Johanna Lindsey - Johanna Lindsey When Love Awaits

hardly noticeable against the deep blue-black bruises surrounding the

whole of her face. She was loath to imagine what her chest and arms

looked like, for Richer had not confined his blows to her head.

She was clothed as fully as she had been when Richer left her. And

someone had kept Wilda from coming to her last evening, so she had not

disrobed at all. She had, she guessed, lapsed into unconsciousness soon

after Richer left, and not wakened since.

"I think I have looked better," Leonie said, setting the mirror down. "I thought he had broken my nose, but now I think it will mend—along

with the rest of me."

"How can you jest, my lady?"

"Because it is better than crying, and that is what I will do if I think of what this beating accomplished."

"You will marry him then?"

"You know about it?"

"My lady, the horses are saddled and waiting. Everything is prepared

and ready. . . except you."

Leonie would have given anything to stop this, but now that she had

given her word, sworn on all that was holy as well as her mother's grave,

she would have to marry Rolfe d'Ambert. It did not matter that the vow

had been beaten out of her—she had said the words and she would have

to abide by them.

Oh, how she wanted to cry. She had been so sure she could withstand

Richer's hands, but she was wrong. He had slapped her again and again,

and when, her cheeks scarlet, she did not cower or beg, he began using

his fists. She had borne as much as she could, believing that the beating

could not be worse than whatever the Black Wolf planned for her. But

when she realized that Richer would kill her if he was not stopped, and

that there was no one to stop him, she had given up. If her father could

let this happen, he would not save her.

No one interfered. No one came, even when she screamed. She knew

then that there would be no help, and so she did what she had to do.

Sir Guibert would kill Richer for her, but what good was that? The

scum was only following her father's orders. And although she was

choking in sorrow and hatred for her father, she did not wish for more

violence. Therefore, she would have to conceal what had been done to

her.

"Bring me my medicines, Wilda, then find me a suitable gown to be

married in. I care not if my husband knows I was forced to wed him, but

no one else is to know. Do you understand? Find me a veil, a dark one,

and gloves, I think. I have had a recurrence of my childhood rashes, and

there is no time to make the ointment to relieve it. Do you hear? That is

what you will go and tell my aunt and Sir Guibert."

"But you outgrew those rashes."

"I know, but it is not impossible that I became so nervous about

meeting my future husband that the rash reappeared. And it is also

understandable that I would wish to hide it. Just make sure Sir Guibert

believes the story. Do that now, then return and help me dress. And carry

my medicines along to Crewel. I will have more need of them later."

Alone, Leonie put her head in her hands and sobbed. This day was

going to be one horror after another.

For the swelling and bruises she applied a mixture of the marsh

mallow root and oil of roses. For her nerves and the overall aching she

drank a sedating syrup made from chamomile flowers. She would have

taken a mixture of white poppy, but she didn't think she should fall

asleep during the wedding ceremony.

By the time Wilda returned, Leonie was already feeling the effects of

the sedative.

"You told Sir Guibert what I bid you?"

"Aye. He was most sympathetic and said he would himself explain to

your husband the reason why you will be veiled. And your aunt began to

cry. She wanted to come to you now but Lady Judith has kept her busy

through the night and all morning. Why, I don't believe she has had any

sleep."

"It is just as well. I do not want her to see me like this." Looking at her young maid squarely, she said, 'Tell me something, Wilda. Have you ever

had a man?"

"My lady! I—"

"I will not scold you, Wilda," Leonie quickly assured her. "My mother died without preparing me, thinking she would have time for it later.

And I could not ask Aunt Beatrix about these things. I want to know

what I will face today. Tell me."

Wilda lowered her eyes, speaking softly. "It will be painful the first

time, my lady. It is the tearing of your maidenhead that causes the pain

and the bleeding that will be displayed on your sheets the next morning.

But it is not a great pain and is quickly over. Afterward—is most

enjoyable."

"Truly? The other girls at court said it was horrible."

"They lied. Or they repeated what their mothers told them." She

shrugged. "For some women it is always painful because they believe it is a sin to enjoy it. But as long as you have some feeling for your husband—

" Wilda gasped, realizing her blunder. "Oh, my lady, I am sorry. I know you have no liking for the man."

"So I am doomed always to feel pain? But he has no liking for me,

either, so perhaps he will not bother me often. I thank you for telling me,

Wilda."

Leonie told herself to stay calm. She could not go to Crewel trembling

in dread. If he hoped to see her cower, he had much to learn about Leonie

of Montwyn.

Chapter 9

LEONIE instantly recognized the woman who waited in the large hall

of Crewel to greet the wedding party. She, introduced herself as Lady

Amelia, ward of Rolfe d'Ambert, but Leonie knew her as the woman who

had given the Black Wolf her favor on the tourney field and accepted his

passionate kiss. Ward? Mistress, without a doubt. But Leonie wasn't

sorry. The Black Wolf could have a hundred mistresses, as long as he left

her alone.

"Sir William, Lady Judith, do you make yourselves comfortable and

my lord Rolfe will greet you in a moment," Amelia said in a most

agreeable tone. She turned to Leonie then. "My lady, if you will come

with me, I will show you to a chamber where you may wait until the

ceremony begins."

Leonie said not a word. She followed the older woman, glad to be

gone from her father and Judith's company. She had said not a word to

either of them during the journey to Crewel. Her father had tried to talk

to her, but she had turned away from him.

Leonie knew Crewel well. She knew that Amelia was taking her to the

small room next to the chapel in the forebuilding. Crewel was not like

Pershwick at all. Sir Edmond had looked to his comfort in all things, and

Leonie remembered that one of the reasons she enjoyed coming to

Crewel as a child was the fascination of always finding something

changed. Once it was a new room added above the raised dais at the

lord's end of the hall. Later that space was enclosed to become the lord's

chamber. Then a room was added at the opposite end of the hall above

the servants' smaller hearth, when Alain was knighted. Soon after that

the space between the two large chambers was filled in, and now there

was a whole second floor with many stairways circling up to it from the

hall. The original ceiling had been so high that, even with the second

floor, the ceiling was still high above everything.

It was a place of comfort, and it offered privacy where Pershwick did

not, but Leonie's nervousness was mounting. It struck her suddenly that

the Black Wolf's mistress had greeted them in the hall. What peculiar

behavior. He was treating her contemptuously even before the wedding.

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