Larry McMurtry - Comanche Moon

"Come along--are you deaf?" Madame Scull said, turning briefly. "I'd like you to walk me home, if you ain't too busy saying goodbye to your sweethearts." "Ma'am, I just told you, I got no sweethearts to say goodbye to," Gus repeated.

"Capital!" Madame Scull said. "In that case I may ask you to stay for tea. Being abandoned by one's husband does make one so lonely." Then she looked over at Call, with a little smile.

"I would ask you too, Captain Call," she said, "but I expect you're more of a ladies' man than Captain McCrae. I imagine you do have sweethearts who will expect you soon." "Oh no, ma'am--Captain McCrae's the ladies' man," Call said, though Gus glared at him. "I guess I better go see which of the boys is in the mood to ride out again on short notice." "I think I'd locate a barber first, sir, and let him clean you up a little," Mrs. Scull said. "I believe you'd be rather handsome if you were barbered properly." "Thank you," Call said. "I intended to get barbered before I came to see the Governor." "Then why didn't you, sir?" Inez asked.

"You'd have made a far better impression if you'd gone to that little bit of trouble." No wonder the Captain walked off, Call thought. He was not about to tell Madame Scull what he'd done instead of getting barbered and he resented that she had been so impertinent as to ask.

"Where do you think he went, Ed?" Madame Scull asked the Governor, her eyes fixed on Call, even though Augustus had gone to the door and was holding it open.

"Went? I don't know where he went," the Governor said impatiently. "I've just met Captain Call and am not familiar with his habits." "I expect he went to a whore," Inez said, with a little laugh. "He looks like the kind of man who would put whoring before barbering. Don't you agree, Governor?" Governor Pease had had enough--the woman would stay forever, it seemed; and he .was the governor.

"Any man would put whoring before barbering, Inez," he replied. "It would be the normal thing." "That's it! I knew you had starch, Ed Pease," Madame Scull said. "I expect I ought to ask you to my tea party instead of this green ear of corn here, but then you're the governor.

You've got duties." "I've got duties," Governor Pease agreed, as Madame Scull swept out the door.

Call glanced at Augustus, puzzled as to why he would twice say he had no sweetheart to say goodbye to, when Call himself had just seen him holding hands with Clara, outside the general store.

Gus, though, avoided his eye.

"I'll see you at the stables, Woodrow," he said, as he followed Inez Scull out the door.

"It's like eating green persimmons," the Governor remarked darkly, once the door was safely closed.

"What, sir?" Call asked.

"Uncharitable talk, Captain," Governor Pease said, with a sign and a smile. "Every time I talk to Inez I come away feeling like I've eaten a green persimmon--y know how they make your mouth shrink up?" "I wouldn't know, I avoid green fruit!" Call said.

"I've got to send you out, Captain--I gave Inez my promise," the Governor said.

"But it's up to you what to say to Inish, if you catch up with him." "I might just tell him to keep on walking," Call said.

"That's right--let him wander," Governor Pease replied. "Why come back just to be et alive by your wife? If you've got to be et alive, let some cannibal Indian do it." The more the Governor thought about Inez Scull, the more worked up he became.

"Damn rich women anyway," he said.

"Particularly rich women from Birmingham, Alabama." He looked out the window for a bit, gloomily.

"Inez Scull would try the patience of a saint, Captain," he said--and then he paced the room for a few minutes, evidently unable to leave the subject of Inez Scull alone.

"Not just a saint. Jobffwas he exclaimed.

"Inez would even try the patience of Jobffwas "I don't know Job, but she sure tried mine," Call said.

As they walked up the steps of the Scull mansion Augustus began to feel timid and uneasy. Madame Scull had marched along, nearly half a mile, from the Governor's office to the slope where the castle stood, without saying a ^w to him. She had talked constantly while at the Governor's, but now she was mute as a jug.

Earlier in the day, in his vexation over Clara, Gus had kicked a large rock and broken his boot heel. He had been meaning to get it repaired when Woodrow showed up and stuck him in the Governor's buggy.

Now, as he was trying to keep up with the fast-striding Madame Scull, the wobbly boot heel broke off, which caused him to have to walk a little lopsided. His awkward, tilted stride seemed to amuse Madame Scull.

"I believe I embarrassed your friend by accusing him of being a whorer--wd you say I did?" she asked.

"Yes, but it don't take much to embarrass Woodrow Call," he said. "He's still stiff as a poker when it comes to women." "Stiff as a poker--d you mean that anatomically, sir?" Madame Scull asked, with a little laugh.

An old man with a rag was polishing the big brass knocker on the mansion's front door.

The old man looked drunk, but he straightened up promptly when he saw Madame Scull.

"Hello, Ben, this is Captain McCrae, he's going to find Captain Scull and fetch him home," she said. "We'll be having tea in an hour--tell Felice we might appreciate a biscuit as well." Augustus thought that was odd. Why would it take an hour to make tea? Once in the door, though, he forgot about it; he had never supposed he would be in such a grand establishment--everything in the house excited his curiosity. Just inside the door was a great hollowed-out foot of some kind that held umbrellas and parasols and canes and walking sticks.

"I sure wouldn't want to get stomped by a foot this big," he said.

"No, you wouldn't ... it's an elephant's foot," Madame Scull said. "That tusk over the mantel came from the same beast." Sure enough, a gleaming ivory tusk, a little yellowish and taller than a man, was mounted over the mantel. The whole house was full of curious objects and gadgets that he would have liked to look at, but Madame Scull gave him only a moment. In the next room a lovely yellow girl was polishing a long dining table with a cloth.

He smiled at the girl but she didn't acknowledge his smile.

"Don't bring the tea into the bedroom, Felice, just leave it outside my door," Inez said. "And don't rush us, please.

Captain McCrae and I have some serious matters to discuss. Do you take jam with your biscuits, Mr. McCrae?" "Why, yes, I'd approve a little jam, if it's no trouble," he said.

"Why would it be trouble?" Madame Scull said. "Let us have a few dollops of jam, Felice." "Yes, ma'am," the girl said.

Augustus wondered what it would be like to work with a blunt woman such as Madame Scull, but he was allowed no time to do more than nod at the girl.

Madame Scull was ascending the long staircase and she seemed to expect him to follow.

On the second floor there was a long hall with high windows at both ends. A yellow bench stood against one wall. Gus was doing his best to hobble down the hall in his awkward boots when Madame Scull pointed at the bench and ordered him to sit.

"I've had enough of your hobbling, Captain, or may I call you Gus?" she asked.

""Gus"' will do, ma'am," he said, taking the seat she pointed to.

"Let's get those boots off--I can't stand a hobbler," Madame Scull said.

"I can take 'em off, ma'am, but it won't be quick," he said, a little surprised. "They're tight as gloves." "I'll help you, Gus ... stick out your leg," the lady said.

"What, ma'am?" he asked, confused.

"Stick out your leg, sir," Inez demanded; when he obeyed she turned her back to him, straddled his leg, and took his boot in both hands.

"Now push," she demanded. "Push with your other foot." Augustus did nothing of the sort; he was intensely embarrassed. Of course the rangers often helped one another off with recalcitrant boots by using that method--witha little pushing on the helpful ranger's backside, the boot would usually come off.