Konrath, J.A. - DRACULAS (A Novel of Terror)

Paul

• • •

Nice job, everyone.

I did a global search-and-replace to unify all the punctuation, and saved it as 2.6. I’ll write the Jenny/Randall Reunion, then stick it in there.

I’ll also throw it on my wife’s Kindle and see if she digs it so far. So everyone please stay out of 2.6 for the time being while I work on it this morning. When I’m done I’ll save it as 2.7.

If Blake and Jeff want to add to their scenes as Paul suggested, you guys need to do it one at a time and coordinate so you don’t save different versions.

@Paul - I used the “my middle name is” joke with Clay during the infodump scene. I figure Clay’s daddy gave him the middle name “Rambo”, as a survivalist very well might. We could save that punch line until Clay does the “Careful” line at the end of your section, or we could kill it if you don’t like it.

Joe

• • •

Randall bit Benny…so he’s already infected.

Paul

• • •

Paul, Adam’s injury concerned me as well, and started to really get on my nerves because I had to mention it constantly…I’ll go back into 2.whatever it is later tonight, and dial that back to a bruise or something so he can be ready to help Clay…and re: getting Stacie up to the roof…it’s just one flight, so I think maybe they’ll have to struggle to carry her stretcher and the (blood-transfusion stand thingy - what do they call those?)

I like your thoughts on Clay’s journey to the end. I’m for it.

Re: Moorecook…here’s where we need some magic…I love what Joe did earlier, implying he was undergoing some change, but I don’t want to telegraph that he’s truly changing back to human…maybe we need an ambiguous Mort section, (Joe?) hinting that he’s undergoing a reverse metamorphoses, but nothing anyone would suspect might lead him back to full on external humanity.

So after this young pediatric doctor has taken the baby, perhaps we have a scene in his POV (I know exactly how to do it), and only in the last paragraph do we realize this is Mort, heading back out into the world.

Blake

• • •

works for me

Paul

• • •

I was planning on doing the exact Mort/change scene you describe, Blake, right after the Jenny scene I’m working on.

Will be done in a bit, and add it to the manuscript.

Joe

• • •

You could dunk a cross in a pool of urine while environmentalists burned the American flag and Randall would not have been more outraged than he was at the sight of Benny the Clown holding his precious chainsaw.

Awesome line, Jeff.

Joe

• • •

Funny how Jeff and I both have adult male characters in love with their toys.

Paul

• • •

And they’re also able to provide their women with the best sex they’ve ever had in their lives!

Jeff

• • •

In the dropbox. Added the Jenny scene and the Moorecook scene, extended the Randall saves Jenny scene for a bit more emotional impact, and made a few minor fixes.

Randall doesn’t get bitten. He’s going to change because he swallowed some of Benny. That’ll start to happen once they’re on the roof.

As for getting Shanna up the stairs, I’m thinking a piggy-back, which would be rough enough that she’d lose more blood than she’s getting from the IV. Pretty extreme stuff, having a woman on your back who is sluicing blood down her legs. That could be how she dies…

Joe

• • •

We know you mean Stacie — I’ll get them all to the roof (via Clay) and maybe Blake can take the switch to Adam’s POV when he realizes she’s gone.

Paul

• • •

Exactly, but don’t kill her quite yet…make her almost dead, but conscious. I want Stacie and Adam to have a nice last moment. I can’t believe we’re putting this nice couple through this.

Blake

• • •

LOL. Yeah, Stacie.

This is funny, because in your new section you just called Shanna “Jenny.”

I say we just call every character by the sexually ambiguous name “Chris” and let the readers sort it out…

Joe

• • •

Draculas 2.8 is up wherein Adam’s arm is no longer broken.

Blake

• • •

Just put up Clay 5.2 (cont) which picks up where Clay 5.2 cut off.

It ends with Clay, Stacie, Adam, and Daniella on the stairs, heading for the roof. I’m handing off to Blake to pick up as they emerge onto the roof.

Paul

• • •

Nice scenes, Paul.

Okay, here’s where we’re all at:

Jeff, you next scene is Randall going up the stairs, protecting the kids. They’re walking up four flights with Clay, Stacie, et all. Randall will take the rear, keeping the draculas back. When he gets to the roof, he and Clay barricade the door. Then Randall loses one of his teeth.

Blake, your next scene is Stacie dying of blood loss once she gets to the roof. Adam says goodbye to her.

My scene is Jenny seeing Randall’s missing tooth, and watching him lose another. As the draculas are breaking in, Clay wants to shoot Randall. Jenny won’t let him. Randall insists he’ll fight it.

Jeff, your scene is Randall’s transformation. As a full blooded dracula, with a chainsaw, he kills a few dozen.

While that’s happening, Paul, Clay is loading on the four boys onto the chopper. During the evac, Adam gets bitten.

Blake, Adam knows what being bitten means. He says goodbye to his daughter, gives them to the TV people. Asks Clay for his gun, wanting to kill as many of them as possible. Clay says, “I’ve got a better idea—why not kill them all?”

My scene: Randall is mortally wounded. Clay and Adam walk by, tell Jenny the chopper is ready. Jen says she’s staying. Chopper takes off.

Clay and Adam setting the bombs is already written. Paul, need a quick scene of Clay running like hell for a window just as the explosion happens.

My last scene with Jenny. Randall dies. Jenny looks up at the Army, which has arrived. Big old bomb drops on the hospital.

Wrap up.

Joe

• • •

Nicely done, Joe, this is super helpful…don’t forget Clay’s death scene…I think you have your work cut out for you convincing me Jenny stays on the roof to die with Randall, tho. There’s no way he’s going to let her do that.

So only Shanna, Mort, and baby Murray survive?

That’s kind of cool…I want to really hint strongly in the final scene that, even though Shanna is grieving for Clay, there’s this connection with this new doctor. She’s crying, he embraces her. Something familiar about him. How cool would it be if Mort gets the girl in the end, and she doesn’t know it’s him?

Blake

• • •

Paul’s dispatching of Oasis…I think we have a winner in the most disgusting disturbing, carve-your-eyes-out-with a grapefruit spoon moment in a book chockfull of them. Well done, sir. This scene kicked major ass.

Blake

• • •

Sounds good. I’ll be able to upload much chainsaw mayhem tomorrow.

Jeff

• • •

Don’t ask me where that came from…I don’t want to know. Really.

Paul

• • •

Here’s an expansion, plus some tweaks that take into account timelines, etc. of what Joe passed around earlier today. I also put this in the dropbox. Thoughts? We okay with this?

GUIDE TO WRITING THE END — a lot of these are short short scenes, and I’ve broken it out like this to help me assemble it all in the end.