Konrath, J.A. - DRACULAS (A Novel of Terror)

Joe

• • •

Okay. Don’t want to step on anyone’s toes, but …

It’s a great sequence, but I don’t see what purpose it serves. We introduce a new character only to kill him. I admit that I am by nature a taker-outer rather than a puter-inner, so let me give my reasons for relegating this to alternate endings (along with my Dr. Driscoll sequence).

1) I think Dr. Cook appearing to Shanna in clean scrubs adds to his mystique.

2) having draculas escape on Pvt Rogers’s watch indicates that the autoclave was a failure and that dracs could be escaping elsewhere. (Clay was blown through an open window, so that’s a different story)

3) in order to have closure in this book, we need the reader to buy that the autoclave bomb worked, that this episode is over, and whatever comes after is all new.

Pace, Blake.

Paul

• • •

Good points, Paul.

Blake (and I) wanted to drill it home that Cook is still alive because he accidentally was mistaken for human, just like Duane Jones in Night of the Living Dead was accidentally killed because he was mistaken for a zombie. In both cases, it is the men with the guns who make the mistake.

I killed Rogers because I thought he wasn’t the best example of exemplary soldiering. Blake originally didn’t bring the dracula into it. When I did bring the dracula in, I killed it, so there weren’t any more running around.

But I also think your points are correct.

What if Rogers gave him a free pass and didn’t die, and Cook’s scrubs were clean?

I don’t want to force this scene in, but I like what it brings.

On the other hand, maybe we can give Cook a line when he’s being interviewed: “I barely escaped. One of the soldiers even wanted to shoot me, until I showed him I hadn’t been bitten.”

Thoughts?

Joe

• • •

Ditto - very valid points, Paul…by way of explanation, I started this scene, because in reading the final sequence in DRACULAS, it occurred to me that (a) I thought the perimeter scene was under-drawn, and (b) the original idea of having Mort escape in opposite fashion to the end of the NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD hadn’t been fully achieved. But maybe we don’t need that. I do agree that we need to have the full sense that all of the draculas are dead and that perhaps this also screws up the pacing of the final scenes…let’s hear what Jeff thinks and sleep on it. I’m not married to this either way, and if it gets relegated to deleted scenes, I’m okay with that.

Blake

• • •

I think you’re pushing for a pop-cultural point/reference that no one’s gonna notice or care about.

I’m not trying to rain on anyone’s parade, but I don’t think it adds to the narrative. And if it doesn’t, then ya gotta let it go. This is not a tantrum igniter for me. I simply don’t think it’s necessary. This is a collaboration and majority rules. But for my part, I think it’s extraneous, so I vote “alternate ending.”

Paul

• • •

I think we can keep it omitted. But then I do want a bit added to Dr. Cook at the end, explaining he almost got shot.

While folks probably won’t notice the pop culture reference, the whole “Moorecook is saved” was part of my first conversation with Blake about Draculas, and one of the reasons we wanted to write this story in the first place. Night of the Living Dead (and I Am Legend by Matheson—at least the Vincent Price film version of it) was about trapped people surrounded by monsters. NotLD blew me away the first time I saw it (nine years old?), especially the nihilistic ending. Doing a reverse-nihilistic ending drew me to this project.

But then, as long as it’s known what our intent was, I see no problem in cutting it.

Curious what Jeff thinks…

Joe

September 28, 2010

Okay, looking back, maybe I’m being a tight-ass. If this section is important to you guys, if leaving it out’s going to make the book something less than you intended, let’s go with it. Seriously.

Paul

• • •

But honestly, Paul, if it struck you as a speedbump in the pacing, particularly at the most critical part of the book (the end), that gives me serious concern about the scene and that maybe it shouldn’t be in there. I’m sure we’ve all written books having a certain scene or note in mind to hit at the end, and then when the time came, it just didn’t jive with the rest of the book. Let’s see what Jeff thinks.

Blake

• • •

I’m withholding my vote until I’m done with the proofreading. But the fact that a scene was part of the original idea should be irrelevant to whether or not it’s appropriate for the book as it stands now.

Jeff

• • •

I’m contacting various Kindle booklight manufacturers to see if we can get an endorsement deal. A Kindle light saves Adam’s life, and perhaps some company would be happy enough about the product placement to cover our start-up costs (art, formatting, website.)

Plus, it would be great publicity, for both us and them, if Draculas was the very first ebook with advertising in it. Both Blake and Jeff know I’ve been predicting this for years…

Joe

• • •

Agreed.

Blake

• • •

Remember, though, the light is dying as soon as he turns it on, creating a ticking clock to darkness.

Jeff

• • •

It they don’t give us a deal, I’ll have the light die and Adam can smash it into the wall and say, “This fucking piece of shit is so unreliable!”

Blake

• • •

Adam started running, made it out of the laboratory and halfway through reception, when his XXXXXX finally faded to black.

He froze, waited a moment, thinking his eyes would adjust, that he would be able to see something , but it never happened.

His first instinct was primal, animal panic, a sense of the walls both closing in and spinning until he’d completely lost his bearing.

XXXXXX. It leaves you in the dark to be eaten by vampires. $29.99.

Jeff

• • •

XXXXXX…it’s not going to help you when the lights go out during a vampire outbreak.

Blake

• • •

Our emails crossed and yours is much funnier…LOL

Blake

• • •

Clay stopped at the Pepsi machine and got a refreshingly tasty Mountain Dew. Halfway into sipping the delicious beverage, he heard a noise on his left. Reaching into his Levis 517 Boot Cut jeans, he removed his Benchmade Griptilian folder, flicking open the blade.

But it wasn’t a dracula. It was Jenny, riding a brand new Schwinn Seneca 700cc, her L.A. Gear Walk N Tone shoes furious on the pedals.

“They’re coming!” she yelled while screeching the brakes. “But before we run, I need to apply some L’Oreal True Match Concealer! I don’t fight monsters without looking my best!”

Guys, we’re gonna be rich…

Joe

• • •

Okay, I’d never heard an XXXXXX, but now I really want one.

Paul

• • •

No, I completely agree with Paul. It’s a good self-contained scene, but it feels less like “enhancing the irony” than “overexplaining a plot point.” Readers don’t want six pages of a new character right at the finale.

Jeff

• • •

I’ve gotta say, this book flows incredibly well for a four-author project! I’d expected to find a lot of awkward pacing, but no, it’s smoooooooth. Huge kudos to Blake for managing to figure out where everything should be pasted together.