Edward Lee - Ghouls

Bitch, he thought. Bitch.

She was ready to run to the police, ready to ruin everything, all he’d worked for, all his dreams. The phone call to Officer Morris was proof. Not that he’d believe a word she’d say. How could he?

Still, though …

Good Lord, I wonder what she’s told Glen.

He hadn’t even considered that.

His own doubts came in a riot of questions. What if they relocate? Surely they’re intelligent enough. Worse, what if they’re found, and… Pictures, my God, what if someone photographs them or shoots one? What if a poacher shoots one? And what am I going to do if the TTX doesn’t work?

He heard a door upstairs open and close. A floorboard creaked. Footsteps.

He sat and listened. As predicted, he heard her come downstairs, go into the kitchen, and come back out again.

“Charles,” she called from the hall, exasperated. “What happened to the Cokes I put in the refrigerator?”

“I gave one apiece to the boys from Lawn-King, dear. They thatched and fertilized the yard today.”

“Shit. You gave away my Cokes.”

“Well, it was hot out, dear. And thatching’s hard work.”

Gripes, he thought. God, how she loves to gripe. The goddamned house could be on fire, and she’d be more concerned about her Cokes. “There’s fresh lemonade,” he said.

He went into the kitchen, following her footsteps.

She was bending over as she reached into the refrigerator. Willard frowned. Her dress clung to her ass like tissue. She did it on purpose, he knew. Tight, low-cut dresses. Pants that made her vulva protrude. Crotchless undergarments, when she wore them at all. She’d walk the streets nude if it were legal. But that’s what he got for marrying an erotopath. Could it be she’d been born with two libidinal systems?

“Want some?” she asked.

“Yes, please.”

She poured two glasses from a plastic pitcher.

“The Lawn-King people say we have chinch bugs,” he told her, setting his glass on the counter. “That’s what caused the brown spots. They want to come back in a few weeks, to spray.”

Nancy half emptied her glass of lemonade. Her gulping throat reminded Willard of a toad. He wondered if she gulped Glen like that.

“Charles,” she said, “don’t you think we have more important things to worry about than the lawn?”

“Yes, I suppose you’re right.” He watched her finish her drink and refill the glass. “So tell me,” he went on. “How long have you been fucking Glen behind my back?”

Nancy nearly spat out her drink.

“All ways and always?” Willard suggested. “I’ll bet you ride that poor boy like a horse…and I suspect he’s hung like one, too. Otherwise, why would you bother with him?” Willard grinned. “Does he put it up your ass?”

“You’re sick!” she said, having finally swallowed her shock. “Jesus, Charles, you really do have a problem. Jealousy’s one thing, but I don’t deserve this kind of shit. Name one time when I’ve given you reason to believe I’ve been unfaithful?”

Willard exploded with laughter. “Please, dear, spare me. I can’t stand to see a woman put her foot in her mouth… I’ve been listening to your phone conversations with Glen for months now. My extension monitor records them all on tape. It’s a remarkable little machine.”

She stood still, thinking, challenging him with her silence. He could almost hear her little brain ticking away. Abruptly, she said, “You’re lying. You don’t have any extension monitor.”

“Oh, but I must, dear. How else would I know about your chat with Kurt Morris just a while ago? Really, Squidd McGuffy’s?”

Nancy’s face turned white.

“You were going to tell him everything,” he said. “You were going to destroy it all for me without so much as blinking an eye. And I’m sure you’ve already told Glen, haven’t you? Haven’t you?”

“Yes!” she shouted. She let it all run out of her now. “Yes, I told him! Somebody had to do something, Charles. It’s dangerous for him out there every night. I’m not going to let him get killed while you just sit back and do nothing.”

“Did he believe you?”

Nancy didn’t answer.

“I can almost forgive you telling Glen; he is after all quite vulnerable. I’m sure I could pay him off. But Officer Morris— that’s a very different matter indeed.” His voice shifted. “You’ve betrayed me, Nancy, in a way that can’t be tolerated.”

He was certain the sudden change in his tone terrified her. She picked up a mahogany breadboard by the handle and feebly raised it up. “Don’t try anything, Charles. I’ll flatten your head with this if you do,” but her warning issued out in wavers, verifying her fear. “You can’t admit your failures, you never could. The plan backfired, Charles. Face it. It’s out of our hands now. Sooner or later we’d have to go to the police.”

He didn’t like being told he’d failed; it reminded him of his father. How did she know, anyway? The plan could still be salvaged.

“Yes, sooner or later,” he said. “So you decided sooner.”

“That’s right. I’ve got no choice, seeing how you’ve lost all touch with reality. Tonight, I’m telling Morris everything. And you can’t stop me.”

Willard smiled a great, proud, tight-lipped smile, like the smile of a child who’d outfoxed an adult. “Unfortunately, my love, I can stop you. As a matter of perfect fact, I already have.” His eyes beamed at her, his smile glowed. “Any tingling yet? Numbness of the lips, perhaps? Excess salivation?”

Her voice coyly turned up. “What are you blabbering about?”

“I don’t suppose you’ve wondered why I haven’t had any of the lemonade.”

“Why?”

“I put enough TTX in it to kill the Jolly Green Giant.”

She smiled back at him. “Now I know you’re full of shit, Charles,” she said, firmly confident. “TTX isn’t soluble in water. Unless…”

“Unless what, dear?” It felt so good. So good to fool her so completely. “Unless it’s mixed with a citrate buffer. Like, for instance, citric acid. A chief ingredient in lemonade.”

She dropped the breadboard and bolted out of the kitchen. She dashed crazily down the hall, around the foyer, into the study, stumbling, bumping into walls, propelling herself blindly forward. Willard followed her like a manic shadow. He was chuckling, moving perhaps as desperately as she, so not to miss a single detail of her death. He stayed right on her heels as she flew into the basement doorway and down the stairs.

The overhead lights flashed on. Willard casually propped himself up on the dissection table. He lit a cigarette and watched Nancy root through one of the storage cabinets.

“I know there’s a bottle of ipecac in there somewhere,” he offered. “Good luck finding it, though. But you know as well as I that emesis at this point is useless.”

She ignored him. From a small, square bottle she poured a heap of copper sulfate into a beaker, then filled the beaker with water and guzzled it down. Halfway into repeating the process, she fell to her knees and began to vomit violently on the floor.

“Told you so,” Willard said.

She continued to spasm and retch. It was an awful croaking sound, and very unbecoming in a woman.

“Please, dear,” he said, unable to keep from wincing. “Try and die with some eloquence. This is really very distasteful.”

He knew the TTX would take about twenty minutes to kill, her. But why waste time? She wouldn’t feel much.

First, he pulled on gloves. He knew all about the state police lasers and crystal-resin treatments that could detect fingerprints on human skin. It amazed him—the level to which forensic technology had advanced. Soon, electroporetic techniques would make semen as identifiable as a latent fingerprint. They were convicting rapists with hair-root cells, and getting blood subtypes off cigarette butts. Willard knew he’d have to be extremely cautious.