Konrath, J.A. - DRACULAS (A Novel of Terror)

I just put it into the manuscript.

Blake

• • •

Clay’s death…rocks big time…love Alice fusing to his hand. I think we’re all set to write the end tomorrow…Joe has about 100-300 words to write for Jenny and we’re done. I’ve put your Clayton scene into the manuscript, Paul.

Blake

September 23, 2010

I’ve read what we’ve got so far. Very nice job, everyone.

I finished the Jenny scenes, and also added to everyone’s rooftop scenes in order to make her character consistent throughout them. I wanted to have her focus be on Randall, and for Randall to know that she stayed for him. It’s in Dracula 4.2

On the promotional front, people have downloaded almost 700 free teaser copies of Draculas. Also, I heard from the publisher of Blood Lite, and Paul and I should be able to use “A Sound of Blunder” in the extras without being sued.

We’re at about 78,000 words, and we’ve written 70k of them in just five weeks. You guys are rock stars. It’s crazy how quick and easy this was to write.

Paul, can you put an excerpt from one of your ebooks into your dropbox folder to use as an extra? Maybe THE KEEP, in sticking to the vampire theme. (and yes, I know Rasalom isn’t a vampire.) MIDNIGHT MASS would work, too.

Jeff, you missed a question in the interview section.

The goal is to get this to the proofreader by next Monday, and the formatter before the end of the month.

Joe

• • •

BTW, if we do a sequel, we should call it “DRACULASES”

Joe

• • •

Not to bombard you guys with emails, but I had an idea for extras that’s obvious.

I liked Clay’s death scene, but I also dug the discussion we had about Clay surviving.

This is an ebook. So why not do both? As an extra, we could have an alternate ending, like they do on DVDs. We could even have more than one. Gimmicky, sure, but it would be fun for each of us to pen a different ending where different, outrageous things happen.

Also, remember Paul’s scene where Shanna liked firing the gun? That deleted scene that could be used as an extra. There may be other scenes too…

Joe

• • •

Shanna and the new Mort in “end scenes.” Feel free to play with this.

If we do a sequel, I think it will be far more interesting to have Clay’s father turn Shanna into a new Clay - a pissed-off, gun-toting momma out for blood.

Paul

• • •

Nicely done, Paul.

I like it, but I went in a different direction while fleshing out the rooftop scenes, and our scenes don’t quite mesh.

I dig the shaped charge concept. For emotional impact though, both Jenny’s and the reader’s, I believe it is stronger to have Jenny know it’s a bomb and that she’s going to die. I also believe we need to see the bomb go off and the hospital destroyed, and perhaps that Shanna should be the one to bear witness to it. Explaining the hospital will blow up in dialog, without seeing it sort of takes away the surprise. And not seeing it happen is sort of unsatisfying, and readers will be asking “Well, did the bomb go off? Did Jenny make it?.”

I like Shanna seeking out Clay’s dad, like Mort with the baby, and like the mystery behind Driscoll and her team,

Can all of you read the last the last few scenes on the roof, then Paul’s scene, so we can discuss? Or can I go in a play around with Paul’s version, and show what I’m going for?

This, BTW, is a perfect example of the “extra and deleted scenes” bonus features I mentioned…

Joe

• • •

What is this then?

The roof of the hospital exploded in an incandescent flare. The boom and shockwave stopped her in her tracks and she watched in horror as the windows and walls of the fourth floor belched flame and debris, followed almost immediately by the third and second and first. Every entrance, every exit blew its doors and shot flames like giant blowtorches.

And then the floors began to collapse—first the roof onto the fourth, then the fourth onto the third, pancaking all the way down to ground level in a mini-reenactment of the trade towers’ collapse, leaving only a flame-riddled cloud of smoke and dust and debris on the far side of the parking lot.

Paul

• • •

Gotcha. I just reread it more carefully. During the first read, for some reason I thought what Shanna saw was the explosion Adam caused. Adam’s explosion killed Clay, but because Shanna thought the second one killed Clay, and I thought the second was the first.

Still, I’m not sure we need the bomb explained, or that Jenny’s last thought should be one of confusion at what she’s seeing as opposed to realization that she’s dead.

Do you mind me reworking it a bit?

Joe

• • •

I’d rather forgo the exposition myself. OTOH, readers are going to wonder how this bomb did what it does. Just saying it sterilized the scene is asking for a leap of faith. Mention plasma jet and 10k degrees, and they can be pretty certain there ain’t gonna be any survivors—not draculas, not humans, not even viruses.

Paul

• • •

I think I see what my issue is. The final six scenes should be rearranged, so Clay’s death immediately follows Adam’s detonation. Then we can have Shanna and Jenny react to that.

Then I can break up Jenny’s last scene. Half before Shanna goes into the interrogation room, then Shanna, then Jenny realizing it’s a bomb, then back to Shanna to see the explosion, then Mort.

Then we can include the bomb explanation, still get the emotional impact of Jenny realizing her own demise, and avoid the confusion of which explosion is which.

Make sense?

Joe

• • •

Go for it.

Paul

• • •

Almost done. This works much better for me re-arranged.

Do you think it’s better to have Dr. Mortenson ask Shanna her name, or would it be a bit more fun for him to know her name and assume some familiarity with her? It would give her, and the reader, a chance to maybe recognize him before his reveal, even though no one will.

Also, I’ve got an epilogue idea that I’m going to write. We can omit it from DRACULAS, but it’s where I want to go when the sequel rolls around…

Joe

• • •

I think we can give our readers more credit. “Dr. Mortenson” is a pretty fair clue. And if not, twice she thinks she’s met him before. Pairing those with your previous transformation scene pretty much gives it away, no? I don’t think we need to hit them over the head. I’d rather have them make the leap on their own - that way they go from passive to participant. Those who don’t glom on their own will get smacked in the head with it when the guy in the scrubs starts feeding the baby his blood.

Paul

• • •

It wouldn’t be hitting them over the head. It would be subtle.

But I do think we need to spell it out in the last scene. I can see some folks going, “Huh? How did the doctor become a dracula?”

I’m going to tweak it to try it. We can always axe it if it doesn’t work.

Joe

• • •

Okay, 4.3 is done, and the book is done.

Let’s all read the last twenty pages and discuss if it works for everyone. I’m sure we’ll change some stuff. And we might cut my prologue, but I wanted to hint that a follow-up book will have werewolves in it.

Also, we still need a book excerpt from Paul and an interview question answered from Jeff.

Excellent job, everyone!

Joe

• • •