?’

‘On the radio,’ I said. ‘How is she?’

‘In bits,’ Leanne said. ‘She’s in the shower right now.’

‘When did you hear?’

‘The cops came round a couple of hours ago and broke the news. I thought it was pretty good of them. I mean, technically she’s not his next of kin any more. But obviously, they knew who he was.’

‘Somebody with an eye for public relations didn’t want the Daily Mail splashing tomorrow with “HEARTLESS COPS LET ME FIND OUT ABOUT JOSHU’S DEATH ON MORNING TV”.’ Cynical, I know, but probably close to the truth.

‘Whatever. The main thing is they didn’t let her find out through rumours and gossip.’

‘How did she take it?’

‘She looked like she’d been slapped. They didn’t stick around long. I made her a cup of tea and got her to drink a brandy. She didn’t say much. Didn’t cry either. My guess is she’s still in shock. It was about time for Jimmy to get up, so I told her to go and get in the shower, I’d see to him. He’s eating his cereal in front of the telly and she still hasn’t come out of the shower. I’m glad you rang, Steph. I was going to call you. You’re better at dealing with her when she’s in a state than I am.’

‘I’m on my way now. Take care of her, Leanne. Get Marina to take Jimmy out for the day. And tell her to make sure the press don’t follow them. The last thing we need is “TRAGIC JOSHU’S SON PLAYS UNAWARE” in the red-tops. And talk to George, too.’ I had no doubt there would be deals to be done when the initial shock wore off. I didn’t relish writing the copy, but I already knew Scarlett would be in an ‘only Steph will do’ mood.

There was a familiar paparazzi camp outside the gates of the hacienda, reporters and photographers surrounding me and baying like crazy people. I refused to meet their eyes and concentrated on remaining stony-faced till I was inside. To my surprise, I wasn’t the only new arrival. When I walked into the kitchen, Dr Simon Graham was nursing a cup of coffee at the breakfast bar. He looked more rumpled than usual, his hair tousled and a shadow of stubble on cheeks and chin. His shirt didn’t look like this morning’s model. I nursed a momentary bad thought before he greeted me with, ‘I came as soon as the police were done with me.’

‘The police? What were the police doing with you?’ I headed for the coffee machine. I’d already been up for more than two hours without a caffeine fix and I needed to put that right before I had to deal with Scarlett.

He sighed. ‘It looks like the drugs Joshu overdosed on were stolen from my clinic.’