Louise Penny - A Fatal Grace

Once outside he started walking, his feet munching on the snow. It was a brittle crisp morning but without a breath of wind and Gamache thought the forecast might actually be accurate. It was going to be a cold one, even by Quebec standards. Leaning forward slightly, head down, his mittened hands clasped behind his back, Gamache walked and thought about this baffling case with its embarrassment of suspects and clues.

Puddles of anti-freeze, niacin, The Lion in Winter , booster cables, Psalm 46:10 and a long lost mother. And that was only what he’d uncovered so far. CC was two days dead and what he really needed was an epiphany.

Round the Commons the case took him in the dark, though in winter the night was never pitch black. The snow covering the ground had its own glow. Past the homes of sleeping villagers he trudged, smoke from the chimneys rising vertically, past the darkened shops, though a hint of a light in the basement of Sarah’s Boulangerie promised fresh croissants.

Round and round he went in the astonishing quietude and comfort of the hushed village, his feet crunching on the hardened snow and his breathing loud in his ears.

Was CC’s mother asleep in one of these houses? Was it an easy sleep she enjoyed, or did her conscience startle her awake, like a home invader intent on violence?

Who was CC’s mother?

Had CC found her?

Did Mom want to be found?

Was CC motivated by need for family or was there some other, darker, purpose?

And what about the Li Bien ball? Who’d thrown it away? And why not simply toss it into the frozen dumpster, smashing it into unrecognizable pieces?

Fortunately Armand Gamache loved puzzles. Just then a dark figure shot off the village green, racing toward him.

‘ Henri! Viens ici ,’ a voice commanded. For a dog with such big ears Henri didn’t seem to hear. Gamache stepped aside and Henri skidded past with great glee.

‘ Désolée ,’ said Émilie Longpré, puffing as she approached. ‘Henri, you have no manners.’

‘It’s a privilege to be chosen as Henri’s playmate.’

They both knew Henri also chose his own frozen poop as a playmate, so the bar wasn’t set so high. Still, Em gave a slight incline of her head, acknowledging his courtesy. Émilie Longpré was a dying breed of Québecoise. Les Grandes Dames, not because they pushed and insisted and bullied, but because of their immense dignity and kindness.

‘We’re not used to meeting anyone on our morning walk,’ explained Émilie.

‘What time is it?’

‘Just past seven.’

‘May I join you?’

He fell in beside her, the three of them making their slow progress round the Commons, Gamache tossing snowballs to an ecstatic Henri as one by one lights appeared in village windows. In the distance Olivier waved as he crossed from the B. & B. to the bistro. A moment later soft light came through the window.

‘How well did you know CC?’ Gamache asked, watching Henri skid lazily around on the frozen pond after a snowball.

‘Not well. I only met her a few times.’

In the dark Gamache couldn’t make out Em’s expression. He felt handicapped but focused intently on her tone.

‘She came to visit me.’

‘Why?’

‘I invited her. Then I met her a week or so later at Mother’s meditation center.’ Émilie’s voice held a touch of humor. She could still see it. Mother’s face the color of her caftan, which that day was crimson. CC, thin and righteous, standing in the middle of the meditation room, critiquing Mother’s entire way of life.

‘Of course, it’s understandable.’ CC condescended to Mother. ‘It’s been years since you’ve renewed your spiritual path and things get stale,’ she said, mixing her metaphors and picking up a bright purple meditation pillow with two fingers, as evidence of Mother’s woefully fossilized philosophy. And decorating scheme. ‘I mean, since when has the color purple been divine?’

Mother’s hands flew to the top of her head, her mouth open and silent. But CC didn’t see any of this. She’d tilted her head to the ceiling, palms up, and hummed like a large tuning fork.

‘No, there’s no spirit here. Your ego and emotions have squeezed it out. How can the divine live among all these loud colors? There’s too much you and not enough Higher Power. Still, you’re doing your best and you’re quite a pioneer, bringing meditation to the Townships thirty years ago—’

‘Forty,’ said Mother, finding her voice, though it was a squeak.

‘Whatever. It didn’t matter what you offered, since no one knew any better.’

‘I beg your pardon?’

‘I came here hoping to find someone with some karma to share.’ CC had sighed and looked around, shaking her disillusioned, enlightened, bleached head. ‘Well, my path is clear. I’ve been given a rare gift and I intend to share it. I’ll be opening my home as a meditation center, teaching what I learned from my guru in India. Since my company and book are called Be Calm, that’s what I’ll be calling my meditation center. I’m afraid you’ll have to change the name of your little place. In fact, I’m feeling it might be time for you to close altogether.’

Em feared for CC’s life. Mother probably had just enough strength to throttle CC, and she looked as though she meant to.

‘I sense your anger,’ said CC, displaying an immediate grasp of the obvious. ‘Very toxic.’

‘Mother didn’t take her seriously, of course,’ said Em after she’d described the scene to Gamache.

‘But CC planned to use the name of her center. That could have been a disaster for Mother.’

‘True, but I don’t think Mother believed it.’

‘The center’s called Be Calm. That phrase seems to keep coming up. Wasn’t it the name of your curling team?’

‘Where’d you hear that?’ Em laughed. ‘That must have been fifty, sixty years ago. Ancient history.’

‘But interesting history, madame.’

‘I’m glad you think so. It was a joke. We didn’t take ourselves seriously, and didn’t much care whether we won.’

It was the same story he’d heard before but he wished he could see her expression.

Henri limped over, lifting first one paw then the other.

‘Oh, poor Henri. We’ve stayed out too long.’

‘Should I carry him?’ asked Gamache, feeling badly because he hadn’t remembered that the biting snow could burn a dog’s paw. Now he remembered last winter struggling to carry old Sonny the three blocks home when his feet couldn’t take the cold any more. It had broken both their hearts. And he remembered hugging Sonny to him a few months later when the vet came to put him to sleep. And he remembered saying soothing things into the stinky old ears and looking into the weepy brown eyes as they closed, with one final soft thump of the ragged, beloved, tail. And as he felt the final beat of Sonny’s heart Gamache had had the impression it wasn’t that his old heart had stopped but that Sonny had finally given it all away.

‘We’re almost there,’ said Em, her voice now thick, her lips and cheeks beginning to freeze in the cold.

‘May I offer you breakfast? I’d like to continue this conversation. Perhaps the bistro?’

Émilie Longpré hesitated just an instant, then agreed. They dropped off Henri then made their way through the dawn to Olivier’s Bistro.

‘ Joyeux Noël ,’ the handsome young waiter said to Gamache, showing them to the table by the freshly lit fireplace. ‘It’s good to see you again.’

Gamache held the chair for Em and looked after the young man going to the cappuccino machine to make their bowls of café au lait.

‘Philippe Croft,’ said Em, following his gaze. ‘Nice young man.’