Cheryl Bradshaw - Sinnerman

“Do you know what caused him to get that way?”

“Some days I thought it was me,” I said.

Giovanni’s hand grazed my knee.

“I doubt that.”

“He wanted kids. I think he thought kids would solve our problems, and that if I got pregnant, I wouldn’t leave.”

“And you didn’t?”

“I’ve always wanted children; it’s just that I haven’t been able to…”

What was I doing? I’d divulged more to Giovanni in a couple hours than I had with Nick in three years together.

“How did it end?”

“At the time I wanted to follow in my grandfather’s footsteps and join the FBI, and I was taking steps to begin that process, and he didn’t approve. He actually told me he wouldn’t stand for it, like my life was at his discretion. It was too much. I left, and I never went back.”

“And now?”

“I live life on my terms.”

He grinned and shook his head.

“I meant to say, how is your relationship with Detective Calhoun?”

Somehow I knew he would come up.

“Hard to explain,” I said.

“But you do have one?”

“Had,” I said. “I ended it about a week ago.”

It was all I wanted to say on the subject. Giovanni was quiet for several moments before he spoke again.

“I never thought Detective Calhoun was the right man for you.”

How could he possibly know whether he was or wasn’t?

“Ah, I can tell from the look on your face that I’ve offended you,” he said. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be,” I said. “It’s just that you hardly know me. Nick isn’t such a bad guy. I’m just at a point in my life where I…”

What was it with me tonight? In one evening I’d turned into Chatty Cathy.

“When I look at you I see an independent woman, one who doesn’t take no for an answer. Someone who never backs down from a challenge. You’re as passionate about the cases you take on as the clients you work for. You like being in a relationship, but you don’t need it to survive. Would you like me to go on?”

I wanted to say something, but what, I didn’t know. He continued.

“I believe what happened to your sister affected you in a profound way, and that you’ve never gotten past it, even though you’ve tried. Somehow you’ve persuaded yourself to believe that once you catch the killer things will change, but deep down you know it will never bring you the peace of mind you long for. There will always be a void in your life, a hole that can’t be replaced. I too have lost the people I love—those closest to me. You learn to live with it, move on, and you do because you have to. But the pain doesn’t ever go away, not all of it.”

There was a time when I thought Nick knew me so well, but no one had ever come close to what I’d experienced with Giovanni in such a short amount of time. I looked around and noticed everyone had started to clap and had stood up and gathered their blankets, and I realized the concert was already over. I stood with Giovanni and then bent down and grabbed a corner of the blanket.

He placed his hand on my wrist. “Leave it,” he said. “Someone else will take care of that.”

The drive home was spent in an uncomfortable silence, for me anyway. Giovanni seemed content and had a permanent smile on his face for the entire ride. I couldn’t help but wonder what he thought of my overshare, and I was surprised I’d reminisced over a past I tried hard to forget. Once again I came away with little more information about Giovanni than I already knew about him. It was a disappointment.

We reached my house and Giovanni shut the car off and reclined back in his seat and gazed at me, which gave me the impression he wanted to continue our little chat. I didn’t.

“I need to say something,” I said.

“Go on.”

“I know it’s a sign of respect to open the door for a woman, but it’s too much. Please don’t take it the wrong way, but I can manage my own door from now on.” And with that, I opened the car door and got out and closed it behind me.

Now what?

Giovanni exited his side of the car, and when I turned to see how he’d taken what I just said, his hand was over his mouth and all I could see was his backside.

“Are you laughing at me?” I said.

“I’m sorry.”

“What’s so funny?” I said.

“You are.”

“In what way?”

“You are so different.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” I said.

“I’ve never met another woman quite like you.”

We walked up the path that led to my front porch, and when I glanced in his direction, he still had a look of amusement on his face. I reached for the door and turned.

“What is it that you want from me?” I said.

He cupped his hand beneath my chin and leaned in and stared into my eyes for a moment and then gave me a kiss, but not on the lips—on the cheek of all places, which made me feel like I’d just bid a fond farewell to my brother, if I had one.

“See you tomorrow,” he said.

And with that, he turned and went.

CHAPTER 30

“He kissed you?”

I nodded.

“If you can call it that.”

I felt like a teenager who couldn’t wait to give the scoop to her girlfriend.

“And what did you do?” Maddie said.

“I’m not sure, it all happened kinda fast.”

Maddie and I had just finished jujitsu class and were on our way to her lab. Her eyes were lit up like a sparkler on the Fourth of July.

“Well, did you kiss him back or what?” she said.

“On his cheek? Wouldn’t that seem a bit strange?”

She popped a bubble with the green apple-flavored gum she swished around inside her mouth.

“Girl, you should have slid your face over a few inches and gone in for the real deal. You know he wouldn’t have said no.”

“I imagine one day our lips will make a connection and when they do it will be first-prize-at-the-fair good. But I won’t know for sure until that happens.”

She smacked me on the shoulder, tossed her head back and laughed.

“Good for you,” she said. “I can tell you’re looking forward to it.”

“You don’t think it’s a big deal?”

“Why would it be?”

“I just got out of a relationship a week ago Maddie. Shouldn’t I feel bad or something?”

“Why, because you think it’s too soon?” she said.

“Isn’t it?”

“If he did kiss you, or tried something more—would you regret it?”

I shook my head.

“Well then, there’s your answer,” she said.

“Maybe you’re right.”

“I need to meet this guy though. Then I can tell you how I really feel.”

We arrived at the lab and went in. Maddie walked over to her desk and opened a file.

“Okay, this is what I wanted to show you,” she said.

“What am I looking at?”

“Hair follicles.”

“These were found in the suspect’s car, right?”

She nodded.

“They’re an exact match to the last two victims,” she said.

“I can’t believe it.”

“It proves they were both in his car.”

“More than that,” I said. “We have our killer.”

“Maybe.”

“What do you mean?”

“When I took a close look at the hair found in the car, I noticed something unusual,” she said. “It’s just a minor thing—but it’s been on my mind. Usually when hair is found like that, it’s a secondary transfer.”

“Meaning?”

“A piece that’s fallen out on its own and attached itself to whatever is there—the seat, fibers in the carpet, a floor mat, etc. If the hair falls out naturally the root has a club shape which is easy for me to see. If the killer yanked it out on the other hand, the root is stretched and sometimes broken. Neither applies to the strands of hair I tested.”