Radclyffe - Love's Melody Lost

Anna forced herself to focus. "Yes, sureground cover? I had noticed thatbut theres so much around here that needs attention, it just slipped my mind. Did you speak to Graham?"

Daphne looked surprised. "No, why would I? You hired me. You make the decisions."

"I just thoughtI saw you talking to Graham when I came home" her voice trailed off uncertainly. God, she was a mess!

"Oh, that was just small talk. I ran into her out back, she asked me how things were going. Shes always so charming , you know? Every woman in my crew has a crush on her!" she said with a laugh.

"Including you?" Anna asked, trying to match Daphnes light tone.

Daphne studied Anna carefully. She looked shaken and pale. "Oh hellis that what youre thinking? I have a lover Im nuts about, and weve got two great kids. Graham is fascinating, not to mention gorgeous, and I do think shes incredibly attractivebut looking is as far it goes with me."

Anna busied herself with unpacking, avoiding Daphnes intense gaze. "Its none of my business anyway. I didnt mean to put you on the spot."

"I assumed you two were lovers," Daphne said, a question in her voice.

"No," Anna whispered almost to herself. Taking a deep breath, she turned to Daphne. "Why did you think that?"

"I could be on dangerous ground here - lots of room to offend if Im wrong." Daphne shrugged, flashing her trademark grin. "But what the hell. After twenty years of seeing women in all stages of togetherness, you get a sense for it. Its the way you are around each other. Your face lights up whenever she appears. Your eyes follow her whenever shes in sight. I know damn well it kills you every time she heads down that goddamned slope to the cliff. I can tell you stop breathing. It takes more guts than Ive got to watch her do that without screaming."

"Graham doesnt leave you any choice," Anna murmured, "she doesnt know how to be anything but proud."

Daphne nodded. "Ive never met anyone like her. She listens for you, you know. In the middle of our conversation just now I saw her smile, and her whole body relaxed just a little. Ten seconds later I heard your jeep. Shed been listening for you to come home. She knows how to find you when youre in the garden. She walks right to you. How does she do that?"

"I dont know," Anna sighed. "I dont think I know anything about anything anymore."

Daphne considered letting it go, but Anna looked so miserable. Graham had seemed pretty frayed too. "First time youve ever been in love with a woman?" she asked kindly.

Hearing it put so matter of factly gave her pause. "Ive never been in love before," she said after a moment, knowing it was true.

"Sometimes," Daphne continued cautiously, "its just a false alarm."

Anna met Daphnes gaze steadily, a muscle tightening in her jaw. "No."

Daphne could tell she meant it. And something was really wrong. Annas usually clear blue eyes were clouded with pain, her face was drawn and tired, and she looked on the verge of breaking into tears.

"Does she know how you feel about her?"

Anna studied her hands, her cheeks coloring. "Its not that simple. Graham is - complicated. She was horribly hurt." She took a deep breath, smiling tremulously. "I dont think Graham gives me much thought."

"This is serious, isnt it?" Daphne asked softly.

"Yes."

"I wish I could help" Daphne began.

Anna appreciated her sympathy, but she interrupted her with a shake of her head. Even before Christines arrival, Anna noticed a reticence in the way Graham treated her. She was always welcoming and seemed to enjoy Annas companybut still there was the distance. Just when Anna thought Graham was becoming more comfortable with her, something would cause her to withdraw. Anna was never sure what she had said, or what painful memory she had triggered. Often Annas encounters with Graham left her unsettled, and she was slowly becoming aware of an inner void that seemed to deepen each day. With Christine here now, and Grahams apparent attachment to her, there seemed to be little room for Anna in Grahams life. She smiled at Daphne ruefully.

"The only one who can help is Graham."

Chapter Twelve

In the days that followed Anna saw little of Graham. She kept to her usual routine, spending time with Helen in the morning, working on the grounds in the afternoon. Graham had not sent for her, and Anna did not seek her out. She saw Graham and Christine together often as they walked about the grounds, or sat together on the terrace in the afternoons. Graham spent every evening, if not the entire night, alone in her study.

Aside from the times Graham denied Christine entry to the music room, Christine was never far from Grahams side, and her possessive attitude was intolerable for Anna. Anna tried her best to be polite, but the sight of them together, Christine constantly touching Graham in some way, made her irrationally angry. And that made her even more short-tempered. After all, it was none of her concern if Graham Yardley behaved like a fool around that woman! She began to wonder how much more she could endure. She tried to avoid them as much as possible, even taking her meals with Helen in the late afternoon, offering excuses as to why she couldnt be present for the now routine dinner gatherings.

The worst parts of her day were the evenings. Although she usually worked until she was physically exhausted, she didnt seem able to sleep. Once it had been a comfort to retire to her rooms, and fall asleep with a book open on her lap. Now even that consolation eluded her. Every time someone passed in the hall she couldnt help thinking it was Christine, on her way to the master suite at the opposite end of the hall. Rationally, she knew there were any number of reasons Helen, or Christine, or Graham herself might pass in the hall, but she was anything but rational. She was driving herself crazy imaging Christine in Grahams bed!

She threw down the book she had been trying to read for three nights in a row and snatched her denim jacket from the coat rack by her door. Despite the warm early summer days, evenings by the sea were still cool. She needed to walk off her anxiety and deepening sense of despair. Unconsciously, she took the meandering path through the lower slopes of the back property, skirting along the sea wall. Yardley stood several hundred yards uphill, and with its lights flickering through the trees, it cast a magical shape against the darkening sky. As if to accompany that otherworldly aura, Anna caught the strains of a wistful melody floating in the air. She began the steep climb up the wildly overgrown track toward the source. The terrace doors stood open to the darkness of the night, which blended into the blackness inside the music room. Graham was alone, playing.

Anna leaned against the balustrade on the far side of the terrace, listening, straining for some glimpse of the woman in the shadows. The melancholy tenor of the music seemed to echo her own internal anguish. She made no effort to stop the tears. She had no idea how long she stood there, joined with Graham in some unnamed longing, when a voice quite near startled her from her reverie.

"She is absolutely magnificent, isnt she?" Christine remarked casually as she joined Anna on the terrace.

"Yes," Anna said softly, having no reason to deny what the entire world had recognized. Only a few of her caliber born each century, one reviewer had said.

"Oh, I wasnt talking about her music," Christine laughed. "But then Im sure youve noticed what an exquisite specimen she is. You seem to have developed quite an appreciation for all her attributes. Believe me, in her case, her genius extends beyond the piano. She brings that remarkable intensity to absolutely everything she touches. And everyone. Fortunately Graham was too seduced by her music to notice anyone for more than a night or two- before me of course." She laughed, appraising Anna in the dim light of the moon. She found Anna naturally lovely, with her work hardened body, feminine yet strong, and her clear eyes and shimmering hair. She was the type Christine had amused herself with over the years since Graham. Under other circumstances - she thought briefly, then reminded herself of her intentions.